is that a dildo?

the river is kind of a trash can. especially after heavy rains, it's easy to find things like plastic bags, nerf balls, socks, hubcaps, and makeup brushes washed upon the banks.

the other night we were down there throwing balls for the dogs and saw what looked like a dildo bobbing around in a little cove. it was skin colored. it was phallic. it was floating. what the hell else could it be? a paint roller? we were flummoxed.

reenactment featuring curious pouncey as a puppy

do you want to know what it was?

it wasn't a dildo!




it looked like a dildo though, didn't it?










do you really want to know?










okay!






it was a baby doll arm!

having a stroke? call 911!

kevin's parents came for memorial day and among the great discussions that we had, they shared some advice they'd recently heard from a prominent neurosurgeon in tallahassee.

if you think you (or somebody else) are having a stroke, call 911! do not try to drive yourself to the emergency room.

it will take hours for you to be processed correctly through the system, for the neurologist to arrive, for help.

'time is brain' - the longer it takes, the less recovery.

if you call 911, an ambulance will be set up to help you and you'll be whisked right in once you get to the hospital.

call 911!

the warning signs for a stroke are: F.A.S.T.

• FACE: Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the face droop? 
• ARMS: Ask the person to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward? 
• SPEECH: Ask the person to repeat a simple phrase. Is their speech slurred or strange? 
• TIME: If you observe any of these signs, call 9-1-1 immediately.

they also said that an absurd percentage of people who have a stroke/heart attack reports 'steak' as a meal in the previous day.

extreme kayaking

saturday morning we went to walmart to buy another kayak.

kevin bought a kayak for himself last weekend, drove up the river a mile or two, and kayaked home. it only took about 30 minutes.

he thought it was easy enough that i would like it too.

i have never been in a kayak. i was wary of the whole thing but after some cajoling and adventure-shaming, off we went with 2 kayaks in the car.

at first it was great. it was a lazy river. not too deep. not too many rocks.

then after less than 10 minutes we came upon rocks and rapids, and i fell out of my kayak.

i was a drowned rat. my kayak was swamped and sinking. the river rocks were slippery. i managed to get to the side, get most of the water out of the kayak, found my paddle and got back in.

i only screamed "I HATE THIS!" one time. kevin paddled over to help me and fell out of his kayak. this was helpful.

back in the slightly swamped kayaks,  we headed downriver again. more rapids ahead, kevin yelled "ROCK" and there was nothing i could do (that i knew of) so i let my kayak hit the rock where it flipped me over and out and got stuck.

there are no pitcures of this, but we can assume it looked like this.

the kayak was wrapped around the rock, stuck. i was waist deep in a rapid trying to get it loose. it was not budging. my paddle floated downriver, gone.

i screamed "I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS!," waded down to where kevin was waiting for me and said "i broke my kayak."

he went back, dislodged the kayak (not broken after all!), stashed it in the woods, gave me the key to his car and paddled his kayak home.

i scrambled out of the woods completely soaking wet,  i passed an older couple of tourists on the trail and as i scurried by she said "oh...OH!" and i said "i fell in the river." she laughed. i cried.

i soppingly walked a mile back to the car and drove home.


 
this is where i left my pants and shoes. 

an hour later a jehova's witness knocked on the door, i'm sure she was thinking the people who live here need some jesus in their life!

brain damaged cardinal flying into window repeatedly

brain damaged cardinal flying into window repeatedly a video by skippy haha on Flickr.

the internet tells me that this male cardinal sees his reflection in the window, thinks it's a rival cardinal, and tries to air-fight him.

over and over. 

for hours every day.

this idiot cardinal flies face first into the window, smacks his face, goes back to a branch, and flies again face first into the window.

the internet tells me to put a piece of paper over the window so he can't see his reflection.
i think maybe i'll just let darwin take care of this guy.

bear in the driveway

2 minutes ago! smallish bear, probably only 150 lbs.  moseying, and i do mean moseying down the driveway.

the dogs went berserk.

it's garbage day and the bears like garbage!

happy 10th birthday NACHO!

today everybody's favorite labrador with an overbite, nachodoggy turns a healthy hearty 10 anos!

he has been the sweetest, most gentle dog i've ever had.

big brother holden was a little wary of sharing his toys and food, and in fact ate much of nacho's kibbles for the first couple of months before i realized what was happening. nacho was fine with sharing!



nacho makes friends with everybody, even aaron the ups guy.



nacho is not the perfect dog. he's a major counter surfer.

