sic balls chopper

what do you do when you're at the driving range
95% of the mats are taken
the one in front of you is not
a man comes onto it
in flip flops & a pitching wedge, drops a ball, hits it lazy one hand
turns, faces you, not even 2 or 3 feet away, straight ahead, and watches

ignore no eye contact be the ball you're not being the ball danny

he makes stupid jokes comments questions thinks he's adorable

not 2 feet away shoulders square intense scrutiny

walk away change clubs he's still watching facing, not hitting his own, only watching you

makes jokey apology for being annoying

i say you know what? i come here to be by myself & hit balls & not think for a little while, NOT to meet people

he mumbled stammered got brave said some confused shit about finding random things on the sidewalk that brighen your day still thinks he's adorable

walk away change clubs turn back to him still staring relentless

can't swing can't think slice topped ball after ball he never turns around

do something
see his head's the ball, bend knees, soft hands, hit 5 wood like 200 yards on the fly

you want the rest of these?

what? so you're just leaving?

have a good one

what? have a good one? that's all i get?

what's your name

heather

i'm james

see you around

fall has fallen

did you think those pumpkins stacked themselves?

festival del mar

without love, where would you be now?

alo

flowerstruck

pushing his luck

ralph's grocery store, san diego, 9/21/06 8pm


*also, happy birthday to the prima beccarina! shining star of milwaukee!

city livin

i go for a walk & smell nothing sweet
pounding fake rock with balls of my feet

hot tub fever = "so, you know, if you're feelin cold just think like this" - DL

listen along to ALO

read along with the words:

With a little bit of heart, and a whole lotta soul,
we're gonna get the damn thing heated
Tried before in years in the past, but this time, I won't be defeated
Cuz i drew the map and the diagram and put all the parts in place
and as Memorial Day comes to a close, I feel that time and space have come together to help me finally see this through
so by evening-time, I hope to be kickin it with you
taking the time we all deserve
maybe sipping on a gin-and-tonic, maybe smokin on a little herb
in our hot tub
even if it has to use water from my shower to get it hot
I gotta do what i got to do
cause i've carted this thing around, and I won't stop just yet
until i feel the warm therapeutic blast from the hot tub's hyper jets
Come on over and sit in my hot tub
Feel the warm therapeutic blast
You see, we were broken men at the ends of our ropes
hot with hot tub fever in their groins and in their throats
erractic behavior. loss of self control
tearing up our front deck, digging big fat holes
in the middle of the night so the owner wouldn't catch on
gravediggers in the cemetery, gone before the dawn
hot tub fever! he's got this crazy look in his eye
he spent 60 bucks on a brand new pump from those bastards down the street
30 more for chlorine, 100 to fix that leak
we spent all our money on the hot tub, until we don't got enough to eat
hot tub fever! burning in our brains!
if i could sit in it just once, I think I'd be okay
Come on over and sit in my hot tub
Feel the warm therapeutic blast
For the last four years, we've been trying to get this thing to work...

ALO here!

longing haiku 25-32

intense interest in
what you do all day how your
hours while away

waiting for the one
he would've moved for if she
had only asked him

deeper the valley
higher the mountain better
the view from the top

fresh green sap rush up
spiral thrust down spread out now
take root bloom like mad

the melody brings
me back to backseats when the
sun was clean & hot

you thought what i thought
our eyes meet flicker flicker
i thought what you thought

make me laugh so hard
i want to put you in my
pocket forever

not longing haiku 33-40

the sun goes down &
to be awake feels wrong &
lamps lit, we fight it

lost tossed would like to
gather moss but can't find a
rock to crawl under

if my last words are
it was fun while it lasted
things went pretty well

if i were a man
i could take a walk right now
without being scared

the cops have been called
you have set off an alarm
leave while you still can

one thing i believe
there is nothing inspiring
about suicide

we were friends one time
your petty desperation
ruins another meal

say the same things til
you melt into one big dull
person with no point

new pictures up

click here for more

modelfest2

modelfest 2 tonight, last time was so much fun

nacho house holden

funshy

if i scare you
it's your fault
your mind is closed
youre free to judge me
the choices i make
do not harm me
would not harm you
i never pressure
i never preach
you'll never see
& it's your loss
my friend

jim reilly is in national geographic

this month's national geographic has a picture of a picture of jim reilly on p. 20





where you at clarence?

