happy new year

sappy, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

i hate to be sappy but i hope everybody has a peaceful warm exciting refreshing inspiring cozy new years.

free love

someone who wants to buy condoms from ingles grocery store needs to ask a pharmacist to open a locked glass case where they're kept with nicotine patches and heart rate monitors. i imagine that could be an absolutely ridiculous deterrent. i'm sure it's to prevent theft, but jesus christ they should have free buckets of condoms at the front door for anybody willing to use one.

caught on tape - shoplifting dog

i tried to get holden to do this at a chapel hill harris teeter in about 1999. one night my friend jill and i put on sunglasses and took the white pole that hangs off horizontal blinds as a walking cane, and put the old navy dog raincoat onto which i had stenciled 'guiding eyes for the blind - dog in training' on holden and we let him out of the car near the entrance to the grocery store, hoping he'd run in & go to the meat aisle and take something out and cause some cute mischief. but holden just sat in the parking lot looking at us.

the dog in this video is my new hero.

not a chill to the winter

brick cross, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

once in a while you can get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right

the holidays are here and we're still at war

brett dennen's christmas carol:



lookin for someone to set us free
a king with fists like muhammad ali

merry christmas from the early 80's

xmas 82, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

me: flying reindeer! on my roof! tonight!

chris: presents! presents! presents!

xmas tree 82

xmas tree 82, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

may your days be merry and bright

footwarmers

footwarmers, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

i thought i hated cats. howard is henry's brother and a sweet kitten who likes to snuggle and doesn't act like a sneaky liar who is merely tolerating my presence. i would still run one over with my car to avoid an accident, but he's melting my lump of coal heart. they sat like this on my feet for an hour this afternoon while i read.

way happier

fluffy holidays from my cutest brother henry:


other good news - i am dogsitting another dog named henry this week & he is the same colors and a good boy too


other good news, holden will look like hannibal lecter with his cage muzzle mask and might turn from world's wussiest to more studly, he will at least look very scary

so fucking sick

holden is the worst dog in the world.

he threw up his dinner last night undigested

i stayed up all night convinced he'd eaten something cloth and deciding to put him to sleep

i can't deal with this

compulsively obsessive dog has to be watched every damn second

i took him to the vet when they opened & they x-rayed him & saw something in his stomach and not yet in his intestines, and gave him the amorphine shot and he threw up two fucking socks

i have no idea where he got them, they were not mine - i guess out in the yard.

$300 of dog puke later here i am

i am going to hell but i wish he had died

i can't deal with this anymore

does anybody want a free dog?

i am serious.

i can't afford a dog like this anymore. mentally i can't.

nacho dock

nacho dock, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

the days are getting longer again
that wasn't so bad

my face hurts squirrel

my face hurts squirrel, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

this was deemed "mucho mucho demasiado" for myfacehurts.com
but i don't think it's that terrible
they're bushy tailed rats
brains the size of a raisin
i went through a time in high school where i killed at least a dozen birds, squirrels, chipmunks with my car in the span of a month but haven't killed any in years.
i don't brake for them though. a girl i knew in college with a huge gash scar across her forehead and eye and nose from braking for a squirrel cured me of that. i see her face and don't brake. i brake for people, dogs and maaaaybe a cat if there was no oncoming traffic.

whiny notes

whiny note, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

somebody in my neighborhood had a duffel bag stolen out of his yard. he proceeded to cut up cartons and write melodramatic guilt-trip paragraphs and taped them to telephone poles. the person who took his bag wishes they had a grandma who would give them nice things. get real jackass.

just one step after the next

"Mountains should be climbed with as little effort as possible and without desire. The reality of your own nature should determine the speed. If you become restless, speed up. If you become winded, slow down. You climb the mountain in an equilibrium between restlessness and exhaustion. Then, when you're no longer thinking ahead, each footstep isn't just a means to an end but a unique event in itself. This leaf has jagged edges. This rock looks loose. From this place the snow is less visible, even though closer. These are things you should notice anyway. To live only for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountain which sustain life, not the top. Here's where things grow.

