Monday, April 16, 2012

automobiles, trains, and planes

newark vs manhattan

asheville cancelled their direct flights into new york, the closest you can get now is newark, which is not new york and is more shipping containers than anything.

you can still get to new york via fairly easy mass transiting, though, and you can take beer on the LIRR, and they sell a 32 oz high gravity IPA with a straw for $6.50 in penn station.

beer and pizza on the lirr

a "hot sausage" from a hot dog cart does not mean bratwurst, it means a hot dog with fiery red peppers dumped on top.

if your office bans microwaving lunch because disgusting smells and you have a window, you can make a solar cooker. 

dad's solar cooker

a woman who is not at all crazy about animals can fall in love with a dog like my furry brother henry.

drez & hen

a boy as cute and sweet as my nephew willie will be immediately bombarded by cute older girls at the park who will take him by the hand. 

will and reece holding hands 

and push him on the swings. 

will and reece swinging 

he is only a month away from turning 2, but taller than 50% of 3 year olds. the cutest little beanpole.  he likes being thrown in the air and looking at books and putting toy trucks in order. he smiles on command and eats anything you put in front of him.

my other nephew rilan is only a month old and has gained 4 pounds in that month. 2 pounds are in his cheeks. 

baby chunks blowing bubbles 

henry would like some bacon. 

henry bacon some?

 a great way to end a trip is with a bite or two of a goodbye mcgriddle. 

mcgriddle

Thursday, April 12, 2012

nursery school picture day


 i gave this vintage western shirt to my friend who has two studly boys under the age of two point five. 

she said this is the outfit he put on for his school pictures. she said he wore the shower cap because he was cold.

Monday, April 09, 2012

littering and



i haven't seen a display of littering like this since the 80's. 

830 am. 

waiting for the light to change. 

girl in maxima goes through the mcdonald's drive-thru. 

rolls down window. 

tosses out some coffee onto pavement. (okay fine). 

20 seconds later tosses out plastic cream container. (not fine) 

10 seconds later tosses out another plastic cream container. (seriously) 

10 seconds later tosses out a stirrer. (no joke)

*****

had i been a male, i would have gone up to her window and confronted her. 

as it stands, i encourage anybody who knows this girl who drives a black nissan maxima, maryland plates 9FL D49, to throw your trash on her doorstep.

just sittin here...with the chuckit in my hands...in case anybody wants to play ball...ever...


Friday, April 06, 2012

new good things



gonna get back on the blog horse from the new house with a list of good things:


1. the internet here is fast and reliable. this may seem like a small deal, but for somebody who had aggravated charter repair visits on a more-than-monthly basis for the last 2 years, this is a Big Deal.

2. the water pressure is awesome. my shower is no longer a clawfoot tub designed for a child. the plastic shower liners do not sweep in and give me unwanted mildewy hugs.


3. kid D's sweet little girl teylor
scores a soccer goal.

4. betsy's "
great list" - i love this idea. i love her attitude of gratitude. i love her link to our old friend from san diego dr. adam tibble's letter from afghanistan to anderson cooper

5. there are surprisingly good restaurants around here in east asheville. who knew? i didn't. east village grille. cafe azalea. pomodoro's (which i mistakenly thought was 1. a chain and 2. like olive garden based on their signs. note to  restauranteurs - be careful of too-slick/clean-looking marketing material!)

6. my biggest t-shirt order of all time came this week: 10 t-shirts to a girl in texas. yee haw!


7. the amaryllis in the photo re-bloomed 1.25 years later. i kept watering it and the leaves kept growing for a year and then a new shoot shot up and now BOOM giant pink flowers towering many feet in the air above the pot.


8. had a couple rugs and couches cleaned today. they look and smell like new, now with 98% less dog fur. thank you
five step carpet care

9. eli turned 8 this week. he got a big ball of raw hamburger meat. he enjoyed this. nacho got a miniball. he enjoyed his, too.

