nachodoggy

i decided i was being mean to people i don't know on here today, and deleted the posts about zuckerman's hands and donald trump television and here is a picture of nacho's gullet.

television

oh to be like nacho and have a brain the size of a walnut, fresh snuggies to drool on, and an everwagging tail...

i spent the majority of my adult life without a tv. which meant that i spent a lot of time online. i missed having a tv during college basketball season and that's it.

in the past couple years, the situation has changed, definitely for the better, and now there is a big screen tv in the family room and i spend a couple hours every night in front of it.

i thought it was supposed to be relaxing and turn people into unthinking zoned-out zombies. instead i often find myself anxious and yelling at the screen and hating humanity.

i love the show pawn stars. i love the real emotion and hope and validation non-actors get in selling their treasures.

i love watching sports on tv. i hate the announcers. we turn on woody durham on the radio and sync it to the tv during carolina basketball. i learn so much more about the teams that way - radio announcers kick ass. tv announcers blow hard.

last night for example the following shows stressed me out:

cash cab - while i love the true emotion of non-actors (again) i am anxious while watching it imagining if i'd been in the cab and didn't know the answers

millionaire matchmaker - the plastic surgery and shallowness was overwhelming. completely. and the loneliness. egos. delusions. uggghhh.

even the golf channel, which you would think would lull a person to peaceful rest, had a show about how donald trump strong-armed his way into polluting the northeast coast of scotland with his 'biggest' and 'best' and 'most lavish' golf course that he's building in the dunes there. he is an ass. if he wanted to appreciate the dunes and let people enjoy walking through them, he could've created a park instead of a multi-million dollar exclusive golf course in the beautiful fragile ecosystem. now if you want to walk in those dunes you'll have to pay exorbitant greens fees. and half your month's salary to stay at the fake garish castle he's renovating. america, fuck yeah!

so i guess i should just stick with pawn stars, house hunters, and unc basketball with the volume off.

skedaddling

highlights of the past week include:

- tea and crumpets (okay coffee and chocolate) with friends and their chubby babies

- a chubby 1 year old who slaps his legs instead of clapping

- a chubby 1 year old who tumbled gracefully head first into a diaper pail and didn't even cry

- corn pudding and collared greens from 12 bones

- for 4 meals in a row

- behind the scenes after hours tour of a fantastic brewery in the woods with fun friends old and new

- lap sitting in the back of a cab down the interstate

- finding a stray lace thong at our house after a party, for the second party in a row

- finger painting a mannequin flesh color

- sub-zero wind chills forcing me to stay inside

- for 4 days in a row

million dollar soup bowl idea

i would love to have soup bowls with spouts. then i could drink the soup dregs straight out of the bowl without spilling on myself or needing a bib.

you are free to take this idea and run, just please send me one.

dusting porch

welp it's snowing in asheville. it hasn't stopped snowing in asheville since last friday. no real accumulation over an inch, just icy super windy winter shit. it's so cold in the basement the olive oil froze. i put olive oil on the dogs' food as gravy and it was caked frozen onto the sides this morning. i'm so ready for april.

selling vintage clothes

i am so excited to be selling vintage clothes online again.

i love everything about this job.

i love finding the clothes at goodwill. i think of it as treasure hunting and 'saving' them.

i love taking pictures of the clothes.

i love photoshopping people's heads on the mannequin.

i love getting them to people who will love to wear them. it feels good to wear your favorite clothes!

i started a store on etsy, as opposed to ebay or starting a site of my own. the fees are reasonable, i like how it looks, it's simple to add new shirts, they allow buyers to pay with checks, money orders, and cash, not just paypal, and they have a 'vacation mode' where i can close the shop for any amount of time and go away.

the top shelf from vintage vantage will eventually be listed in the etsy shop. as soon as the boxes arrive and i can list them.

i love working!

here's a link to the shop - skippy haha vintage on etsy

eating while driving

Faster Food, originally uploaded by FaceMePLS.

i started a group on flickr called "Eating while Driving" and there are 25 pictures added already from people all over the globe.

click to see: Eating while Driving

apple cider vinegar

i think apple cider vinegar is a miracle elixir.

i had a sore throat swollen gland the size of a golf ball and achy feeling starting wednesday night. i drank apple cider vinegar yesterday and today my throat is 95% perfect.

