native area

some parts of the grove park inn golf course are marked with this sign: native area.

as opposed to what?

settler's area?

are they talking about going native like my brother and i did at lion country safari in 1984?

lazy logos

the washington nationals logo looks too much like the walgreens logo.

the amtrak logo looks too much like the bank of america logo.

if you ask me.

july

probably time to switch the calendar from june now that this month is already 1/3 over. yowzas.

i filled this weekend with stuff that white people like.

garage saling, i found 2 70's shirts and a stretch belt that says 'jeans jeans jeans jeans' all over it.

farmers marketing, i got the honey walnut goat cheese and the olive tapenade and the trout jerky.

hiking, i walked with dogs in woods.

eating, i had seared duck breast in blackberry sauce from a strip mall italian restaurant.

drinking, i had white wine out of a box (not bad, tastes like peaches) and tons of peppermint sun tea.

exploring, i drove through an orphanage that has a golf course.

stretching, i did some yoga videos. 'yoga for athletes.' having done no yoga in 10 years, it's coming back slooooowly but feels great. i can totally see how it's addictive, what a rush.

dog-parenting, i yelled at some pups who ruined a salsa celebration by counter-surfing the bag of blue corn chips off the counter. 

all in all, solid A.

the four dogmen of the furpocalypse

one is a dogwoman. (maizey the fluffy golden retriever on the left.)

the more retrivers the merrier!

bus stop removal notice

 

as if a bus stop removal notice weren't ghetto enough, it is affixed with duct tape. way to go asheville transit. 

squirrel tidbits

highlights of this week included:

finding this nut-eating golf-playing squirrel fake-collared sweatshirt at goodwill. he has a rhinestone eye.

going to see a week-old baby. he was probably smaller than this squirrel. the whole time i was there he was sleeping, healthy, and pink.

watching kevin compose an ode to holden on a terrible dented manual typewriter - "The Bowels of Heaven"

ALSO one of the people in the following photo will be doing 5 minutes of stand-up comedy next tuesday july 5 at the magnetic field in asheville's river arts district. (event link here.)

i consider stand up comic to be the scariest job in existence. i would rather change the light bulbs on top of bridges.

happy 4th of july! hope your bombs burst in air.

globular truth & wisdom

"from time to time, the world does change."

i bought a sweet new globe and i love this insert that came with it - so true. and it's a great program replogle is running -- if, no WHEN, the world does change, i can get in touch with them and they will sell me a new globe for 50% off.

i have learned a lot already by studying the globe. i had no idea australia was so far from the UK. opposite side of the earth. must have been hell on those debtors.

also, the pacific ocean is not small. 

do your part!

this was on the ground next to an apartment complex dumpster.

i am the first to agree with "one man's trash is another man's treasure."

i respect the enthusiasm and the sentiment. it's fairly judgy/preachy and greener than thou, however, and i doubt anybody will take heed.

the 'habitat for humanities' bit makes me smile.

pomegranates

it's 6500 miles from chile to asheville. how fresh can they be?

before - after

pretty effective way to advertise, here. never saw anything like this before.

solstice

here it is. the longest day of the year. i am trying my best not to be sad about it (they're only getting darker) and instead to live in the moment and appreciate the fact that it's still light at 9pm, and will be for a couple more weeks.

i am typing amidst a summer squall, it's pouring rain, i hear thunder, and i also see the sun over the valley less than a mile away. dynamic.

baby bonanza

it really seems like every one of my best friends and family has a baby under the age of 3 right now. it's wild how they all have such different personalities and styles, in line with their parents' personalities of course. though they are spread out across the country, i would love to get them all together. especially in like 13 years.

two more tots joined the party this week, and if you ask me they look like tough little cookielets. and perfect prom dates in 2027!

introducing...finley!

and...lucas!

muchos adorables, no?

ethical half fry

imagine yourself at a baseball game.

you are sharing a basket of fries with someone you love.

it comes down to the last fry.

it's a big fry.

cliff hanger

hiking with nacho yesterday, the river was raging and full. it's hard to keep him out of the water. i tried to get him positioned in front of the rapids for a picture and said "Sit" and he sat and fell in a hole.

he was cool with it.

i wish i were more like nacho. i would have freaked out, fallen backwards and cracked my skull and spine and died. which seems like an okay way to go sometimes. better than stomach cancer. 

he also saw a cairn. and became mildly over excited.