Monday, March 26, 2012

run for the river!



we have moved. it is wonderful. 

moving trucks coming this week, we camped out all weekend on an air mattress at the new place. 

happy happy river dogs. 

the tar heels lost. it was a great season.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

bonnet shores 1989



packing up boxes i came across some old photos that needed scanning. 

 i'm not going to identify the people in this picture because it's just too ridiculous, but one of them is me, and this is a normal typical scene from my childhood. 

one of these girls had just cut her own bangs with manicure scissors.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

best chant ever

don't even worry! 

we gonna make it! 

[repeat] 

2005 carolina basketball national champions, led by david noel in this fantastic chant. 

 what a way to start your day! 

don't even worry!  

we gonna make it!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

what i will miss

this view.

the buildings in front of the mountains are unc-a.

just past that is the french broad river. it's foggy in the morning.

just past that are some blue ridge mountains.

i can sit in a chair on the porch and watch weather roll in across the valley. here's a spring thunderstorm about 15 minutes away.


*****

what i will not miss:




the mudpit next door. 

there is no progress, there is no plan, it could be the greatest dog run of all time, but instead is a pit of mud. 

the construction vehicles grinding gears and beeping in reverse as dumptruck after dumptruck of dirt is delivered day after day. 

the clouds of mosquitoes from the standing water. 

*****

closing on a house friday. boxing has begun in earnest. movers come one week from today. excitement overload. 

Friday, March 16, 2012

sing alongs


the wood brothers put on a great show. 

gotta love when they call for an encore sing-a-long and the crowd is not too pretentious to oblige. 

orange peel on wednesday night such a thing happened. 

so damn heartwarming!


runnin' is useless, fightin' is foolish
you're not gonna win but still
you're the luckiest man
you're up against
too many horses
and mysterious forces
whatcha don't know is
you are the luckiest man



Thursday, March 15, 2012

dropped strawberries



newest entry into the flickr "spilled food" group 

downtown asheville last night

squirrel banquet

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

newest nephew!



rilan wallace mctammany was born on monday. 3-12-12.

he joins his big bro willie who was born on 5-10-10. i like those numbers! 

here he is meeting my dad, big popi, for the first time. 

my brother says rilan looks just like his big bro with chubbier cheeks and a big red nose - called him "a little cherub drunkie!" 

welcome to the party little rilan!

Monday, March 12, 2012

how many times can a man turn his head


Friday, March 09, 2012

commandments


if i were god (or moses) two of my commandments would be 

1. thou shalt not buy old navy pants at the goodwill 

2. thou shalt not get high and tweeze thy eyebrows

Thursday, March 08, 2012

queen of my soul



i found this at the value village in gastonia. 

i left this at the value village in gastonia. 

i would like to know:
1. how many of these were made? 
2. how many of these were sold? 
3. did anybody hang this in their house? 
4. where in their house would such a thing hang? 
5. do these people know each other?

Monday, March 05, 2012

the blow stops here



There are some guys who can return good for evil...Every brave man will think so. He will not want to live by passing on the wrath. A hit B? B hit C? -- we have not enough alphabet to cover the condition. A brave man will try to make the evil stop with him. He shall keep the blow. No man shall get it from him and that is a sublime ambition. 

- saul bellow 'henderson the rain king' 

sublime ambition indeed. keep the blow. return evil with good. don't pass on the wrath. is this humanly possible? even if it's not, it feels good to try. 

Friday, March 02, 2012

makeout not war


"A personality without a center throws up a wall and lives in a state of siege." - Tennessee Williams, "One Arm" 

you have a center. 

everybody has a center. 

it's easy to lose sight of it, but it's always there and you can close your eyes and be there in a second.

there the siege is over. 

there the voice is rational and full of love and the voice is your own. 

same as it ever was.

'the centering book' tells you to close your eyes and focus on a spot an inch or two below your belly button. send light there. send warmth there. it's yours.  