But of course, without the top you can't have any sides. It's the top that defines the sides. So on we go...we have a long way...no hurry...just one step after the next...with a little Chautauqua for entertainment. ...Mental reflection is so much more interesting than TV it's a shame more people don't switch over to it. They probably think what they hear is unimportant but it never is."

- Robert M. Pirsig - Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

hellllllo panty christ!

just in time for christmas! the lamb of god in panties!
check it out - here
as always coupon codeword - skippyhaha = 40% off everything at vintage vantage

howitzer christmas

howitzer christmas, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

the christmas scene in hickory, nc. that's a real world war I howitzer on the left. i want to know how many people it killed.

wise holden

wise holden, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

we have gotten so much rain in the last two days, but the skies cleared for a while this afternoon
holden hopes it keeps raining because we're still a foot low

saw this online somewhere in the last year, don't know where

would you rather be heard or listened to?



listened to or understood?



understood or challenged?

mannequin

mannequin, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

i just got a torso mannequin for some more efficient t-shirt modeling, and i think with dick cheney's head in the window it will also scare away would-be burglars, unless they think there's an armless dick cheney inside and break in just to kick him.

boys

boys , originally uploaded by skippy haha.

the snuggie

the only thing on my christmas list- a snuggie

prism

prism, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

roygbiv

my face hurts

dscn0017, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

myfacehurts.com
celebrating hysterical laughter and facial injuries

click on myfacehurts.com

coke adds life

coke adds life, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

has there ever been a torso better suited for modeling vintage t-shirts?

SamiSalsa rules.

hemipene

hemipene, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

what do you do when you're at a herpetologist's house for a ladies' potluck?

make her explain snake sex!

(hemipene - pronounced like hemi-peen - The bi-lobed male reproductive organs in most reptiles, kept inverted in the tail until needed.)

no worries

no worries, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

holden & nacho went for their yearly checkup and vaccines this week.

their report cards say:
holden is 10.5 years old, weighs 71.3 lbs, heartrate 110, very good range of motion in hips, he is doing very well for his age, call him mr. velvet ears

nacho is 5.5. years old, weighs 53.5 lbs, heartrate 100, bright, alert, responsive, good body condition, tortilla chip ears

crank

things take twice as long when i'm impatient

my general crankiness boils down to things being out of my control

i wish i could control weather

i wish i could click my heels and be in NY

i wish i could control the behavior of others

i wish i could control the irritability of others

i wish i could live in a cave full of labrador retrievers

"I DON'T EXPECT A THING"

holden, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

Holidays and birthdays, I don't expect a thing,
Everyone has a good birthday and all the holidays filled
with toys, gifts and joy. For me, whatever I get my heart is
overjoyed, I don't expect a thing.

The seasons come and go, sometimes I get real nice stuff,
Sometimes it's just so-so, you will never hear me complain and
I'm never disappointed, because I never expect a thing.

Someone said to me, "Why don't you expect some things
for holidays and special occasions?"
I have all that I need so it really does not matter, as long as
my folks are in good health, have food to eat, and money to
spend, I know my gifts will come in time my friend.

I don't expect a thing, so I always get surprised and no
matter what the gift, what really matters is what's inside.

I don't expect a thing and my life is quite all right.

