Showing posts with label vintage t-shirts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vintage t-shirts. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 07, 2014

all i really needed to know about religion i learned from a t-shirt


this vintage 1990 t-shirt has to be the most concise and brilliant summary of comparative religion in existence:


https://www.etsy.com/listing/205544444/vintage-t-shirt-religions-sht-happens


Taoism: Shit Happens
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Buddhism: It is only the illusion of shit happening.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Jehovah's Witness: Knock Knock. Shit happens.
Atheism: There is no such thing as shit.
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens -- and maybe it doesn't.
Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder.
Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to me?
Televangelism: Send money or shit will happen to you.
Rastafarianism: Smoke that shit.
Unitarianism: Who gives a shit?

Wednesday, October 01, 2014

WTF Wednesday - Spooning Horses, Sexy Jesus, Butts


Hello Wednesday! Hola WTF! Time to check out some crazy human creations!

First off, here is a ready-to-frame fine art print.



ummmmm?

WTF?!

Moving right along, here we find a sculpture simply called "My Friend." 


a fez-wearing shriner holds a squirming little crippled boy on his lap. The boy's crutches are on one side, a dog on the other.

 
WTF!?
I apologize for the blurriness of this picture, but please feast your eyes on Sexy Jesus. Wet hair tousled, knowing smirk, glimmer in his eye. If not full on Sexy Jesus, at least Soap Opera Jesus. 


WTF?!

Next up, how about some horses in a very unnatural position? I am not a horse person, but I don't think they actually sit like this.


It would be a lot cooler if they did. WTF?!

Last but not least, please check out this 3.5 minute animation by our friend Guadalajara Joe that could leave you bemused, confused, and amused.  "Kickin' It in Coalinga" - "Gayle must save Aunt Fitzgerald from a big scary shark by getting a job to get enough money to save her!"






As with all wtf wednesdays, there are no answers, only questions leading to more questions.

For more vintage wtf wonders (for sale), click here: vintage wtf

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Easy Funny Vintage Halloween Costumes


The world does not need another Sexy Black Cat this Halloween. Be different! Be funny! Be comfortable!

1. Be a Physics Team Coach. (wear goggles, carry magnets).


http://www.skippyhaha.com/shop/physics-teacher-coach-wtf-tee/


2.  Be Owner of the World's Cutest Cat. (carry stuffed animal, or real animal, or photo album).


https://www.etsy.com/listing/167657865/t-shirt-vintage-80s-owner-of-worlds


3. Be a Chop Stix Express Delivery Person. (wear an Asian hat and carry a box of chow mein).


4. Be Michael Jackson from "Beat It"  (no one wants to be defeated).




5. Be a Brand New Grandma.


https://www.etsy.com/listing/196492106/vintage-90s-t-shirt-brand-new-grandma


6. Be a Beauty Pageant Contestant. (wear a big wig and a tiara, carry a dozen carnations).




7. Be a Senior Olympian - Elderly athlete in the Haywood County Senior Games: (green) 


https://www.etsy.com/listing/166085803/vintage-70s-t-shirt-haywood-county


and/or red for a two person cosutme:


https://www.etsy.com/listing/170905091/vintage-70s-t-shirt-haywood-county


8. Be a Concessions Monitor (check/take everybody's drinks).


https://www.etsy.com/listing/69046415/vintage-80s-chesapeake-jubilee


9. Be an Oscar Mayer Hot Dog salesperson. (carry a bag of buns).




10. Be a Mall Walker (Wear wind pants and wrist weights). (Another one available here for a funny 2 person costume).


https://www.etsy.com/listing/163689427/vintage-tee-shirt-80s-soft-mall-walkers


11. Be a Football Quarterback.


http://www.skippyhaha.com/shop/70s-football-jersey-quarterback/


12. Be the Captain and Admiral of the "Breezy" yacht. Easy funny Two Person Halloween Costume:

These costumes are easy, quick, cheap, comfortable, and reusable, and it won't take you 10 minutes to remove them to take a piss.

Happy Halloween!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

WTF Wednesday: Sassy Souse, Neuticles, Safari Teddy


Hello Wednesday, hello WTF!

If you tuned in last week, you may remember reference to livermush, and a livermush festival.

  
Perusing my grocer's freezer, I happened upon an entire section of liver loaves and was intrigued by its neighbor named "Souse." 

Marketed as "Sassy Souse." Upon investigation, it's also known as head cheese. I cannot imagine a more disgusting food label than "head cheese." I can see why they are going with "souse" instead.



 It seems to contain, pork, pork tongues, pork hearts, pork skins, a bunch of carcinogenic preservatives, pickles, and wheat gluten. Fully cooked, ready to eat, a delicious sandwich meat.