all we are saying is give peace a chance

but better

avocado it's like butter avocado it's like butter but better avocados are like butter

happy birthday phil! adios j, j & m!

at midnight, guadalajara joe led us all in 'happy birthday' to shiny haired phil!

i went to santa barbara yesterday for jay & jess & miles' going away dinner/art sale/music show and it was fantastic.

loving the west indian girl spacey trippy rock that rolls


kind of like the flaming lips but easier on the eyes & just very damn good


art show!


jay gets down to another awesome performance by tweener king guadalajara joe!

damn i'm going to miss that guy on the dancefloor.

not so fantastic was the deal at the hotel santa barbara. hotel security shut down our 'party' before it even started.


they didn't buy the line that it wasn't a party, we were working, it was a photoshoot. it was only 7 or 8 of us, fine upstanding citizens, being civil and polite and not drunk, wanting only to converse reasonably and maybe have ah beer and that's it.

on the train home today i wrote some lyrics for "welcome to the hotel santa barbara" (to the tune of the eagles' classic 'hotel california').

Welcome to the Hotel Santa Barbara
We'll kick you out
You don't even have to shout

Plenty of room at the Hotel Santa Barbara
Where it's always late
And we don't negotiate

Party in the lobby
not up in your room
no one has a good time here
we're the hotel of doom
nice people kicked on the sidewalk
at 2 AM
if they're not registered guests
out the door with them

Welcome to the Hotel Santa Barbara
now it's time to go
this means you, G-Joe

No livin it up at the Hotel Santa Barbara
grumpy front desk guy
just won't let it slide

Booooooooooooo





and then just about 40 minutes from home, my train smashed a small pickup truck and man who was driving it. trainwreck in encinitas.

hope you had a great birthday phil, dig the spirit of 76, and best of everything (mejor de todo?) to jay, jess & miles the intrepid adventurers in search of a home that fits their vibe in cadaques, espana.

honeydripper

the second tape i threw out of a window

in Senor Hoffmann’s 10th grade Espanol, i threw a listening comprehension

cassette tape out the second-floor classroom window

while El Profesor was out of the room &

everybody saw me do it –

after Mitchell Kent bet me $5 i wouldn’t.

Once El Profesor realized the tape was gone, he freaked

his stooped little bald headed thick-ass glasses-ed

self out & announced his plan to ferret out

the criminal(s) – which was more homework

for everybody, more quizzes, and bringing in

Dr. Sullivan (aka Dr. Vullisan) the slick smirky steely Asst. Principal

and the singling out of the 1

kid in the class of color as the likely perp.

he was from the Dominican Republic,

named Alfonso Hernandez mr. charming &

he was getting blamed for it if nobody (me)

stepped up and admitted it. The reason Al got blamed is

because i’d written a note to El Professor

in semi-broken Espanol (thereby throwing him off

my trail – i had bueno enspanol) saying that

“I threw the tape out the window & ‘the

machine that eats the grass ate the tape’”-

which was true – by the time i

looked for the tape the next week, it was

gone, in its place cut grass.

so Al was getting blamed, Dr. Sullivan was

called in, El Profesor wasn’t letting it

go like i'd thought he would and

fucking Mitchell kent that rat

bastard hadn’t given me $5.

so i fessed up & had to go

to Dr. Sullivan’s office & explain it &

he was kind of laughing the whole

time & instead he talked about writing

his dissertation on Eliot’s “The Hollow Men”

and gave me a copy of the

poem out of his file cabinet to keep &

it was about men stuffed with

straw of clothes stuffed with straw and

just about how fake everything is. So he let me off with a

copy of “The Hollow Men” & a bill for $35.50

to replace the whole set of tapes

from D.C. Heath Publishing Company.