My Potato Project; The Importance of "Organic"

which potato would you rather eat?

lunch time on middle school day at the tourists game

throngs of tweens

from different schools

not much beer

no good hot dogs

new color scheme

90 in the shade

only kids could sit in the shade

broiling in the sun

peanuts

t-shirt launcher

positive momentum

party sombrero

yesterday was nacho's birthday. he has been hopping all over this world for 8 years now.

he ate some hamburger with bacon and tomato.

he has a new hero that he found on the internet - a bitch named taffy. she is 19 years old. she goes to his vet. nacho would like to live another 11 years too.

happy birthday nacho supreme!

many vaguely dirty words...and where's the vineyard?

Behind the Radio Tragedy!

sweet, exciting, insightful recent video here. new album coming out next week.

http://tealeafgreen.com

fresh death

the houston astros uniforms used to be incredible. orange and gold 'comet trails' - the height of awesomeness.

now they are awful. they look like eastern bloc prison uniforms. could not be blander.

wtf?

el chapala

there's a mexican place in asheville where the waiters are fast & friendly and call you 'amigos.'

it's hidden behind a steinmart and there are no signs to find it.

the food is what you would expect. the tacos a la parilla are an amazing deal for $2 you get 2 white corn tortillas and meat and a big bowl of fresh pico de gallo.

the best part is they really know how to "celabrate." with 34 oz dos equis mugs and a half a bottle of wine in each goblet.

viva!

purple hearts

from betsylife i learned that memorial day is not happy.

nevertheless, highlights of this weekend included:

• planting herbs
• marcos pizza
• getting a new tennis racquet that is bigger and wider and therefore easier to hit and playing on har-tru court
• dozens of dog barf episodes
• both dogs
• eating grass
• in the car
• walking through clouds of flies in the woods past beautiful rushing water
• economy size wine

andrews not geyser

while in old fort over the weekend, we followed signs to 'andrew's geyser.'

wikipedia sayeth:

A geyser is a spring characterized by intermittent discharge of water ejected turbulently and accompanied by a vapor phase (steam). Generally all geyser field sites are located near active volcanic areas, and the geyser effect is due to the proximity of magma.

i was interested to see what kind of phenomenal natural water spout could possibly be found around here.

something like so? -

or like so? -

?

?


?


or how about something more like so:

this is andrew's geyser. it's a hose. a fountain that was made by the hands of men. it makes me want to cry.

may showers

we don't get real tornadoes in asheville but we do get huge thunder and lightning storms.

new orleans house bursting with plants

dangling tornado wreckage

(via weather.com)

When a tornado warning has been issued, you may have very little time to prepare.

How you respond now is critical. And how you react depends on where you are.

In a Frame Home

• Make sure you have a portable radio, preferably a NOAA weather radio, for information.

• Seek shelter in the lowest level of your home (basement or storm cellar). If there is no basement, go to an inner hallway, a smaller inner room, or a closet. Keep away from all windows.

• You can cushion yourself with a mattress, but do not use one to cover yourself. Do cover your head and eyes with a blanket or jacket to protect against flying debris and broken glass. Don't waste time moving mattresses around.

• Keep your pet on a leash or in a carrier.

• Multiple tornadoes can emerge from the same storm, so do not go out until the storm has passed.

• Do not leave a building to attempt to "escape" a tornado.

In a Mobile Home

• Leave your mobile home immediately and take shelter elsewhere.

Outside

• Try to get inside and seek a small protected space with no windows.

• Avoid large-span roof areas such as school gymnasiums, arenas, or shopping malls.

• If you cannot get inside, crouch for protection beside a strong structure, or lie flat in a ditch or low-lying area and cover your head and neck with your arms or a piece of clothing.

In a Car

• Ideally, you should avoid driving when tornadoes or other kinds of dangerous weather threaten, because a vehicle is a very unsafe place to be. If, however, this is not possible, stay as calm as possible, and assess the situation.

• Your best option might be to get out of the car and lie flat in a ditch or other low-lying area that is sufficiently deep enough to protect against the wind.

• If you do so, beware of water runoff from heavy rain that could pose a hazard; get as far away from the vehicle as possible and shield your head from flying debris.