WTF?!

 Moving right along to dog balls. Neuticles (slogan: "It's like nothing ever changed.") are prosthetic testicle implants that you can get for your male dog when he is neutered. There are some hazy allegations that they may help the dog's self esteem, but the main purpose seems to be the owners like the way they look, and owners who would not neuter because they want their dog to have balls, will now neuter and implant these fake balls instead.

As if that weren't WTF enough already, they sell neuticle-related items like...earrings. Dog ball implant earrings. 



WTF?!

Ending on a more vintage note, here's a late 80s to early 90s crop top half t-shirt with a Jeep Wrangler-driving, pith helmet-wearing Teddy bear on African safari. 

https://www.etsy.com/listing/203745873/80s-vintage-half-t-shirt-safari-teddy


It's a size XL and in glorious condition.

WTF?!

As with all wtf wednesdays, there are no answers, only questions leading to more questions.

For more vintage wtf wonders (for sale), click here: vintage wtf

Saturday, September 13, 2014

things that are hooked


Check out this amazing 70's vintage authentic $25,000 Pyramid Game Show t-shirt I posted last night to Etsy.


https://www.etsy.com/listing/203302961/vintage-70s-t-shirt-25000-dollar-pyramid


Be a Winner!


https://www.etsy.com/listing/203302961/vintage-70s-t-shirt-25000-dollar-pyramid


Dick Clark is a superhero.




This lady is also a superhero!



Jumping group hugs!

This shirt came to me via Super Allison at Robin Egg Surprise Vintage.


Thursday, September 04, 2014

Behind the T-shirt: I Heard That


This one goes out to the two older gentlemen who work at the Tunnel Road Goodwill, bringing out the racks of "new" items from the back.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/202229618/80s-vintage-t-shirt-i-heard-that-soft?ref=shop_home_active_2

They are friendly with all the customers, but especially with the little old ladies shopping there. 

https://www.etsy.com/listing/202229618/80s-vintage-t-shirt-i-heard-that-soft?ref=shop_home_active_2

Their two responses to almost everything they hear is, "I heard that!" and/or "You know that's right!" 


https://www.etsy.com/listing/202229618/80s-vintage-t-shirt-i-heard-that-soft?ref=shop_home_active_2

I think these are fantastic sayings, both.

So fantastic that I ironed fuzzy flock letters onto a soft, thin, broken in 80's t-shirt.

vintage 80's i heard that t-shirt

Wednesday, September 03, 2014

WTF Wednesday - Batdog & Splasheville & Skulls


It's Wednesday which means time again to focus on the whacky!

The Greensboro Grasshoppers minor league baseball team has a bat dog. A black lab that goes out on the field during the games to retrieve balls and bats. 



The first one was Miss Babe Ruth. Since then, they have used Miss Lou Gehrig, and Master Yogi Berra.

I first saw the dogs when they worked the ACC Tournament games for UNC last year. 

Pouncey saw the bitch of his dreams on TV. 



Babe's brother, Master Yogi Berra, is still working for them, even though he got himself ejected from a game for 'relieving himself on the field.'

This article is hilarious: Baseball Insider: It's About Time: First Dog Ejected From Game


If you've been looking for a sign that the apocalypse is nigh, well, here it is. According to the Greensboro, N.C. News-Record, Master Yogi Berra, a bat and ball carrying dog for the Greensboro Grasshoppers, became the first canine ejected from a baseball game when he was tossed by home plate umpire Jason Hutchings during Greensboro's 9-6 loss to Asheville for "relieving himself" on the field.
The story goes something like this: Master Yogi was involved in one of his traditional between-innings routines, chasing down a ball that was sent deep to center field. En route to the plate, he stopped and left a memento of his trek to get the ball right on the field. Hutchings wasn't having any of that, and he tossed the pooch right after the act.
Amidst the turmoil, the Grasshoppers are sticking with their man. Or dog, as the case may be. Team owner Donald Moore said Yogi was fighting through a stomach virus, and then provided what must be one of the most sublime quotes in baseball history.
"When you gotta go, you gotta go," Moore said. "Yogi's had a tough start to his season, and I hope this doesn't get him down. He clearly couldn't control himself out there. He's such a competitor and he wanted to do his duties as he's been trained. We all hope Yogi feels better soon and he returns to us ready to entertain our fans. You know, he's volunteering his time out there, so I hope he doesn't get fined too much (for his ejection). I don't know the Rulebook like the back of my hand, but apparently a dog can't do his business on the field. Let's hope this is an isolated incident, and Yogi can learn from this experience,"
The best part of the whole episode? Yogi is now listed as day-to-day on the team's injury report. Yes, a dog is day-to-day. Something tells us he'll eat some grass and be back out there against Asheville tonight.