1-2 Tablespoons raw unfiltered apple cider vinegar
squeeze of honey
cup of hot water
mix and drink 2-4 times a day

as soon as i start to feel even the slightest twinge of getting sick i do this.

eat as much garlic (raw) as i can, along with local raw honey, ginger, and lemons. all day long i drink combinations of these 4 things mixed with hot water.

yesterday i got chicken noodle soup and added a few cloves of chopped raw garlic.

i squeeze lemon on everything.

i dip a q-tip in rubbing alcohol and clean my ears.

i haven't had a full blown cold or flu in 3 years. knock on wood. i get the swollen glands and kill the bugs with apple cider vinegar, and feel better in a day.

acv will also remove a wart. dip a q-tip in acv, cut off the end of the qtip and put it on the wart and cover it with a bandaid. air it out when you sleep, replace with a new acv qtip tip in the morning. within 3 days the wart will turn black. within a week it will fall off like a scab. poof! gone!

asheville beat tape vol. 1 from skew records

press release from skew records:

In a clearing surrounded by mountains a distinctive sound rings out. This sound is the imaginative echo of the Asheville electronic music scene. It's a sound that has been growing rapidly within this mountain community, where an ever-growing artist population constantly pushes the variety of musical production through the envelope.

The idea for an Asheville Beat Tape came from Nigel One, a long-time DJ and producer who has been involved in Asheville's electronic music scene since the early 2000's. Soon after joining forces with Skew Records, Nigel decided to spearhead the idea of bringing some of the surrounding talent together to form an Asheville Beat Tape. After a month's time, Nigel had collected a multitude of tracks from area producers, and brought on Skew producers Peripheral and DM Stair to help artfully and seamlessly arrange the tracks into order. The result is a 45-minute mix of inspiring production and composition styles.

The Beat Tape consists of a variety of artists such as Two Fresh, Moving Temple, Mother Hood of RBTS WIN, Peripheral, DJ Bowie, DM Stair, and Mingle of Paper Tiger, all performers at Moogfest this past Halloween weekend. Other producers include Nigel One, Marley Carroll of Melanaster Records, Bookworm and Jables from Labcoat, SYS-HEX, d:Raf, KimathiM, Wuchinow, and ProFlogik of Skew Records.

Nigel One and the collective of area producers have started accepting entries for Volume 2, which will include other artists that did not appear on Volume 1. Stay tuned this winter for more information on mix tape and individual artist releases from Skew Records.

 

Asheville Beat Tape Vol. 1 by Skew Records

download or stream and pretty soon you will be dancing like this -

nacho's first day - july 2003

how did i not eat him?

political confusion

are they right wing or left wing? all i can tell is they are wing nuts of some kind.

OBAMA

These United State of America

Judeo -Christian

We allow Heathens to Worship in Peace

In God we Trust

AGITATING

COMMUNIST

OBAMAS
RADICAL

NUTS

Oath Keepers

Let Georgia Vote

Hunter Safety System

Sheer Panic

here comes nacho cottontail

went down to tallahassee florida for a wonderful thanksgiving this weekend. it was 60-80 degrees and sunny 90% of the time. glorious!

we went to the florida-florida state football game saturday afternoon. we bought tickets outside from a referee (he was in his uniform) who said they were on the 50 yard line, but they were really on the goal line. the pregame was amazing. pomp and pageantry. chief osceola- a fake seminole on a palomino with a flaming spear.

people were serious about the tailgating. the only jacket i had with me happened to be gator blue and i got some unwanted attention from that. friendly drunken gator fans tried to get me to cheer with them but i didn't know the words. but now i do.

IT'S GREAT

TO BE

A FLORIDA GATOR!

it was cold in the shade and we left during the first quarter.

we ate at shell oyster bar downtown tallahassee.

best raw oysters i've had maybe ever. they were so cold and salty and fresh. there are no windows in the restaurant but it's AWESOME. my dad would love it.

nacho and eli were pretty good. nacho was scared of the two year old. she is very sweet and did nothing to antagonize him - he's never been around toddlers and didn't know what to do. so he jumped in place and barked. bad dog. eli pushed himself too hard chasing tennis balls and hurt his leg which had him hobbling badly one night, but it miraculously healed by the next morning. he's taking it easy.  they spent time with rosie, the black lab who would have been a great bitch for holden. this picture captures their personalities pretty well.

good times!

i hope everybody had warm safe bountiful weekends.

this how Nacho Doggy get his name!

happy thanksgiving you all!

it's bound to take your life

god wake and baked and exhaled over the asheville valley, combined with a sunrise and a moonrise.

Brett Dennen - The Holidays Are Here & We're Still At War

i've posted this before in 2008, but as you may know, the holidays are back again and we're still at war.