I don't expect a thing and I always get treated real nice.

from Poetry of a Father Lover & Friend by William O. Johnson

don't be denied

don't be denied, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

having a good time...here today

panicsgiving is almost over & it's been grand seeing everybody and listening to everything

i got some squishy earplugs that take off the top part of what i can hear but what a difference today, no ringing. highly recommend.

leaf collectors beware

leaf collectors beware, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

i think this is a very kind and thoughtful and conscientious sign to hang - warning leaf collectors and passers-by that there is a black widow in the leaves. i am sure there are black widows in ALL asheville's leaf piles, but i applaud the neighborly effort here.

just ask an indian

just ask an indian, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

sure you can trust the government...just ask an indian

blinds

blinds, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

safe travels and chewing to all this holiday weekend

pilgrims killing indians aside, there's always something to be thankful for

get him

get him, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

early morning dog hopping, fun for the whole family

holden is back to prime form.

skewing a poll

please vote for your favorite vintage t-shirt seller on ebay:

Vintage Aficionado poll

hint: the best one is
VINTAGE VANTAGE!

stuck behind the eyeball

do all the eyelashes that get in your eye come out the sides? do any go behind your eyeball and disintegrate there? it seems like many more eyelashes would fall in my eye than i remember coming out the sides. same goes for gnats.

tangles

tangles, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

for the past few years i've attached an extra long elastic camera strap on my digital camera so i hang it around my neck and it will never fall on the floor.

nacho's tail caught that strap yesterday and wagged the camera off the edge of the desk and the camera is no longer with us.

i was pretty furious and sour about it for a while. i dug out my box of cast-off appliances and found a camera from 3 years ago that works okay. the screen is dim and it's slow to click and some photos have spots, but it's better than nothing.

my friend just had intense knee surgery last week & a couple girls went to her house yesterday to nurse her while her husband was at work. we had a ball. strawberry rhubarb pie, kettle corn, the science of sleep, and lots of laughs. her leg is numb but in a machine that is constantly bending and straightening up and down all day and all night, it's pretty wild. and gael garcia bernal is extremely cute.

cellophane windows

cellophane windows, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

i've hung cellophane on 7 windows so far, and i think it is working to cut down drafts. this is the first time i've tried the cellophane - double-sided tape trick and it's been a challenge with the high ceilings (means dragging ladder around/balancing on the arms of a la-z-boy rocking chair/etc.) and tension curtain rods that no longer fit with the cellophane there.
and, it's snowing! the dogs just went out and got frisky like nitwits.
everybody stay toasty.

trevor garrod in wall street journal

trevor dials, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

* ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
* NOVEMBER 18, 2008

"Older Singers Should Give the Young a Hand" by Jim Fusilli

...As for 21st-century writers whose songs are worth exploring, let's begin with Peter Bradley Adams, Eef Barzelay, A.A. Bondy, Rivers Cuomo of Weezer, John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats, Kathleen Edwards, Geoff Farina, Trevor Garrod of Tea Leaf Green,...

article here - http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122696707696335397.html

trevor's site: trevorgarrod.com

lyrics: dgold.info/green

check out: "all of your cigarettes," "forgivin," "kali-yuga" and "chenoa" (every song can be heard mp3 with the blue arrow at the top)

relentless pursuit of socks

relentless pursuit of socks, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

what a curious sight - a sock halfway pulled through the inch-wide slot in the hamper. who ever could have done such a thing.

Sugar the two-legged dog!

auto industry bailouts

until they are seriously serious about R&D for solar-powered dune buggies, i don't want them to get a penny.

slippersock thermostat

slippersock thermostat, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

the thermostat in this house does not have an 'off' switch - i can set it at the lowest - 50 degrees Fahrenheit- but if the system is on and the temperature drops below 50, it automatically comes on to heat the house up to 50.

i have myself contained to one room with a space heater, and don't want to oil heat to kick on even if it's below 50.

i bought a bunch of handwarmers for 50 cents and put one on top of the thermostat under the slipper sock so the thermostat stays warm and does not trigger the oil heat.

click the sock to see the handwarmer.

the only real danger is if the slipper sock falls off and gets eaten by this terrible dog.

if you seek amy

britney spears has a new cd coming out with a song 'if you seek amy'

i think that's a cute way of saying FUCKme

dr. bronner's

the magic soap in the individual bottles has a stronger, longer-lasting smell than the same flavor soap you pump yourself from the bulk jugs at the store.