Thursday, March 01, 2012

first sign




the more positive you are, the more positive you will be.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

nacho vs. the guest pillows



could he possibly get more fur onto every single  pillow? 

no. 

at least he's comfy.

he had a traumatic experience with a dental cleaning recently, but things are looking up. i don't want to stir up trouble, but i'm interested in hearing from other people in asheville who have had awful experiences with getting their pets' teeth cleaned. maybe we were the only ones? 

if they say y




tell 'em that is human nature

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Friday, February 24, 2012

speaking of nekkid basketball



i've said before the local commercials around here are weird, but this is the latest weirdest.

it's a personal injury law firm. two older male lawyers dressed in business suits are on a high school basketball court. 

with a girl in a half shirt and tiny mini skirt. 

inexplicable. 

who is she? why is she there? is she a lawyer too? secretary? just a woman for hire? how is this related? or relevant? in any way?

sex sells. but does it sell lawyers? makes them seem lecherous and sleazy and distracted to me.

save the sluts for the beer ads, i want my lawyers in libraries.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Monday, February 20, 2012

february in chapel hill


red bud trees are already blooming. it was in the 60's and sunny

pasty legs were bared at the beautiful new baseball stadium.

february in chapel hill

we went to chapel hill for the unc vs. clemson basketball game. my brother gave us tickets for christmas. he said the seats were right behind the bench, and i knew they would be good, but i really had no idea how good.

row b

turns out row b really does mean row b. as in row 2. as in there's the players' bench, a row of chairs for the  jv team, row a and then row b. we were SO CLOSE.

close enough to hear the ref bark at leslie mcdonald 'find your seat' when he was dancing at tip-off.

close enough to hear roy williams scream at the bench after a turnover  "THAT WAS CARELESS AND CASUAL!" i plan to use this phrase in anger for the rest of my life.

black falcon made this

the black falcon made this shot, the heels won, played well, i didn't get any good pictures, other than the ones in my head, and those i will treasure always.

we followed the crowd out and somehow ended up in a room with balloons and punch bowls overflowing with brownies. score!
dont mind if i do

after the game we met up with old friends and new friends for too many drinks and dinner on franklin street.  not much has changed at all in 10 years. it was glorious.

bob the boxer & angie this is a damn shame and some more alcoholic readers may want to avert their eyes - but in classic bob-fashion, he ordered another round of drinks when nobody had finished their first ones, and then promptly left to avoid babysitter-fury when they realized the time. the extra drinks spell "bob."

bob 

this was a once-in-a-lifetime experience and i am so grateful to have a brother who made it possible!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

tree e


Monday, February 13, 2012

whitney houston

the first* real concert i ever attended was whitney houston at the providence civic center in 1986. she was unbelievable. that voice. that VOICE.

boston garden 1986

 i learned about whitney after spending much of that year in the back of a woody jeep wagoneer limited being driven back and forth between rhode island and long island. 


 we listened to her debut album "whitney houston" over and over.  and over.


it was a tape we all could agree on. (unlike lionel richie "dancing on the ceiling" which was thrown from the car window in a fit of scorn along route 95 in connecticut.) i memorized every word. the lyrics taught me all a 10 year old needed to know about love and relationships. "how will i know" "someone for me" "all at once" and of course "greatest love of all" - i feel like i LIVED these songs! in the 5th grade! 

her voice was like a damn bell. this is before auto-tune and computers, she was a huge natural talent. huge.

sorry she's gone too soon, sorry her path was a disaster, but her debut album will always have a giant place in my heart. 

*the first not-real concert i attended was rosenshontz. they were awesome and incredible in their own way.

Friday, February 10, 2012

unhatched chicken counter




the past week has been a rollercoaster of emotion. 

hopes have soared, hopes have soured, hopes have soared again, hopes have been put on hold. and on hold. and on hold. 

for reasons unknown. and unfathomed. and unfathomable. 

