Friday, October 27, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
Friday, October 20, 2006
happy anniversary mom & dad!
Thursday, October 19, 2006
seeds
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
Sunday, October 15, 2006
cops love me
Pulled over in Del Mar
Followed for past mile from highway twisting streets neighborhood by
dark shark of roads
patrol car
flashes lights
Officer A. Garcia badge 50-ish
short of course stout aviators khaki
license registration proof of insurance
did i do something wrong?
i'll tell you just as soon as you do what i just said
hand license from wallet
reach to glove box
ehh- it's okay - everything in your name? -the registration?
yeah yeah all me
well heather you know what you're sposta do at a stop sign?
stop
yeahhhh- you rolled through not one but two stop signs usually you see a patrol car behind you people come to complete stop or they been drinking--?
i haven't
Loud beeping sound muffled operator walkietalkie
okay i'm gonna let you go today with just a warning heather
writes my name in all caps in pocket notebook
but you're gonna hafta show some more effort-?
sure yeah okay
okay boots on gravel turn walk back
shaking hands shift to drive
i thought i stopped
Saturday, October 14, 2006
how they got there
Top 20 of 31 Total Search Strings | |||
---|---|---|---|
# | Hits | Search String | |
1 | 23 | 20.35% | ivan drago |
2 | 15 | 13.27% | sexpanther |
3 | 10 | 8.85% | kitshickers |
4 | 9 | 7.96% | her spandex |
5 | 8 | 7.08% | beaner |
6 | 6 | 5.31% | ivan%20drago |
7 | 4 | 3.54% | redteam |
8 | 3 | 2.65% | trampolines |
9 | 2 | 1.77% | drago rocky iv |
10 | 2 | 1.77% | female target |
11 | 2 | 1.77% | ivan%20drago%20pictures |
12 | 2 | 1.77% | kickball teams southern california |
13 | 2 | 1.77% | moose drunk |
14 | 2 | 1.77% | mooseknuckles |
15 | 2 | 1.77% | rocky 4 drago |
16 | 2 | 1.77% | rocky drago |
17 | 2 | 1.77% | rocky ivan drago |
18 | 2 | 1.77% | ruggy joesten |
19 | 2 | 1.77% | tuck-oop scoop-uk |
20 | 2 | 1.77% | www.kitshickers.com |
stats from october 06 vintagevantage.com-
Top 20 of 1153 Total Search Strings | |||
---|---|---|---|
# | Hits | Search String | |
1 | 3908 | 37.00% | vintage t-shirts |
2 | 598 | 5.66% | steroids |
3 | 495 | 4.69% | vintage vantage |
4 | 328 | 3.11% | cowgirl |
5 | 300 | 2.84% | vintage t shirts |
6 | 298 | 2.82% | rednecks |
7 | 279 | 2.64% | mud trucks |
8 | 213 | 2.02% | vintage tee shirts |
9 | 181 | 1.71% | tuna |
10 | 168 | 1.59% | noodling |
11 | 115 | 1.09% | 2 live crew |
12 | 104 | 0.98% | vintage tshirts |
13 | 97 | 0.92% | jack johnson |
14 | 93 | 0.88% | vintage tees |
15 | 80 | 0.76% | weekend at bernies |
16 | 70 | 0.66% | vintagevantage |
17 | 69 | 0.65% | vintage tee |
18 | 61 | 0.58% | chunky |
19 | 58 | 0.55% | hoochie |
20 | 57 | 0.54% | vintage shirts |
i want to find the two people who searched for "tuck-oop scoop-uk"
Friday, October 13, 2006
conversation between supermarket produce workers
B: i’m good with TJ i got boys in TJ. a friend of yours?
A: naw i don’t know
B: are you gonna go?
A: no i don’t think they like white boys down there
B: it’s cool man i can go with you if you want
A: cool yeah okay
Thursday, October 12, 2006
restaurant waste
or throw it away
make you some more
a big tub before
the trash men
come empty your tray
enough for an army
or family of five
served all to one
that old principal's wife
and she eats like a bird from benin
fold up your manners
remember your napkin
if asked to say grace
just say
thank you sweet garden
of heavenly bounty
a bountiful heaven on earth
here today
with you all
peaceful blessings
of health and great cheer
let's dig in
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
not longing haiku 49-55
and yet we're still compelled to
learn at every turn
oh jesus christ god
almighty give me someone
to blame besides me
the toasty warm lives
i imagine for others
are cold & grinding
fertility drugs
blessing the rich with the curse
of the poor masses
if he could live that
long would all Holden's hair turn
gray eventually
cover your bases
with plastic foam padding &
you'll never get home
how long will you just
hide behind your bad choices
and pray for sunshine
Monday, October 09, 2006
Sunday, October 08, 2006
tootie's bong
"look here
BONG
BONG
BONG
...
we figured if we couldn't be in the group, at least we'll have the same stuff"
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Friday, October 06, 2006
i'm on an asian urn
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.'"