i suspect dilution of the bulk jugs.

tar heels opening day

there's a great article - "Depleted Tar Heels Ready For Opener( Carolina could be without four of its seniors on Saturday)"- about UNC's injury problems, which quotes Roy Williams telling the team: 'quit being a bunch of little wimps.'

santa barbara tea fire

there's a wild fire raging in the hills above santa barbara, since last evening. our friend sh32, aka phil, lives exactly right in the middle of it.

i heard that the eucalyptus and palm trees in the area are literally exploding when the oil inside them gets too hot - and that sends flying more flaming shrapnel.

so join me in sending phil some good thoughts and keep your paws crossed that his house survives.


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sidewalk fail

see more fail blog

who would do this?

asheville airport

asheville, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

flying out of these mountains for a weekend in the isle of long. first stop, america's finest city- newark new jersey.

arctic tiki hut

ice tiki hut, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

having a bedtime, i remember being awake in bed a lot growing up. i hung upside down over the edge of the bed and would imagine an alternate universe where everybody was barbie-sized and would use the fans and lights and molding and tiles on the ceiling as ball rooms and tiki huts.

knock knock

little old lady

the civic center

the civic center, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

this is a 45 minute walk from my house, up paths paved for cars, though we could count on one hand the cars we saw.

a view of the north end of downtown asheville from the east.

scenic roots show tonight

brian's band scenic roots will be rocking the door off the garage tonight.

they were possibly going to play some seger (NIGHT MOVES!), but there wasn't enough time to learn it all.

nacho siesta

nacho siesta, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

he always finds the sunny spots

holden health saga - part a million

i walked into my bedroom and holden was sitting next to the laundry basket, looking at it and repeatedly swallowing.

he looked suspicious.

i looked in the laundry basket and saw only one sock of a pair of thick knee socks.

i freaked the hell out.

stamping my feet, crying, hand wringing, yelling at holden "WHY! GODDAMN IT! YOU FUCKING DOG! THIS IS IT!"

i have a broken CD alarm clock that for some reason goes off every day at noon and midnight (since daylight savings it's 11am and 11pm) and plays the josh phillips folk festival CD in there, which is an upbeat, soulful CD. i yelled at the clock, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" and punched it off.

i pried open his teeth and stuck my hand as far down his throat as it would go.

i turned the laundry basket upside down looking for the other sock.

i thought about waiting to see if he would throw it up, or he would poop it out, but then i started thinking if i wait longer than 2 hours and it moved into his intestines, it could get stuck in the kinks where he's had 2 surgeries in the past, and would require another risky surgery for thousands of doghairs.

so i called the vet to see about the shot to make him throw up. i was crying & said i can't take it anymore, i have spent close to $10,000 on him this year. if he needs surgery, i can't do it.

i brought him in and they x-rayed him, saw the sock in his stomach, and gave him a shot of amorphine to make him throw it up.

now he's back home, on the dog bed resting and slightly gagging, and i'm right next to him slightly gagging too.

kisses for the president

kisses for the president, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

i said 'give the president kisses' and they do this.

has nothing to do with putting peanut butter on obama's ears.

cautious optimism

tick

tock

tick

tock

can't wait to see if we get to CHANGE or not

i volunteered last night at the local obama office with my friend michelle. they sent us to candler's finest trailer parks to hang obama signs printed with the hours and voting locations on a few very specific doors.

we knocked every time, but only one man opened up after burping heartily and told us his wife was going to vote today.

so there's that.

bobbin

bobbin, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

it had been 20 years since i've seen bobbing for apples, but like riding a bike, it comes right back.

picnic

picnic, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

i climbed up Looking Glass Rock this weekend with some friends and dogs.

the views were truly spectacular. the rock falls off at a sharp angle and you're faced with a canyonish bowl of trees at the height of the fall color change.