 


nacho was on the san diego news during the vintage vantage 'voting is for old people' t-shirt controversy 

 

nacho moved to a house with a pool and was never scared to get in. holden would not get in, nacho hopped in immediately! 

 

nacho is endlessly patient with puppies! 

 

nacho loves to ride in the car. he was happy to move to north carolina. he is happy to do anything. 

 

nacho will go to the bathroom ANYWHERE. he is not ashamed. when he has to go, he goes. anywhere, anytime. getting a doggy door has been a great advance in nacho's life. 

 

nacho LOVES puddles! he loves to wallow in puddles like a pig. 

 

nacho is a terrible retriever. his overbite precludes him from holding a tennis ball. he doesn't care! he is happy just the way he is. 

 

nacho makes himself comfortable, wherever he is. he finds the softest spot and settles. 

 

nacho lies like a frog! still! always! feet splayed behind him. 

 

nacho got his name because his ears look like tortilla chips 

 

nacho is so gentle when he takes treats. sooo gentle! never bites. 

 

nacho is a great hiking companion. he doesn't pull on a leash, and he doesn't run away. 

 

 nacho is very sweet to pouncey. pouncey is a punk. nacho is a fantastic mother to him. 
 

nacho loves the water, and he loves following eli around! 

 

nacho wins contests! here is is with some wholly guacamole that he won online! viva! 

 

he is just so sweet i can't stand it 

 

he's also very handsome and noble, and his fleece is white as snow. 


HAPPY BIRTHDAY NACHODOGGY!

"all depression has its roots in self pity..."

i just really love this quote from tom robbins' fierce invalids home from hot climates


“All depression has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in people taking themselves too seriously." 

At the time Switters had disputed her assertion. Even at seventeen, he was aware that depression could have chemical causes. 

"The key word here is roots," Maestra had countered. "The roots of depression. For most people, self-awareness and self-pity blossom simultaneously in early adolescence. It's about that time that we start viewing the world as something other than a whoop-de-doo playground, we start to experience personally how threatening it can e, how cruel and unjust. At the very moment when we become, for the first time, both introspective and socially conscientious, we receive the bad news that the world, by and large, doesn't give a rat's ass. Even an old tomato like me can recall how painful, scary, and disillusioning that realization was. So, there's a tendency, then, to slip into rage and self-pity, which if indulged, can fester into bouts of depression." 

"Yeah but Maestra - " 

"Don't interrupt. Now, unless someone stronger and wiser - a friend, a parent, a novelist, filmmaker, teacher, or musician - can josh us out of it, can elevate us and show us how petty and pompous and monumentally useless it is to take ourselves so seriously, then depression can become a habit, which, in tern, can produce a neurological imprint. Are you with me? Gradually, our brain chemistry becomes conditioned to react to negative stimuli in a particular, predictable way. One thing'll go wrong and it'll automatically switch on its blender and mix us that black cocktail, the ol' doomsday daiquiri, and before we know it, we're soused to the gills from the inside out. Once depression has become electrochemically integrated, it can be extremely difficult to philosophically or psychologically override it; by then it's playing by physical rules, a whole different ball game. That's why Switters my dearest, every time you've shown signs of feeling sorry for yourself, I've played my blues records really loud or read to you from The Horse's Mouth. And that's why when you've exhibited the slightest tendency toward self-importance, I've reminded you that you and me - you and I: excuse me - may be every bit as important as the President or the pope or the biggest prime-time icon in Hollywood, but none of us is much more than a pimple on the ass-end of creation, so let's not get carried away with ourselves. Preventive medicine, boy. It's preventive medicine." 

"But what about self-esteem?" 

"Heh! Self-esteem is for sissies. Accept that you're a pimple and try to keep a lively sense of humor about it. That way lies grace - and maybe even glory.” 

