all i really needed to know about religion i learned from a t-shirt

this vintage 1990 t-shirt has to be the most concise and brilliant summary of comparative religion in existence:

Taoism: Shit Happens
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Buddhism: It is only the illusion of shit happening.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Jehovah's Witness: Knock Knock. Shit happens.
Atheism: There is no such thing as shit.
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens -- and maybe it doesn't.
Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder.
Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to me?
Televangelism: Send money or shit will happen to you.
Rastafarianism: Smoke that shit.
Unitarianism: Who gives a shit?