Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 08, 2015

running bear

and we've got to get ourselves back to the gaaaa-aaaa-aaaa-arden!

saw this little fella stopped in a neighbor's driveway yesterday afternoon. it started running from us, through yards, into the woods. 

looked to be young and healthy, about 150 lbs. 

we had an encounter in the yard last week with a bear - i was out there throwing the ball for all 3 dogs around lunchtime, sugarhoney stopped in her tracks and started growling, eli blazed past her directly at a big black bear 20 yards away just over a hill, i started yelling for all dogs to come with me back to the house, they followed me, and the bear walked in the opposite direction.

it's a jungle out there!

Thursday, April 30, 2015

deja vu daily puppy!

this is a momentous day for 2 reasons: 1) i survived; and 2) the daily puppy re-ran pouncey as their puppy of the day!

sitting in 9th grade biology class, we were talking about diabetes and the teacher mentioned sufferers may have a shortened lifespan. at this moment i was struck with the feeling i, myself, diabetes-free, would die at 38. i have not obsessed over this, but i have remembered it vaguely from time to time for the past 23 years. i am glad to say my premonition was horseshit! i made it! 

now go over to the daily puppy and give pouncey 11 biscuits...again.

Saturday, November 01, 2014

daily sugarhoney: sugarsnow

2 days ago it was 80 degrees.

this morning it's 30 with 5 inches of snow.

sugarhoney says that's okay!


she has already peed on the deck and learned how to make snowballs.


Wednesday, October 01, 2014

WTF Wednesday - Spooning Horses, Sexy Jesus, Butts

Hello Wednesday! Hola WTF! Time to check out some crazy human creations!

First off, here is a ready-to-frame fine art print.



Moving right along, here we find a sculpture simply called "My Friend." 

a fez-wearing shriner holds a squirming little crippled boy on his lap. The boy's crutches are on one side, a dog on the other.

I apologize for the blurriness of this picture, but please feast your eyes on Sexy Jesus. Wet hair tousled, knowing smirk, glimmer in his eye. If not full on Sexy Jesus, at least Soap Opera Jesus. 


Next up, how about some horses in a very unnatural position? I am not a horse person, but I don't think they actually sit like this.

It would be a lot cooler if they did. WTF?!

Last but not least, please check out this 3.5 minute animation by our friend Guadalajara Joe that could leave you bemused, confused, and amused.  "Kickin' It in Coalinga" - "Gayle must save Aunt Fitzgerald from a big scary shark by getting a job to get enough money to save her!"

As with all wtf wednesdays, there are no answers, only questions leading to more questions.

For more vintage wtf wonders (for sale), click here: vintage wtf

Friday, September 19, 2014

daily sugarhoney: sugar persistence

and now for the next exciting installment of the 'sugarhoney wants to get on the couch' series:

sugarhoney wants to get on the couch
ready to leap, pouncey's nose wrinkles

sugarhoney couch
no way jose

sugarhoney couch
the end.

sugar snugs

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

WTF Wednesday: Sassy Souse, Neuticles, Safari Teddy

Hello Wednesday, hello WTF!

If you tuned in last week, you may remember reference to livermush, and a livermush festival.

Perusing my grocer's freezer, I happened upon an entire section of liver loaves and was intrigued by its neighbor named "Souse." 

Marketed as "Sassy Souse." Upon investigation, it's also known as head cheese. I cannot imagine a more disgusting food label than "head cheese." I can see why they are going with "souse" instead.

 It seems to contain, pork, pork tongues, pork hearts, pork skins, a bunch of carcinogenic preservatives, pickles, and wheat gluten. Fully cooked, ready to eat, a delicious sandwich meat.


 Moving right along to dog balls. Neuticles (slogan: "It's like nothing ever changed.") are prosthetic testicle implants that you can get for your male dog when he is neutered. There are some hazy allegations that they may help the dog's self esteem, but the main purpose seems to be the owners like the way they look, and owners who would not neuter because they want their dog to have balls, will now neuter and implant these fake balls instead.

As if that weren't WTF enough already, they sell neuticle-related items like...earrings. Dog ball implant earrings. 


Ending on a more vintage note, here's a late 80s to early 90s crop top half t-shirt with a Jeep Wrangler-driving, pith helmet-wearing Teddy bear on African safari.

It's a size XL and in glorious condition.


As with all wtf wednesdays, there are no answers, only questions leading to more questions.

For more vintage wtf wonders (for sale), click here: vintage wtf

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

daily sugarhoney: sugar provocation

happy pouncey was hanging out on the couch.

happy pouncey

sugarhoney inquired,  "hey pouncey, you wanna play?"

hey pouncey wanna play?

"NO I DO NOT," snapped pouncey.


"are you suuuuuuuuure?"

are you sure?

"how about now? maybe you wanna play now?"

how about now?


i'll show you PLAY

the end.

diagonal snuggles

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

WTF Wednesday - Lion Bottle, Livermush, Butt Hiding

Hellllllo WTF Wednesday! Let's celebrate some cray-cray!