El Profesor had to think it was funny deep

down, too & Al was proud of me for

coming clean i’ll never forget his eyes

in class when he realized he was the one

being singled out wrongly accused

in the end we’re

all alright

except for fucking Mitchell kent who

never gave me my $5

draw yourself

come on out to clip n' dale's!

there's a place in Lakeside, CA where you can go for a sweet hairstyle and an unforgettable trip -
CLIP N' DALE'S!

here's the video commercial! i'm in it, along with buffalo rose & padres jen.

here are some outtakes from beforehand at don's cocktails down the street

donde estan her pantalones?


jen, me, don & rose


ready to go make a commercial!


what a mind scrambling trip! thanks to guadalajara joe, armando telemundo, grandma mary, barbie gottabigbooty, DALE, kevin, danielle & linda for making it all happen!

wasp 2

i offered money & lunch for anybody who would get the allegedly non-stinging dauber wasp for me, but in the meantime the nice people at eartheasy.com showed me how to make a trap for it. natural pest control.

ginger ale bottle
soapy water to make it harder to fly
honey all in the bottleneck
fingers crossed



here it is in its spot under where the wasp mainly daubs all day

wasp

it's as long as a crayon
black
oval head
tiny waist
long gold legs hang off its back
it's been in the house the past few days
morning afternoon
must sleep at night
hangs out next to desk in corner ceiling
next to painting
zooms in near my head
thru closed doors
window cracks

it sees me try to take its picture
i look at camera to hit button
for just one second
look up
there it is
every time
hovering buzzing the sound of 5 flies or more at once
right at my head face level
i turn & run & scramble backwards
scream "FUCK" and "GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKER"
involuntarily and hope for its death
hope it is old & about to die
hope it flies into a moving vehicle
hope it stings me when i'm not looking
just get it over with

i take down the painting it hangs out around & there are 20-ish blobs of mud caked onto the side where the fucker's been building a nest
i took down the painting & look forward to tomorrow when it comes back & its project has been relocated to the kitchen
i got 2 flyswatters tonight in preparation and also have a strapping young man visiting tomorrow who can help me get rid of this pest if i need it
i painted something today while the terrorist held my office hostage with its endless swooping diving buzzing
as long as a crayon
black
oval head
tiny waist
long gold legs hang off its back

(just the other day parttown told me about tarantula hawks
and i see on the schmidt sting pain index that wasps hurt.)

here's the wasp nest hung up & reflected in jay archibald's watermelon orchids

topcat lisa

my friend lisa completely ROCKS! she is a real live nfl cheerleader for the carolina panthers in charlotte! so cool!

(click her!)

wine country temecula this weekend

so fun!








there's a video of jed, brady, & some ladies at thornton winery here
("navy seal jed helps ladies at temecula winery")

i posted a couple more videos on youtube and somebody gave me only 1 star ratings! bastards!

more photos of the whole trip are here

happy birthday quissy!

to the best little brother since henry! have a great day!

over 20 billion served

august 18

sick sweet
heavy sweet
full mid august heat
heavy sun full
day turns honey brown
drip drop heavy sweet
sludge of spring summer
accumulates here bucket
swill together dark full
droplets amber sun heavy gold
drops dark red full burst
angle more steep sooner does creep
dark fall full deep
fall from gold heat
beat beat beat beat
beat beat beat beat --

kick her boy

tiny tomatoes were growing in the garden

holden got 3/4 of them, the painter dumped paint water all over the rest

willin belo

there's a Little Feat song, Willin', that has a chorus of
"And if you give me:
weed, whites, and wine
and you show me a sign
I'll be willin', to be movin'"

and i tried to fingerpaint it last summer, the weed whites & wine spiral movin' - hung with xmas lights, i took a rotating photo last winter



and then saw this mirror at chef's restaurant belo downtown in april-


and here's a youtube video of the song -

link

night visitors from god (c. 1987)

starring Leigh Revens as Dana Carvey as Church Lady

the last comanche war hero sips a mint julep in the bronx

i wanna write things that
when they're done
people will have to
go back and
re-read
immediately
and
often.

family resemblance

chain

so she didn't like it
now what will you do
whisper worn out secrets
to the neck of someone new

thrifty