it's like being at the end of the world.

barry's buds endorses obama

this is a fantastic newsletter from Barry Cooper, the ex-Texas trooper who now does "Never Get Busted" DVDs and lectures all over the country about legalizing marijuana, and how ineffective the drug war has been, and how so many people's lives are ruined getting busted for herb.

i think he's funny and honest and i like his straightforward style and he wholeheartedly believes what he's saying.

the newsletter starts:

Candi and I often use the phrase, “these Americans are crazy!” We use this term when referencing the Americans who support McCain and Palin and the right wing conservatives of our country. We see McCain as a fake, old, mean, power hungry, little man with crazy dark eyes that dart around looking for approval. I remember facing McCain in an elevator regarding our current marijuana laws only to see him dart away as I was shoved by some of his security. The entire incident was captured by a freelancer who placed it on you tube here:...

gnarly footage of Barry Cooper try to confront McCain on an elevator with Cindy McCain and some shady bodyguards about marijuana harming people when it really helps people.

the newsletter also features such gems as:

"I have no respect for McCain and wish we were all on an anarchist island together so I could kick his ass…he deserves it!"


and

"So vote for Obama. He is half black and half white and totally opposes the crazy Bush and McCain generation of government. "


check it out here.

humpy brownie

peanut butter time 3, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

henry has a stuffed dog friend about half his size named humpy, so named because henry used to or still likes to hump him. when the neighbor's girl comes over to play with henry, humpy's name turns to brownie.

8 legged demon

how exciting is it to find a black widow the size of a quarter up between the shower curtain liner and the shower curtain while taking a shower?

extremely!

flicking and crushing it with a slippery conditioner bottle is a surefire way to get the blood pumping in the morning!

and then to find another one in the same place 2 weeks later - exhilirating!

kitch

kitch, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

my refrigerator is from the 70s, and so is the wallpaper

potlucky

economics

if we all cancel christmas, we'll kill the economy

history isn't written yet,
we're not stuck in a depression yet,
if we stop spending any money won't the economy necessarily shrivel and wither?
shouldn't we keep spending? in places we love for experiences and things and food we love?
no fear.

i keep seeing 'stocks tumble amidst fears...'
let's stop fearing
and stocks will climb

ballot

ballot, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

i early voted.

now i want to vote again.

the same way.

republicans think about me, democrats think about we

i heard a poor man voting republican is just dumb

apple skin fungus

apple skin fungus, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

the organic famer said if you peel the skin it's fine underneath

secret fluff safe

secret fluff safe, originally uploaded by skippy haha.

my feedback for the fluff jars and peanut butter stash safes is so good: http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback2&userid=skippyhaha&ftab=AllFeedback

look at all those A++++++'s

frigid

The temperature inside my house is currently 49 degrees Farenheit.

i am sitting at my desk chair in my sleeping bag and fingerless gloves.

i called the oil company when they opened at 830 and the guy said he'd have someone here 'before lunch.'

when i moved here in april, the girl moving out said the oil tank was empty.

the oil guy on the phone said that trying to run it when the tank is empty will draw sludge from the 100 year old oil tank into the system and the whole thing would need to be cleaned out

so i'm waiting

and

YES he just pulled up!

prancing dogs

nacho holden , originally uploaded by skippy haha.

there is nothing happier than a dog in the woods

What would YOU Drill Sarah Palin with?

If you could drill Sarah Palin w/ anything, what would it be? from vintage vantage on Vimeo.

People at Baracknroll SF this week had some good ideas.

I would drill her with a solar powered dune buggy. Or Ritz Bitz crackers.

obama vs. mccain thumbwrestling

"the dude can't use his arms!"

"Dads"

"Dads", originally uploaded by skippy haha.

Dads are people that love you so mutch that they even buy you things on days that aren't special accations.

Happy Birthday Dad! This is a big one! I'm glad you've grown a neck since I was in 2nd grade! See you soon!