How about a glass bottle, maybe an empty bottle of rum. Cover it with some papier-mâché type mess and paint it like a lion?


Thank you, Brigid Keenan for this self-esteem boosting coffee table book from 1977. Perfect for when you'd like to spend an afternoon just wallowing in jealousy.


I thought I was the barkeeper's friend! Not the cleaning scrub. Hmmmph.

Here's a clip from the Mountain Xpress back in June. Livermush. Festival. Dad are you seeing this? It reeks of scrapple.

Last but not least, here's a rear windshield that would be hard to see out of. It's been modified with adhesive letters which spell: "Show your mind, Not your behind."  Excellent!


As with all wtf wednesdays, there are no answers, only questions leading to more questions.

For more vintage wtf wonders (for sale), click here: vintage wtf

Monday, September 08, 2014

daily sugarhoney: sugarbear

sugarhoney sits like a black bear cub.

sugarhoney sits like a bear

she sits down, and pushes back with her arms until she's balanced on the back of her butt.

i've never seen a dog do this. maybe it's a female thing?


there's something very yogi/buddha-like about it. 


Wednesday, September 03, 2014

WTF Wednesday - Batdog & Splasheville & Skulls

It's Wednesday which means time again to focus on the whacky!

The Greensboro Grasshoppers minor league baseball team has a bat dog. A black lab that goes out on the field during the games to retrieve balls and bats. 

The first one was Miss Babe Ruth. Since then, they have used Miss Lou Gehrig, and Master Yogi Berra.

I first saw the dogs when they worked the ACC Tournament games for UNC last year. 

Pouncey saw the bitch of his dreams on TV. 

Babe's brother, Master Yogi Berra, is still working for them, even though he got himself ejected from a game for 'relieving himself on the field.'

This article is hilarious: Baseball Insider: It's About Time: First Dog Ejected From Game

If you've been looking for a sign that the apocalypse is nigh, well, here it is. According to the Greensboro, N.C. News-Record, Master Yogi Berra, a bat and ball carrying dog for the Greensboro Grasshoppers, became the first canine ejected from a baseball game when he was tossed by home plate umpire Jason Hutchings during Greensboro's 9-6 loss to Asheville for "relieving himself" on the field.
The story goes something like this: Master Yogi was involved in one of his traditional between-innings routines, chasing down a ball that was sent deep to center field. En route to the plate, he stopped and left a memento of his trek to get the ball right on the field. Hutchings wasn't having any of that, and he tossed the pooch right after the act.
Amidst the turmoil, the Grasshoppers are sticking with their man. Or dog, as the case may be. Team owner Donald Moore said Yogi was fighting through a stomach virus, and then provided what must be one of the most sublime quotes in baseball history.
"When you gotta go, you gotta go," Moore said. "Yogi's had a tough start to his season, and I hope this doesn't get him down. He clearly couldn't control himself out there. He's such a competitor and he wanted to do his duties as he's been trained. We all hope Yogi feels better soon and he returns to us ready to entertain our fans. You know, he's volunteering his time out there, so I hope he doesn't get fined too much (for his ejection). I don't know the Rulebook like the back of my hand, but apparently a dog can't do his business on the field. Let's hope this is an isolated incident, and Yogi can learn from this experience,"
The best part of the whole episode? Yogi is now listed as day-to-day on the team's injury report. Yes, a dog is day-to-day. Something tells us he'll eat some grass and be back out there against Asheville tonight.

By Cameron Smith  |  April 23, 2009

This makes me giggle with glee! 


Next I have to give a giant WTF to the city of Asheville for closing the wildly popular Splasheville water fun park for the entire heat of the summer this year. I understand things break and it takes a while to fix them, but they need to publicize that the fountain is closed! Otherwise, kids in bathing suits arrive ready to play, are met with a cold hard "BROKEN" sign, dreams are dashed, and parents' promises are unfulfilled. 

The Asheville Disclaimer has called Splasheville "Asheville's Bidet," but I would like to flush city managers down the toilet for how they've handled this. The city website still shows the park as open. 

The local paper ran a story yesterday saying it has been closed for weeks, and will be closed for more weeks. "Splashville [sic] weeks away from opening in Asheville

Again, this is fine, but TELL THE PEOPLE. 


Last but not least, here is a crazy t-shirt from the late 80's advertising a mail order skull catalog. 

available skulls include: wombat, muskrat, hippopotamus, and more! 


As with all wtf wednesdays, there are no answers, only questions leading to more questions.