Pilgrims in the parking lot

Arteries clogged with blood clots

Pushing through the aisles of department stores

Neon crosses and Christmas lights

Credit card debts and brand new bikes

The holidays are here and we're still at war

The rabbi reads from the testament

The banker gazes at the year's investments

Salvation santa's solicit for the poor

Deception of democracy

The philanderings of faux foreign policy

The holidays are here and we're still at war

Smoggy skies and fixed elections

Injustice strikes from all directions

People with their backs against the floor

Looking for someone to set us free

A king with fists like Mohammad Ali

The holidays are here and we're still at war

A mother knows what is best for you

Even though it's hard to listen

Your father knows he can count on you

Though you couldn't count on him

Christopher Columbus knew

Vasco De Gama and Magellan too

The profits of oppression grow like never before

All hail to the captalist thief

And mourn your lost ones and covet our grief

The holidays are here and we're still at war

Hurricane waters ravage southern towns

And black and brown people are left to drown

While the White House and the emergency management agency ignores

Victims seek shelter in the Astrodome

And the National Guard says 'Don't go home'

The holidays are here and we're still at war

Police officers hassle the homeless

Domestic disputes, alcohol and violence

The jailhouse opens wide its door

A corporation cuts a million employees

And the factory is moving overseas

The holidays are here and we're still at war

A mother knows what is best for you

Even though it's hard to listen

Your father knows he can count on you

Though you couldn't count on him

Jesus sheds another tear

Into a sea of two thousand years

Into the eve of a new year once more

Tears of joy, resolutions of sorrow

Toast to health and wealth tomorrow

The holidays are here and we're still at war

Religious wars and domination

World trade and globalization

The prices of petroleum soar

Lonesome churches are packed with sinners

Non-believers and new beginners

The holidays are here and we're still at war

Say a prayer for the less fortunate

Prisoners and soldiers you never have met

Understand what it is they're fighting for

Say a prayer for your enemies

Say a prayer for the victims and their families

The holidays are here and we're still at war

Yes, the holidays are here and we're still at war

Sesame Street: Paul Simon Sings Me & Julio

you can dance dance!

this little girl is too cute.

the long and winding road

that leads to your door
will never disappear

alive alert awake enthusiastic

alive alert awake

awake alert alive

alive alert awake enthusiastic

(CLAP CLAP!)

5 Nut peanut! 5 Nut peanut!

in the world of roasted peanuts, there are many 2 and 3 nut peanuts. the vast majority have 2 or 3 nuts inside.

then there are way too many 1 nut peanuts. so much work for so little reward.

very rarely will i find a good 4 nut peanut. i am always grateful when i do.

i have heard of the mystical 5 nut peanut, but until last night never really believed they existed. kevin swore he had one a couple months ago, but then squirrelled the nuts into his mouth too fast before i could do a proper accounting.

but last night it all came together and i reached in the bowl and pulled out a real live 5 NUT PEANUT!

5 NUT PEANUT! 5 NUT PEANUT!

i feel like meryl streep in adaptation hunting the white ghost orchid. or ahab in moby dick hunting humps like snowhills.

it's a great feeling!


*****


EDIT: just checked wikipedia ("peanut") and now i believe this peanut really was a wonder of nature! they don't even acknowledge the fact that 5 seed pods EXIST!

The fruits have wrinkled shells that are constricted between pairs of the one to four (usually two) seeds per pod.

noble deeds perform

“Nor grain, nor wealth, nor store of gold and silver,
Not one amongst his women-folk and children,
Nor slave, domestic, hired man,
Nor any one that eats his bread,
Can follow him who leaves this life,
But all things must be left behind.

“But every deed a man performs,
With body, or with voice, or mind,
’Tis this that he can call his own,
This with him take as he goes hence.
This is what follows after him,
And like a shadow ne’er departs.

“Let all, then, noble deeds perform,
A treasure-store for future weal;
For merit gained this life within,
Will yield a blessing in the next.”

- Good and Bad Karma, II. The Doctrine, Translated from the Samyutta-Nikya, Buddhist Writings.
The Harvard Classics. 1909–14.

kelsey in a chair

it is with sad fingers i report last week's passing of mappycamper's sweet, smart, calm, submissive, beautiful, faithful companion kelsey dog of goleta.

she lived a FULL 15.5 years and gave much joy and peace to all those who met her. she was a princess but not fussy. she sat in chairs and observed while the riff raff sniffed butts.