...

the bottom line is we hope to buy a house. on a river. really, really on a river. it's not perfect, it's not the one and only, if it falls through we are fine where we are and will be fine if we buy something else in the future. but nacho and eli have not uncrossed their paws since they heard about the river. 

we will see!

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

carolina vs. nc state: starting 5: smile ratio


all of unc basketball starting 5 headshots are smiling, some broadly.

none of nc state's are.

i wonder if it correlates to player happiness.

i wonder if it correlates to campus happiness.

i wonder if it correlates to player talent.

i wonder if it correlates to photographer's attractiveness.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

ball bouncing game




m my name is marilyn and my husband's name is merlin, we come from maryland and we sell marlin

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

hunger and whistling



i am hungry. 

for the first time in 5 days. 

which makes me ecstatic! 

i don't know if it was stomach virus, flu, or food poisoning. all i know is that i've had no appetite since last thursday. frowing up, spare you the details, bad news. my last meal was probably the culprit but since there's no way to *really* know the cause, i'm just going to look at the last thing i ate and whistle. 

[looks at picture above and whistles] [goddamn you taco truck chicken] 

this was a trick of my great late grandfather named flops. when he wanted to blame somebody, he would say "i'm not going to name any names, i'm just going to look at the person who did it and whistle." and then he would look at somebody in the room and whistle.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

i'm gonna git you worm



i babysat for a total of 1.75 hours today and felt like i deserve to funnel a case of beer and get $5000. 

how the HELL do you people with kids do it? 

how do you wash your hands while holding a baby? i was covered in milk, water, soap, baby fart medicine. after not even two hours. with one 7 month old adorable sweet boy who didn't fuss one time. not even a fuss face one time. and still i can't imagine tending to him 24/7. 

congratulations, parents! you have all my respect.

Monday, January 16, 2012

wattle?


person #1: would you like some more porter

person #2: does a fat turkey have little...gobblers hanging down from its mouth?

Saturday, January 14, 2012

happy birthday kelvin




i wish he could revert to this age for a few minutes just so i could rumple his hair and squeeze his cheeks!

***** ALSO - please head over to his website: wnc debt law - he helps people having financial trouble in western north carolina (seems to be about everybody today) and blogs often about how to f your bank before your bank f's you.  


two things i would like to share: he was a superstar pitcher in his youth and struck out a-rod with 3 pitches one time in a florida high school championship game. yes that a-rod. 3 pitches!

i have also witnessed him speak to an owl. he made an owl noise and a great owl swooped in and landed on a branch 20 feet away.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Vote for spelling bees


Monday, January 09, 2012

retriever reunion




get out your kleenex. 

golden retriever squeals with joy at seeing her mom for the first time in a year. 

her mom was in afghanistan.

Saturday, January 07, 2012

hello to you hushpuppies



luella's bbq

Thursday, January 05, 2012

vet expansion




the dogs' vet is undergoing a massive expansion. doubling in size. it was already nicer than my own doctor in there. 

on one hand i think it's great the dogs can get top notch care right around the corner. 

on the other hand, i think those fuckers must be overcharging.

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

feathery fireworks




not sure why i didn't post this in july, but here it is 6 months later.

Monday, January 02, 2012

new print available - napa valley

this image just absolutely blows me away. 




if you or somebody you know has been to napa valley and had a good time, you might need to hang this image on your wall. i think this print is incredibly beautiful and dynamic. click on it to enlarge. and get lost inside.

it is from Oakville appellation in the Napa Valley, specifically it is on Oakville Cross Road, facing Howell Mountain to the east and Mt. St. Helena to the north. The vineyards in the photo, I believe, belong to Plumpjack, Groth, and Miner. It is comprised of 28 images.

print available for extremely reasonable price. makes an unbelievable present. contact me or jay directly for more info. 

on top of the world




on top of table rock mountain. 

noon 1/1/12. 

360 views.

almost 60 degrees. 

rotisserie chicken and dogfish head beer. 

glorious way to start 2012!