For more vintage wtf wonders (for sale), click here: vintage wtf

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

WTF wednesday

welcome to your first ever installment of WTF wednesday!

that day reserved for scratching your head at the wide variety of whackadoo things human beings have created.

i come across some weird, bizarre, crazy shit in my travels as a vintage hound, and will share some of them here.

here is a charming 70's cross stitch wall hanging. meant for a children's bathroom. why is the boy holding a sling shot. no really, WHY?

who wants to boogie board on a confederate flag? how about a confederate flag with a pitbull in a chain collar? sometimes i'd like to kick america in the jimmy.

 here's a sweet and loving 70's wooden plaque from bryson city, NC. the only non-vice expense in his budget is dog food.  (kevin hung this one up at his law office - asheville bankruptcy lawyer.)

even the handi-men in hawaii wear aloha shirts.  

we went to look at our 'dream house' on town mountain. the internet said it had a pool. the location was perfect. the view divine.

the house had been completely washed away by water. sad trombone.

as with all wtf wednesdays, there are no answers, only questions leading to more questions.

for more vintage wtf wonders (for sale), click here: vintage wtf

Thursday, July 10, 2014

how can you tell if a bear's been in your tree?

claw marks on the trunk!

bear claw marks on the cherry tree

bear claw marks on the cherry tree

bear claw marks on the cherry tree

what they're after:

cherries for the bears

reminds me of the old joke: how can you tell if an elephant's been in your refrigerator? there are footprints in the jello.

pouncey is curious. about bears and cherries. and cameras.

pouncey through the railing

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

florida, alabama, and sinking cars

spent the past few days in tallahassee where the skies were fantastically blue and 82.  had some Apalachicola oysters that were plump and delicious but not salty. i went thrifting and scored some great stuff like a 70's Florida State Seminoles golf shirt. pouncey came with us and got an A+.

went to the FSU student circus. the only animals were humans. the students do not get paid, and do not get class credit, they do it for fun. they were flipping, juggling, twirling, clowning, and balancing all over the place.

watched a really cool documentary last night called 'muscle shoals.' so many awesome albums of the 70's - 80's were recorded in that little town. rolling stones, bob seger, bob dylan, percy sledge, on and on. the archival footage of aretha franklin in her 20's was worth the watch alone. if you like southern rock, or any rock, or any music at all, this movie is a must see. i found myself often covered in goose bumps and occasionally tears.

if you want to read something absolutely terrifying but also full of good information - How to Escape from a Sinking Car

Thursday, February 20, 2014

where my oil pullers at?

just kidding, i don't think that anybody who reads here is an oil puller. but you never know!

i first heard of this practice - oil pulling - a few years ago on a facebook for hippies site called "tribe," where a lot of alternative thinkers would post questions and solutions, most with a decidedly natural bent.  i was looking for carcinogen-free toothpaste recommendations and saw a post about oil pulling. it was interesting but i did not try it.

fast forward to last fall when i was becoming aware of the wonders of coconut oil. i was fighting a cold and there was a recommendation i saw online for mixing coconut oil with eucalyptus oil and putting it on the bottom of your feet to clear sinuses. it seemed like a better (less malodorous) idea than the bowls of chopped onions i put around the house last year. the same thread mentioned oil pulling. several commenters chimed in with anecdotes of oil pulling easing everything from tooth decay to rheumatoid arthritis - head colds, blood sugar stability, cramps, asthma, back pain, skin problems, the works.

i bought a jar of unrefined cold pressed virgin coconut oil and was happy with how it plus eucalyptus helped my cold. 

i figured the ancient Ayurvedic practice of oil pulling might be worth a shot.

basically you put a tablespoonful of oil (unrefined coconut or sesame seem to be the most popular) in your mouth and swish it around for 10-20 minutes, first thing in the morning on an empty stomach.  i floss my teeth beforehand so the space between my teeth is bigger. after swishing through your teeth, you spit it out in a jar or trash can *NOT DOWN THE DRAIN* and rinse with warm salt water and then brush your teeth as usual.

it supposedly works like an intense mouth wash - the coconut oil is anti-viral, anti-fungal, anti-bacterial, and it collects all your mouth germs and then you spit them out.

bonus is the lovely trippy layered tiers of half solidified - half liquid coconut oil collected in the jar!

i have been doing this for 2 months now. i can report my mouth feels terrific! i cannot attest to any other health improvements at this point, though i usually have a sore throat/ear pain at least every other week in the winter, and i have not had a hint of either since starting.  considering i spend many hours per week in the germ nest of thrift stores, and we went on a floating petri dish carnival cruise, i am pretty happy.

it seems that western science has proven oil pulling to have a positive effect on oral health, though the other hundreds of benefits have not yet been verified scientifically. i have a baby tooth - a molar that doesn't have an adult molar to push it out - and i would like to keep this baby tooth as long as possible before i need an implant. i am hoping oil pulling will at least help in this endeavor.

i will keep you all updated on this riveting oil pulling journey. i have my 6 month dentist appointment in april and i am interested to see if the hygienist can tell a difference.

at the bare minimum, it serves as a kind of meditation. for 20 minutes every day i am not talking.

as an aside: how great is talenti gelato and sorbetto? the mango is out of this world!

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

time to make the donuts

what happens when there are 3 inches of snow on the ground, the roads have not been plowed or sanded, but the court has not gotten itself together enough to declare whether it's open or closed?

you put on your suit and hike up the driveway and go to work! behold asheville's most dedicated bankruptcy lawyer.

pointing out the trail of footprints made overnight by small rodents.