2010 was a tough year for furry friends. i believe kelsey is now running through a heavenly field with holden and yoshi. according to the very wise trevor garrod of tea leaf green, if that's what makes you happy, it doesn't matter if it's true.

at the same time, i have to welcome to the world SO MANY new babies! there have been 6 new arrivals in the past 2 months, and all the babies are healthy and thriving and adorable. and all the moms are healthy and thriving and adorable too.

i love the sweet unusual girls' names my friends have used - there's twins keira and marla leen, leila sacks, and selah raleigh. aren't they just lyrical wonders?

then there's the boys - emmitt glidewell and yesterday's addition jack radey. maybe not as lyrical, but definitely catchy. and catchy names correspond to success in life.

cocoa dregs

coffee + cocoa powder + honey = something almost worth getting out of bed for

i need a lot sleep. at least 9 hours. NEED it. always have. i could sleep 12 hours a night no problem.

i am at my meanest and nastiest if i feel like i am being woken up too early for no good reason. i was always the last one to get up at slumber parties. kids would be running around at sunrise and i'd put my pillow over my head and silently curse them all. luckily i am a very heavy sleeper.

i am not hungry in the morning and don't care about missing breakfast.

now that it's dark so early, i feel like going to bed at 7PM, and i am so grateful that i can do that sometimes.

maybe i'm just a chronically depressed brat, but really i feel a million times better when i've slept half the day.

happy national peanut butter month!

gonna have to face it - you're addicted to peanut butter

the forest glen inn

the forest glen inn was my house.

i was 9 years old and had been living in new york - huntington, long island, for about 2 years and we had many many visitors friends and family from rhode island stay in the guest room during that time.

it was mainly my grandparents - flops & drez - and the revens. 

i painted a wooden sign and put it in the driveway when guests were coming. i made that flyer on print shop and colored it in. i made comment sheets and did turndown service. this was the first comment sheet that i typed on my dad's old real typewriter.

drezza easter weekend 1986:

after this, i typed one and my dad brought it to work and made copies for me.

revens 1987:

at this point i seem to have charged my grandma for some lavender crap someone gave me: 

i never worked in a real hotel

nun on a giant bike

i took the lazoom purple bus tour of asheville for the third time this weekend and it's always a great time.

you learn a lot of asheville trivia, this time they gave out prizes for people who could answer questions.

i answered this one:

asheville has more art deco buildings downtown than any US city other than ____.

(miami)

i won a can of powdered mountain gorilla for answering this correctly. i haven't opened the can but it sounds like soup.

the most enjoyable part for me is probably waving to strangers on the street and seeing them wave back. it was a gorgeous afternoon and everybody on the street (and on the bus) was smiling.

we also saw a guy get hit by a frisbee in montford.

the tour starts in front of the french broad food co-op, and you are allowed to bring drinks on the bus. the FBFC sells serving-size bottles of screw-top prosecco (italian champagne) for $2, and i thought it was a great combination.

what would cause your carpal tunnel?

i do not have carpal tunnel. and for that i am grateful. my MOM had tendinitis in her thumbs that required surgery from playing so much bridge and shuffling cards. if i did develop carpal tunnel, it would most likely come from opening roasted peanuts. i can't get enough of these things- it must be part of my squirrel heritage.

another possible cause of my nonexistent carpal tunnel would be the game minesweeper. i have gone through phases where i played that game 8 hours a day. usually while procrastinating from studying. 

air kicks

kick the crap out of your day!

heee ya!

nothing's ever gonna stand in my way again!

purple mountains majesty

sunrise this morning. daylight spendings.

dishpan boobs

don't call what you're wearin an outfit

in honor of "day in the life of one girl" and all her cute, creative outfits - here is what i wear on a daily basis during the winter. 30 year old hoodies, 10 year old sweatpants. usually for 2 days at a time. and usually matching the banner of this website.

i feel clammed up about things to post here lately, so instead i'll direct your attention to other sites i find fun to visit.

betsylife has good recipes and upbeat musings from sun diego. also cute dogs.

the bugg blog has dramatic heartfelt posts about local asheville bloggers and politicos. also cute dogs.

the blue blog has descriptive and insightful posts about friends on a journey adventure from santa barbara to find their place in the pacific northwest. i am living vicariously through tyler's words as i also entertain the notion of moving to portland, seattle, and bellingham during some future era of my life. 

hyperbole and a half is completely freakin hilarious. that's not hyperbolic. 

here's a link to the drive-by truckers song "outfit" - link

You want to grow up to paint houses like me, a trailer in my yard till you're 23
You want to be old after 42 years, keep dropping the hammer and grinding the gears


Well, I used to go out in a Mustang, a 302 Mach One in green.
Me and your Mama made you in the back and I sold it to buy her a ring.
And I learned not to say much of nothing and I figured you already know
but in case you don’t or maybe forgot, I’ll lay it out real nice and slow


Don’t call what your wearing an outfit. Don’t ever say your car is broke.
Don’t worry about losing your accent, a Southern Man tells better jokes.
Have fun but stay clear of the needle. Call home on your sister’s birthday.
Don’t tell them you’re bigger than Jesus, don’t give it away.