By Cameron Smith  |  April 23, 2009
*******

This makes me giggle with glee! 

WTF?! 

Next I have to give a giant WTF to the city of Asheville for closing the wildly popular Splasheville water fun park for the entire heat of the summer this year. I understand things break and it takes a while to fix them, but they need to publicize that the fountain is closed! Otherwise, kids in bathing suits arrive ready to play, are met with a cold hard "BROKEN" sign, dreams are dashed, and parents' promises are unfulfilled. 

The Asheville Disclaimer has called Splasheville "Asheville's Bidet," but I would like to flush city managers down the toilet for how they've handled this. The city website still shows the park as open. 

The local paper ran a story yesterday saying it has been closed for weeks, and will be closed for more weeks. "Splashville [sic] weeks away from opening in Asheville

Again, this is fine, but TELL THE PEOPLE. 

WTF?!

Last but not least, here is a crazy t-shirt from the late 80's advertising a mail order skull catalog. 


available skulls include: wombat, muskrat, hippopotamus, and more! 


WTF?!

As with all wtf wednesdays, there are no answers, only questions leading to more questions.


For more vintage wtf wonders (for sale), click here: vintage wtf

Friday, August 22, 2014

my old clothes: priceless edition

as promised, what seems like 16 years ago, i'm addicted to vintage t-shirts and am going to share some of my favorites here.

we'll start with my most blockbuster of heavy hitters - my parents' college t-shirts. i don't wear these, but i could.

first off here is my mom's souvenir from the University of Rhode Island SAE Spring Weekend 1970.

SAE Spring Weekend 1970 URI University of Rhode Island night shirt t-shirt

it's a beautiful faded red-orange color.


SAE Spring Weekend 1970 URI University of Rhode Island night shirt t-shirt

awesome contrast stitching seams


DSC_7304

sweet v-neck style


SAE Spring Weekend 1970 URI University of Rhode Island night shirt t-shirt

ooooold sportswear label



SAE Spring Weekend 1970 URI University of Rhode Island night shirt t-shirt

best part is it's a nightshirt! pretty bold that the fraternity t-shirt giveaway is a NIGHTshirt. gotta love the 70's!

(my dad was not an SAE. i'm not asking too many questions about how she got this one. just loving it.)

the other most prized t-shirt in my collection is this one of my dad's also from URI, circa 1968.
university of rhode island t-shirt 60s 1968 champion runner tag URI



extremely faded navy blue


university of rhode island t-shirt 60s 1968 champion runner tag URI

distressed, but hanging in there


university of rhode island t-shirt 60s 1968 champion runner tag URI

check out that 60's vintage champion runner tag


university of rhode island t-shirt 60s 1968 champion runner tag URI

air conditioning vents on back

these shirts are not for sale, nor will they ever be for sale. you know what, if somebody wants to send me $1 Million for them ($2M for both), i would part with them. other than that, forget it. 

this concludes the priceless edition of 'my old clothes.'  stay tuned for more of my favorites, ones that i actually wear, sometime in the near future. 

Friday, August 01, 2014

my vintage t-shirt addiction

i was born in 1976, the heydey of the t-shirt.

in those days, t-shirts were soft, made in the USA, and the graphics were hand-drawn, bold and colorful.

apple schnapps
5th birthday party in an apple schnapps t-shirt

my grandfather, flops, was a liquor salesman in providence, rhode island. he would get boxes of booze-related promotional giveaways to pass on to bar owners. he passed a lot of those t-shirts onto my brother and me. lucky!

poured in the usa
poured in the USA boss berry schnapps raglan tee

 our nightshirts were schnapps t-shirts.

yukon jack
happy birthday yukon jack whiskey

we wore a "pott & coke" shirt until it disintegrated. (pott is a brand of rum) (we were 5 years old)

one of my first t-shirt memories is this cruzan rum shirt. so simple! so soft! so beautiful! we also had the matching beach towel.




a good 3/4 of my wardrobe is now and has always been designed for men or boys. i don't like being 'dressed up' and value comfort and texture over everything.

surfers alliance
10 years old in a men's surfers alliance t-shirt

i continued loving t-shirts as i got older. i got them as souvenirs. i started going thrifting in high school looking for old t-shirts.

budweiser lucy
budweiser ringer and a bichon

over the years, i have amassed a closetful of about 100 soft, thin vintage t-shirts that i wear every day. i still have and wear a handful of the original t-shirts flops gave to us in the 80's. yukon jack is a clear winner.

in the coming months, i will highlight a few of my favorites here.  stay tuned!