― Tom Robbins, Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates

music is a sound value

O.C. Smith - Love Is Forever 


OC sports a fine-ass Cowichan sweater.

Years of Kmart price tags in the corner.

If I had a turntable, this might have come home with me.

the brad pitt of dogs

my friend lindsay called pouncey "the brad pitt of dogs."




i cannot argue! 

i have always thought brad pitt resembled a cartoon puppy. so there ya go.

16 seconds of sucking

here's pouncey sucking on grammie's bed:

pink evening primrose

blooming in a pot on the deck.

Oenothera speciosa- UT austin wildflower center native plant database

caught a big one!

went on a hike last weekend and came to a spot of pure beauty and kevin said to pouncey and me, 'you two go over there and do something.'

voila!

happy birthday DREZZA!

i have the world's cutest grandma! today is her birthday! 

she loves shopping for shoes!

her style is impeccable - everything is chic and slightly jazzy and ironed and looks great on her. and it helps that she has been the same size since World War II!

she still works! like 25 hours/week as a sales associate at the Country Curtains store. she's so cool. 

her name is Emily but we've all called her Drezza since her first grandchild, my cousin Julie, tried to say "grandma" and out came "drezza."

happy birthday, Drez!

things i've learned about baseball

1. when people hang the "K" signs after a strike out - frontwards K's mean they went down swinging; backwards K's mean they went down looking. 

2. home plate umpires put their hands on the catcher's back! so they know which way the guy is moving. 

photo via umpire-empire.com

pouncey gets in front of it

happy mother's day!

thanks for cutting my pancakes at mcdonald's!

pouncey has a twin

one family at the rv park where pouncey was born last year kept one of his puppy brothers, in addition to their mother blizzard. 

they named the puppy duke. i am choosing to believe it's after the bush's beans talking dog duke, and not after that crappy school in durham.

the park has a facebook page and they occasionally post pictures of duke.

poUNCey or duke? hard to tell!

this absolutely makes my day. i "like" all the pictures, and make comments, it's really the only page on facebook i go to, and i go there way too often. it's to the point kevin is hinting that i am stalking them. 

i think the dogs may have identical DNA - they even share have mirrior image tongue spots.

this is duke, click to see pouncey's tongue spot

it makes me so happy to see pictures of pouncey's twin having a nice little life over in waynesville. 

Nacho & Pouncey or Blizzard and Duke?

do you think it's natural to be fascinated by your pet's twin?

happy happy!

keeping with tradition, yesterday was the most beautiful weather day of the year! 75 and sunny!

had a great walk with pouncey & kevin.

went downtown & had malaga paella and mojitos at chorizo. muy delicioso!



went to a friend's house and saw the cutest little miniboots. laughing laughing laughing with awesome people.
 
we all went to the civic center and saw bob dylan! behold the splendor!

 

it was a great day!

time flies...

...when you're taking oatmeal baths every 3 hours! 

my case of poison ivy is definitely on its way out the door.

as somebody who doesn't like to take baths, this whole oatmeal bath thing has been a real eye-opener. they work!  i feel like a blueberry floating in a bowl of cream of wheat, but they work!

they have me in good enough shape to avoid steriods and still enjoy today! the weather is lovely, i plan on working this morning, going for an afternoon hike with pounceters, going to dinner downtown, and then going to see dawes and bob dylan at the civic center tonight with calvin my love, and my two best girlfriends lindsay and michelle!

if you're lucky and you know it, clap your hands! (clap clap)

pouncey sucks pillows

pouncey sucks.

he sucks on his bed. he gets a corner in his mouth and sucks on it. sometimes he falls asleep with his bed in his mouth.

we always say 'pouncey, stop sucking on grammie's bed' (the bed was a christmas present from grammie), but the sucking doesn't stop.

he isn't chewing or shredding it, he is just sucking on it. for long periods of time.

i just googled "dog sucks on pillow' and the conventional wisdom seems to be that dogs who are taken from their mothers too soon may suck on pillows. like sucking thumbs. a security thing.

pouncey was taken from his mother at 5-6 weeks since she was too old to make enough milk for all the puppies.

and now he sucks on his bed instead.