Six months in a St. Florian foundry, they call it Industrial Park.
Then hospital maintenance and Tech School just to memorize Frigidaire parts.
But I got to missing your Mama and I got to missing you too.
So I went back to painting for my old man and I guess that’s what I’ll always do


So don’t try to change who you are boy, and don’t try to be who you ain’t.
And don’t let me catch you in Kendale with a bucket of wealthy-man’s paint.


Don’t call what your wearing an outfit. Don’t ever say your car is broke.
Don’t sing with a fake British accent. Don’t act like your family’s a joke.
Have fun, but stay clear of the needle, call home on your sister’s birthday.
Don’t tell them you’re bigger than Jesus, Don’t give it away.


Don’t give it away

chub rolls

miracle cure for all that ails you.

ooey gooey roots of jealousy

i want you to love
me and only me
forever and today
and forever
only me

humping for joy

eyebrow whiskers

all natural, no mascara.

for that baby seal effect.

farmers market car trunk nap with dalmation puppychild

clowny overbite

nacho and eli got great reviews at their annual checkup this week. eli needs to go on a diet - he's gained 10 lbs in the past year. nacho started antihistamines to see if it will make him less itchy, and his skin less pink. he was scratching like crazy this summer and i never found any fleas on him, i think it was the mosquitoes but i'm not sure. we'll see if the antihistamines help.

morning has broken

my friend michelle had a perfect baby girl this morning. this makes 4 baby girls born to good friends of mine in the past 2 weeks. last january must've been extra cold. found out 3 more friends are with child this week. it's nonstop procreation around here!

i am so happy for all of them, but now more than ever i feel this way.

what a weekend

went down to charleston friday for the phish show.

had ridiculously good lunch at hometown bbq and then walked on the beach before the show.

met some friends & had a blast in the coliseum. it was packed and the crowd is like performance art - jumping in sync with the light show in sync with the band.

went to clemson last night & saw bob dylan for the first time from 15 yards away. 3rd row dead fuckin center. he's still got it.

also HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD! 

backgammon

i remember 'playing' backgammon in the 70's-80's when i was less than 7 years old.

i haven't played since, but my interest has been revived in the last month and i must say i enjoy playing this game.

if you 'put me in jail' and send one of my chips to the center bar when you could have moved other chips in other equally good ways, i may take it personally and not speak to you the rest of the game and for some time thereafter.

runs like nitwit

nacho's indian name.

he hops and gallops. nothing smooth about the gait. like a polar bunny.

exploding cameras

they reaaaaaaally don't want you to put another kind of battery in there.

when flaffy poop

he likes to chew the toys, but he is no chewing them, he's peeing on them.

he mark alllll the place in the house and where flaffy poop outside or inside he just running in circle

and after that sometimes i said he just step all in the poop and he making a mess

airplane etiquette

1. if you have the window or aisle seat, do not take the middle armrest.
2. if you sneeze, cover your mouth with your arm or a tissue
3. if you shoot snot out of your mouth or nose when you sneeze, don't wipe your hands on the tray table/wall
4. do not eat 6 oz. of curry before boarding

all that's left

he went to pick up ashes
of my dog who's dead
ten days since i mohawked
the fur on his soft head

the IV tube stuck in his arm
on which he laid his chin
i said goodbye my sweet sweet pet
i'll see you soon again

it sucks that i was lying
i thought he would be fine
his insides tangled dying
his outsides showed no sign

the saddest part is over
it can't hurt any worse
time will work its magic
only blessing no more curse

giant poplar

went out to joyce kilmer memorial forest this week to be amongst the OOOLD trees.

joyce kilmer was a poet and WWI soldier who died at age 31. he wrote the poem 'trees' - it starts: i think that i shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree.

he had the same name as my MOM - joycie!

a logging company went bankrupt in the early 1900s and prevented the area from being clearcut so there are some GIANT poplars out there. there are some giant hemlocks too, but those are dead now from the wooly adelgids.

circle

there was a baby shower/blessingway here yesterday. in the middle of the rainiest day in the past 6 months. onesies were decorated, the 4 directions were called, inspirational cards were shared, champagne was drink drank drunk, babies were fed, wigs were worn, flowers were everywhere, lemon pound cake was eaten, the strength of michelle was reinforced and celebrated.