- John Keats, "Ode on a Grecian Urn" 1819
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
exactly as i found it
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Monday, October 02, 2006
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Friday, September 29, 2006
not longing haiku 41-48
should i save or should i spend
is a no brainer
to look like this is
my destiny what i do
with it is free will
wet empty sorry
evil danced in the shadows
it was a bad trip
lucky or perfect
if you're perfect you're lucky
not the other way
everybody's got
opinions but nobobdy
knows where they come from
the holy grail is
two faces together and
also the gold cup
to sleep means to dream
of concrete & dark & tires
rest these puffy eyes
it would be a crime
to live all these days & die
without yodeling
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
sic balls chopper
95% of the mats are taken
the one in front of you is not
a man comes onto it
in flip flops & a pitching wedge, drops a ball, hits it lazy one hand
turns, faces you, not even 2 or 3 feet away, straight ahead, and watches
ignore no eye contact be the ball you're not being the ball danny
he makes stupid jokes comments questions thinks he's adorable
not 2 feet away shoulders square intense scrutiny
walk away change clubs he's still watching facing, not hitting his own, only watching you
makes jokey apology for being annoying
i say you know what? i come here to be by myself & hit balls & not think for a little while, NOT to meet people
he mumbled stammered got brave said some confused shit about finding random things on the sidewalk that brighen your day still thinks he's adorable
walk away change clubs turn back to him still staring relentless
can't swing can't think slice topped ball after ball he never turns around
do something
see his head's the ball, bend knees, soft hands, hit 5 wood like 200 yards on the fly
you want the rest of these?
what? so you're just leaving?
have a good one
what? have a good one? that's all i get?
what's your name
heather
i'm james
see you around
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Friday, September 22, 2006
pushing his luck
ralph's grocery store, san diego, 9/21/06 8pm
*also, happy birthday to the prima beccarina! shining star of milwaukee!
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
hot tub fever = "so, you know, if you're feelin cold just think like this" - DL
read along with the words:
With a little bit of heart, and a whole lotta soul,
we're gonna get the damn thing heated
Tried before in years in the past, but this time, I won't be defeated
Cuz i drew the map and the diagram and put all the parts in place
and as Memorial Day comes to a close, I feel that time and space have come together to help me finally see this through
so by evening-time, I hope to be kickin it with you
taking the time we all deserve
maybe sipping on a gin-and-tonic, maybe smokin on a little herb
in our hot tub
even if it has to use water from my shower to get it hot
I gotta do what i got to do
cause i've carted this thing around, and I won't stop just yet
until i feel the warm therapeutic blast from the hot tub's hyper jets
Come on over and sit in my hot tub
Feel the warm therapeutic blast
You see, we were broken men at the ends of our ropes
hot with hot tub fever in their groins and in their throats
erractic behavior. loss of self control
tearing up our front deck, digging big fat holes
in the middle of the night so the owner wouldn't catch on
gravediggers in the cemetery, gone before the dawn
hot tub fever! he's got this crazy look in his eye
he spent 60 bucks on a brand new pump from those bastards down the street
30 more for chlorine, 100 to fix that leak
we spent all our money on the hot tub, until we don't got enough to eat
hot tub fever! burning in our brains!
if i could sit in it just once, I think I'd be okay
Come on over and sit in my hot tub
Feel the warm therapeutic blast
For the last four years, we've been trying to get this thing to work...
ALO here!