• Or, if possible, take shelter immediately in a nearby building.

http://www.weather.com/ready/tornado/warning.html

baby fresh roll

all my friends' babies born in the past year all have giant blueberry eyes. it's uncanny!

you don't need teeth to eat noodles.

happy birthday drezza & rose

since the world hasn't ended, i will keep blogging.

yesterday was the birthday of my awesome grandma named Drezza.

it was also almost* the birthday of a sweet ebony bitch named Rose.

they are both lovely and very pleasant to be around and i wish they lived closer to me.

* rose turned 13 on 5-10.

dogwood

there's a tree on the side of the house that hasn't bloomed since we've been here. but from the bark and the leaves i thought it was dogwood.

dogwood is the state flower of north carolina.

since the 10 giant dead carolina hemlocks were cut down 2 weeks ago, the dogwood started getting hours more direct sunlight and it bloomed. it's blooming now. this excites me.

i can't be the only one

this giant phallic symbol rock is situated on probably the 'nicest' street in all of asheville - evelyn.

big old houses, manicured lawns, back yards on the grove park country club.
i would like to know who put this rock here and what they were thinking.

mountain laurel mexican skirts under a glass dancefloor

will turned 1 year

amidst all the travel and bustle i neglected to mention that my amazing little nephew Will survived his first year on this earth.

we sent him the book "DOG" on recommendation from the mappy camper.

angela sent this phone-photo the next day saying "Will took his doggie book out totally independently and is reading it while I fold the laundry!"

not only is he an animal-lover, and super intelligent, would you just look at how balanced and graceful he is in his reading stance! i predict big things for this one. happy birthday Will!

winky

a fish will not eat another fish's eyeball on a hook as bait.

our unbelievable fishing streak (first cast teddy caught 2 on the double hook of the one line) was disrupted after an unfortunate unhooking incident (we threw all the fish back) in which one fish (winky) left an eyeball dangling on one hook of a 2-hook rig. even with good bait (sand fleas/shrimp) on the bottom hook, the fish did not bite this line again until the eyeball was removed.

nicest beach i've ever seen

i was back in the so-called redneck riviera this week.

i was there last year exactly when the deepwater oil spill started. there were no visible effects whatsoever.

in fact, i said it's the most beautiful beach i've ever been to. i've been to many beaches in

rhode island
long island
palm beach
puerto rico
outer banks
wrighstville
down to
kiawah
key west
los cabos
sea island
nice
marbella
kaikura
bondi
ventura
san diego
santa barbara
santa cruz
kauai
cadaqués

and the powder sugar sand and clear coke bottle glass green water and uncrowdedness of the beach at watersound on the gulf of mexico in the florida panhandle makes it my favorite.

we caught some relatively big fish variously referred to as whiting and ladyfish. saw a shark and some rays. dolphins playing because all dolphins do is play. somebody saw a killer whale but he was only 4 so...

it's a fantastic place to have a fantastic vacation.

i flew back to asheville direct on vision airlines. my ticket cost $59, but if you book early enough fares are $39 one way. the plane had relatively big leather seats, and two rows of three. it left on time and they gave us big bags of pretzels. full size bags like at supermarket cash registers. i was impressed and would fly with them again in a second.

kisses scoobs

if you put your face up to the screen he will licky you.

("i must licky you" asheville police department scandal explanation in mountain xpress)

asheville chainsaw massacre

next on the agenda in the never-ending house rental repair saga: chopping down the half dozen giant dead carolina hemlocks in the back yard.

this involves cutting down the power and cable lines for 3 days.

this involves making me crazy.

thank you wooly adelgid.

i am trying to be flexible and flowing. instead i feel like a scabby bitter clot of anger.

i am thankful for public libraries and their free wi-fi.

please note the paint peeling off the house, bare wood exposed. also the piece of wood the roofers nailed to the clapboard last week and didn't remove.

these tree guys are amazing. they have no fear of heights or falling. or lightning. 10 minutes after this photo was taken a HUGE thunderstorm rolled through. it was already gusting hard and starting to hail at this point. and they were up there in the sky just chopping away.

crazy people lined up down the block for pieces of fried dough at cafe du monde

cafe du monde.

i mean really! they're little donuts! all hours of the day there was a block-long line.
we went at midnight and walked right up.