first grade diary

this was my first diary. i was 7 years old. seems so cute and innocent, right? where a girl who could barely write would write about bunnies and rainbows. 

but no, instead i filled it with the names of every kid in my class and graded their appearance, intelligence, and niceness. also added their phone numbers. 

what a little witch i was! as much as i'd like to be an INFP, there's no denying i am an INFJ. i probably should have channeled this judginess into becoming a college admissions officer. 

nacho & guacamole

i won a contest!

from the fantastic site betsylife, partnered with wholly guacamole.

a cooler just showed up at the door full of vacuum sealed guacamole and salsa!

fiesta! foreva!

the wily fox of breckenridge golf course

this summer has come and gone like a great blue heron flying very quickly in one direction. 

one of the craziest things that happened was on the breckenridge golf course. i was walking around while kevin, his dad, and brother played. it is a spectacular place to walk around. i would not want to be chasing a blasted little white ball into the chaparral and beaver ponds, but it is a spectacular place to walk around.

it was a par 4 on the front 9, and everybody hit their second shots close to the green. kevin's dad's ball unfortunately went into a greenside bunker. maybe the first time i've ever seen him hit a shot into a bunker. everybody else's shots were on the green. we were about 100 yards away. 

suddenly, a big fox appeared. big like 40 lbs. he looked at us, trotted across the green, down into the bunker, took kevin's dad's ball out of the trap, and dropped it on the green 10 feet from the hole.  

he then trotted to kevin's brother's ball, picked it up, and ran away with it into the woods.

supposedly he thinks the balls are eggs.

supposedly there is a fox den in breckenridge overflowing with titleist pro v1's. 

kevin's dad played the ball from the green where the fox left it. after the round, we heard that the right ruling would have been to put his ball back in the bunker.

tiger woods loves his putter

make sure it hefts well in your hands.

from a pre-scandal book published in 2001.  

hard to believe he approved these graphics. 

the ancient and modern olympics

i made this poster in the 4th grade - 1986.

the basement flooded and the index card from the ancient olympics is missing.

the index card from the modern olympics contains some dated phrases:

  it was so important i used white-out to correct a lowercase "o" in olympics.

the hunch, the pounce and the kill

pouncey interpreting the new york times sunday business headline which features his name

the hunch 

the pounce 

and the kill 

white squirrel crap

brevard white squirrel festival 

no sign of sugar

we did see pisgah pete though

the daily puppy!

Guess who is the featured puppy on The Daily Puppy Today!

POUNCEY!

The comments are cracking me the hell up.

Please go to the site and give him 11 biscuits! 

pouncey

we found some pups on craigslist last week. they were in waynesville and not from a breeder, two yellow labs in a family 'got together' and had a litter.

we were going to JUST go LOOK at them and MAYBE pick one out, to POSSIBLY bring one home next week. 

but then we got there and that was impossible. 

this is pouncey. 

he is very very calm. he was born on the ides of march. he weighs 14 lbs.

eli and nacho have been very sweet to him and vice versa.  

 

breakdance teddy bear 1982

i found some treasures in the basement this weekend which my mom was kind enough to box up and send down here. 

 this is what i was thinking about in second grade. breakdancing teddy bears.

dressers of a feather

could these dressers be any more similar? 

identical size. 3 drawers. top drawer opens with round pulls. bottom drawer pulls are 95% identical. 

 the one on the right was in my bedroom growing up in rhode island, the one on the left in kevin's while he was growing up in tallahassee. 

i was shocked when i went to visit him for the first time in 2008 and saw it. 

i think it's so strange that we both kept them, and ended up with them as adults. 

they're old and scratched and dinged and heavy and his is missing a drawer pull, but they're sturdy as hell and i love them.

littering and

i haven't seen a display of littering like this since the 80's. 

830 am. 

waiting for the light to change. 

girl in maxima goes through the mcdonald's drive-thru. 

rolls down window. 

tosses out some coffee onto pavement. (okay fine). 

20 seconds later tosses out plastic cream container. (not fine) 

10 seconds later tosses out another plastic cream container. (seriously) 

10 seconds later tosses out a stirrer. (no joke)

*****

had i been a male, i would have gone up to her window and confronted her. 

as it stands, i encourage anybody who knows this girl who drives a black nissan maxima, maryland plates 9FL D49, to throw your trash on her doorstep.

bonnet shores 1989

packing up boxes i came across some old photos that needed scanning. 

 i'm not going to identify the people in this picture because it's just too ridiculous, but one of them is me, and this is a normal typical scene from my childhood. 

one of these girls had just cut her own bangs with manicure scissors.

queen of my soul

i found this at the value village in gastonia. 

i left this at the value village in gastonia. 

i would like to know:

1. how many of these were made? 
2. how many of these were sold? 
3. did anybody hang this in their house? 
4. where in their house would such a thing hang? 
5. do these people know each other?

nacho vs. the guest pillows

could he possibly get more fur onto every single  pillow? 

no. 

at least he's comfy.

he had a traumatic experience with a dental cleaning recently, but things are looking up. i don't want to stir up trouble, but i'm interested in hearing from other people in asheville who have had awful experiences with getting their pets' teeth cleaned. maybe we were the only ones? 

speaking of nekkid basketball

i've said before the local commercials around here are weird, but this is the latest weirdest.

it's a personal injury law firm. two older male lawyers dressed in business suits are on a high school basketball court. 

with a girl in a half shirt and tiny mini skirt. 

inexplicable. 

who is she? why is she there? is she a lawyer too? secretary? just a woman for hire? how is this related? or relevant? in any way?

sex sells. but does it sell lawyers? makes them seem lecherous and sleazy and distracted to me.

save the sluts for the beer ads, i want my lawyers in libraries.

Why do they play basketball nekkid at nc state?

Let's put on leotards and do sit ups attached to the dresser.

vet expansion

the dogs' vet is undergoing a massive expansion. doubling in size. it was already nicer than my own doctor in there. 

on one hand i think it's great the dogs can get top notch care right around the corner. 

on the other hand, i think those fuckers must be overcharging.

catch the feeling! (shoulder thrust)

i am in love with this skyland auto girl. if i saw her on the street i would be completely starstruck and ask for her autograph.

she's been doing these car commercials for the past couple of years at least. she matches her outfits to whatever major holiday is going on. she ends almost every one with "catch the feeling!" and does a jaunty little shoulder thrust.

it's amazing.

local commercials are unbelievable around here. almost as good as flea market montgomery.

it's just like, it's just like, a mini-mall! hey hey!