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
longing haiku 25-32
what you do all day how your
hours while away
waiting for the one
he would've moved for if she
had only asked him
deeper the valley
higher the mountain better
the view from the top
fresh green sap rush up
spiral thrust down spread out now
take root bloom like mad
the melody brings
me back to backseats when the
sun was clean & hot
you thought what i thought
our eyes meet flicker flicker
i thought what you thought
make me laugh so hard
i want to put you in my
pocket forever
Monday, September 18, 2006
not longing haiku 33-40
to be awake feels wrong &
lamps lit, we fight it
lost tossed would like to
gather moss but can't find a
rock to crawl under
if my last words are
it was fun while it lasted
things went pretty well
if i were a man
i could take a walk right now
without being scared
the cops have been called
you have set off an alarm
leave while you still can
one thing i believe
there is nothing inspiring
about suicide
we were friends one time
your petty desperation
ruins another meal
say the same things til
you melt into one big dull
person with no point
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Friday, September 15, 2006
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
funshy
it's your fault
your mind is closed
youre free to judge me
the choices i make
do not harm me
would not harm you
i never pressure
i never preach
you'll never see
& it's your loss
my friend
Monday, September 11, 2006
jim reilly is in national geographic
where you at clarence?
all we are saying is give peace a chance
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Friday, September 08, 2006
happy birthday phil! adios j, j & m!
i went to santa barbara yesterday for jay & jess & miles' going away dinner/art sale/music show and it was fantastic.
loving the west indian girl spacey trippy rock that rolls
kind of like the flaming lips but easier on the eyes & just very damn good
art show!
jay gets down to another awesome performance by tweener king guadalajara joe!
damn i'm going to miss that guy on the dancefloor.
not so fantastic was the deal at the hotel santa barbara. hotel security shut down our 'party' before it even started.
they didn't buy the line that it wasn't a party, we were working, it was a photoshoot. it was only 7 or 8 of us, fine upstanding citizens, being civil and polite and not drunk, wanting only to converse reasonably and maybe have ah beer and that's it.
on the train home today i wrote some lyrics for "welcome to the hotel santa barbara" (to the tune of the eagles' classic 'hotel california').
Welcome to the Hotel Santa Barbara
We'll kick you out
You don't even have to shout
Plenty of room at the Hotel Santa Barbara
Where it's always late
And we don't negotiate
Party in the lobby
not up in your room
no one has a good time here
we're the hotel of doom
nice people kicked on the sidewalk
at 2 AM
if they're not registered guests
out the door with them
Welcome to the Hotel Santa Barbara
now it's time to go
this means you, G-Joe
No livin it up at the Hotel Santa Barbara
grumpy front desk guy
just won't let it slide
Booooooooooooo
and then just about 40 minutes from home, my train smashed a small pickup truck and man who was driving it. trainwreck in encinitas.
hope you had a great birthday phil, dig the spirit of 76, and best of everything (mejor de todo?) to jay, jess & miles the intrepid adventurers in search of a home that fits their vibe in cadaques, espana.
Share Away :
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
the second tape i threw out of a window
in Senor Hoffmann’s 10th grade Espanol, i threw a listening comprehension
cassette tape out the second-floor classroom window
while El Profesor was out of the room &
everybody saw me do it –
after Mitchell Kent bet me $5 i wouldn’t
Once El Profesor realized the tape was gone, he freaked
his stooped little bald headed thick-ass glasses-ed
self out & announced his plan to ferret out
the criminal(s) – which was more homework
for everybody, more quizzes, and bringing in
Dr. Sullivan (aka Dr. Vullisan) the slick smirky steely Asst. Principal
and the singling out of the 1
kid in the class of color as the likely perp.
he was from the
named Alfonso Hernandez mr. charming &
he was getting blamed for it if nobody (me)
stepped up and admitted it. The reason Al got blamed is
because i’d written a note to El Professor
in semi-broken Espanol (thereby throwing him off
my trail – i had bueno enspanol) saying that
“I threw the tape out the window & ‘the
machine that eats the grass ate the tape’”-
which was true – by the time i
looked for the tape the next week, it was
gone, in its place cut grass.
so Al was getting blamed, Dr. Sullivan was
called in, El Profesor wasn’t letting it
go like i'd thought he would and
fucking Mitchell kent that rat
bastard hadn’t given me $5.
so i fessed up & had to go
to Dr. Sullivan’s office & explain it &
he was kind of laughing the whole
time & instead he talked about writing
his dissertation on Eliot’s “The Hollow Men”
and gave me a copy of the
poem out of his file cabinet to keep &
it was about men stuffed with
straw of clothes stuffed with straw and
just about how fake everything is. So he let me off with a
copy of “The Hollow Men” & a bill for $35.50
to replace the whole set of tapes
from D.C. Heath Publishing Company.
El Profesor had to think it was funny deep
down, too & Al was proud of me for
coming clean i’ll never forget his eyes
in class when he realized he was the one
being singled out wrongly accused
in the end we’re
all alright
except for fucking Mitchell kent who
never gave me my $5