eli as he was in the cell in his mother's womb

i believe this to be true.

christmas squirrel marshmallow world

murray christmas

i think the cleveland show is pretty damn funny. rollo reminds me of holden (RIP). i love how cleveland pronounces merry and marry like "murray."
i can't stop saying it that way.

MURRAY CHRISTMAS!

when parents text

this is the funniest site i have seen in years.

http://whenparentstext.com/

parents texting with their children.

por ejemplos:

FLASH

Dad: ill send you a FLASH tomorrow

Me: What’s a flash?

Dad: this thing that goes FLASH on the phone

Me: It’s a text, thanks.

*****

PROFILE PIC

Mom: Proud day for you! I changed my facebook picture

Me: to what?

Mom: Gummy bears. LOL!

holiday advice from charles-pierre baudelaire

Always be drunk.
That's it!
The great imperative!
In order not to feel
Time's horrid fardel
bruise your shoulders,
grinding you into the earth,
Get drunk and stay that way.
On what?
On wine, poetry, virtue, whatever.
But get drunk.
And if you sometimes happen to wake up
on the porches of a palace,
in the green grass of a ditch,
in the dismal loneliness of your own room,
your drunkenness gone or disappearing,
ask the wind,
the wave,
the star,
the bird,
the clock,
ask everything that flees,
everything that groans
or rolls
or sings,
everything that speaks,
ask what time it is;
and the wind,
the wave,
the star,
the bird,
the clock
will answer you:
"Time to get drunk!
Don't be martyred slaves of Time,
Get drunk!
Stay drunk!
On wine, virtue, poetry, whatever!"

-Charles-Pierre Baudelaire

wine country

it's noon on a saturday.

you're in an SUV limo with 15 people you just met, going from winery to winery in temecula, california.

you start making out with one of the people in the back seat.

this is the reaction.

my dream

when i think of the most perfect moment i could ever live through, this is it.

shine on

no more tiles in the bag, and this is the message the scrabble gods sent me last night.

here's a video of john cruz singing his song of the same name.

The morning sun comes through the window on your hair
I find your love & spirit everywhere
I may not have that much to give in material things
But what i have is this song & to you i sing

Shine on, shine on let your light fill up this world til' dawn
Shine on, shine on let your light fill up this world til' dawn

All night long i wait for you and you're finally there
I'm amazed at the loving that we both have shared
I may not have that much to give in material things
But what i have i give to you so freely

Shine on, shine on let your light fill up this world til' dawn
Shine on, shine on let your light fill up this world til' dawn.

All night long, i will wait for your fire
All night long, i will wait for your fire
All night long, i will wait for your fire
All night long, i will wait for your fire

Well, the morning sun comes through the window on your hair
I awake to find your spirit everywhere
I know i may not have that much to give in material things
But what i have i give to you so freely

So, shine on, shine on let your light fill up this world til' dawn
Shine on, shine on just let your light fill up this world til' dawn

All night long, i will wait for your fire
All night long, i will wait for your fire
All night long, i will wait for your fire
All night long, i will wait for your fire

nachodoggy

i decided i was being mean to people i don't know on here today, and deleted the posts about zuckerman's hands and donald trump television and here is a picture of nacho's gullet.

television

oh to be like nacho and have a brain the size of a walnut, fresh snuggies to drool on, and an everwagging tail...

i spent the majority of my adult life without a tv. which meant that i spent a lot of time online. i missed having a tv during college basketball season and that's it.

in the past couple years, the situation has changed, definitely for the better, and now there is a big screen tv in the family room and i spend a couple hours every night in front of it.

i thought it was supposed to be relaxing and turn people into unthinking zoned-out zombies. instead i often find myself anxious and yelling at the screen and hating humanity.

i love the show pawn stars. i love the real emotion and hope and validation non-actors get in selling their treasures.

i love watching sports on tv. i hate the announcers. we turn on woody durham on the radio and sync it to the tv during carolina basketball. i learn so much more about the teams that way - radio announcers kick ass. tv announcers blow hard.

last night for example the following shows stressed me out:

cash cab - while i love the true emotion of non-actors (again) i am anxious while watching it imagining if i'd been in the cab and didn't know the answers

millionaire matchmaker - the plastic surgery and shallowness was overwhelming. completely. and the loneliness. egos. delusions. uggghhh.

even the golf channel, which you would think would lull a person to peaceful rest, had a show about how donald trump strong-armed his way into polluting the northeast coast of scotland with his 'biggest' and 'best' and 'most lavish' golf course that he's building in the dunes there. he is an ass. if he wanted to appreciate the dunes and let people enjoy walking through them, he could've created a park instead of a multi-million dollar exclusive golf course in the beautiful fragile ecosystem. now if you want to walk in those dunes you'll have to pay exorbitant greens fees. and half your month's salary to stay at the fake garish castle he's renovating. america, fuck yeah!

so i guess i should just stick with pawn stars, house hunters, and unc basketball with the volume off.

skedaddling

highlights of the past week include:

- tea and crumpets (okay coffee and chocolate) with friends and their chubby babies

- a chubby 1 year old who slaps his legs instead of clapping

- a chubby 1 year old who tumbled gracefully head first into a diaper pail and didn't even cry

- corn pudding and collared greens from 12 bones

- for 4 meals in a row

- behind the scenes after hours tour of a fantastic brewery in the woods with fun friends old and new

- lap sitting in the back of a cab down the interstate

- finding a stray lace thong at our house after a party, for the second party in a row

- finger painting a mannequin flesh color

- sub-zero wind chills forcing me to stay inside

- for 4 days in a row

million dollar soup bowl idea

i would love to have soup bowls with spouts. then i could drink the soup dregs straight out of the bowl without spilling on myself or needing a bib.

you are free to take this idea and run, just please send me one.