Tuesday, July 09, 2013
scenes from a thrift store
designed for bouffant hairstyles. what a fabulous word.
bouffant.
*****
scene: an elderly woman puttering around the goodwill store. she has a shopping cart. the only thing in the cart is a panini maker in a box. her very elderly husband joins her.
he: what's 'at?
she: a pantini maker.
he: pantini maker? what's it fer?
she: it mashes bread together and gits hot.
he: fer makin sandwiches?
she: yeah, pantinis.
he: how much it cost?
she: seven dollar.
he: aight then.
Wednesday, July 03, 2013
more from pouncey
in conjunction with the previous post, if your summer is not fun or cool enough, pouncey and his drool can help with that.
Tuesday, July 02, 2013
Thursday, June 27, 2013
sports requiring helmets
for the second time in two weeks i broke my own rule about avoiding helmet sports.
i put on that helmet right there, complete with face mask, and smacked some slow softballs.
kevin put on a helmet of his own and smacked some very fast baseballs.
he was very good at this
then we went to kenya to play 18 holes of putt putt.
the course features life sized elephants, zebras, giraffes, volcanoes and waterfalls.
tropical gardens mini golf and batting cages - YESSSSS!
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
brevard labrador vintage t-shirt with eli, nacho & pouncey!
the dogs were happy to help model a 80's vintage t-shirt from brevard nc featuring one of their cousins with a duck in his mouth.
2 minutes after this picture was taken our buddy the black bear came down the hill, headed towards us - there was a 4 foot chain link fence between us and him, though.
the dogs started barking like crazy and charged him, and i followed them also yelling at the bear. he made a quick turn and scurried to the neighbor's.
garbage day!
Sunday, June 16, 2013
happy father's day!
i hope all dads are having great days!
here's pouncey this morning hopping through the hay like a white tail deer
here's pouncey this morning hopping through the hay like a white tail deer
Thursday, June 13, 2013
is that a dildo?
the river is kind of a trash can. especially after heavy rains, it's easy to find things like plastic bags, nerf balls, socks, hubcaps, and makeup brushes washed upon the banks.
the other night we were down there throwing balls for the dogs and saw what looked like a dildo bobbing around in a little cove. it was skin colored. it was phallic. it was floating. what the hell else could it be? a paint roller? we were flummoxed.
do you want to know what it was?
it wasn't a dildo!
it looked like a dildo though, didn't it?
do you really want to know?
okay!
it was a baby doll arm!
the other night we were down there throwing balls for the dogs and saw what looked like a dildo bobbing around in a little cove. it was skin colored. it was phallic. it was floating. what the hell else could it be? a paint roller? we were flummoxed.
reenactment featuring curious pouncey as a puppy |
it wasn't a dildo!
it looked like a dildo though, didn't it?
do you really want to know?
okay!
it was a baby doll arm!
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
having a stroke? call 911!
kevin's parents came for memorial day and among the great discussions that we had, they shared some advice they'd recently heard from a prominent neurosurgeon in tallahassee.
if you think you (or somebody else) are having a stroke, call 911! do not try to drive yourself to the emergency room.
it will take hours for you to be processed correctly through the system, for the neurologist to arrive, for help.
'time is brain' - the longer it takes, the less recovery.
if you call 911, an ambulance will be set up to help you and you'll be whisked right in once you get to the hospital.
call 911!
the warning signs for a stroke are: F.A.S.T.
- FACE: Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the face droop?
- ARMS: Ask the person to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward?
- SPEECH: Ask the person to repeat a simple phrase. Is their speech slurred or strange?
- TIME: If you observe any of these signs, call 9-1-1 immediately.
they also said that an absurd percentage of people who have a stroke/heart attack reports 'steak' as a meal in the previous day.
Monday, June 10, 2013
extreme kayaking
saturday morning we went to walmart to buy another kayak.
kevin bought a kayak for himself last weekend, drove up the river a mile or two, and kayaked home. it only took about 30 minutes.
he thought it was easy enough that i would like it too.
i have never been in a kayak. i was wary of the whole thing but after some cajoling and adventure-shaming, off we went with 2 kayaks in the car.
at first it was great. it was a lazy river. not too deep. not too many rocks.
then after less than 10 minutes we came upon rocks and rapids, and i fell out of my kayak.
i was a drowned rat. my kayak was swamped and sinking. the river rocks were slippery. i managed to get to the side, get most of the water out of the kayak, found my paddle and got back in.
i only screamed "I HATE THIS!" one time. kevin paddled over to help me and fell out of his kayak. this was helpful.
back in the slightly swamped kayaks, we headed downriver again. more rapids ahead, kevin yelled "ROCK" and there was nothing i could do (that i knew of) so i let my kayak hit the rock where it flipped me over and out and got stuck.
there are no pitcures of this, but we can assume it looked like this.
the kayak was wrapped around the rock, stuck. i was waist deep in a rapid trying to get it loose. it was not budging. my paddle floated downriver, gone.
i screamed "I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS!," waded down to where kevin was waiting for me and said "i broke my kayak."
he went back, dislodged the kayak (not broken after all!), stashed it in the woods, gave me the key to his car and paddled his kayak home.
i scrambled out of the woods completely soaking wet, i passed an older couple of tourists on the trail and as i scurried by she said "oh...OH!" and i said "i fell in the river." she laughed. i cried.
i soppingly walked a mile back to the car and drove home.
this is where i left my pants and shoes.
an hour later a jehova's witness knocked on the door, i'm sure she was thinking the people who live here need some jesus in their life!
Labels:
asheville,
experiment,
food. crazy,
nature
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Friday, June 07, 2013
brain damaged cardinal flying into window repeatedly
brain damaged cardinal flying into window repeatedly a video by skippy haha on Flickr.
the internet tells me that this male cardinal sees his reflection in the window, thinks it's a rival cardinal, and tries to air-fight him.
over and over.
for hours every day.
this idiot cardinal flies face first into the window, smacks his face, goes back to a branch, and flies again face first into the window.
the internet tells me to put a piece of paper over the window so he can't see his reflection.
i think maybe i'll just let darwin take care of this guy.
Wednesday, June 05, 2013
bear in the driveway
2 minutes ago! smallish bear, probably only 150 lbs. moseying, and i do mean moseying down the driveway.
the dogs went berserk.
it's garbage day and the bears like garbage!
happy 10th birthday NACHO!
today everybody's favorite labrador with an overbite, nachodoggy turns a healthy hearty 10 anos!
he has been the sweetest, most gentle dog i've ever had.
big brother holden was a little wary of sharing his toys and food, and in fact ate much of nacho's kibbles for the first couple of months before i realized what was happening. nacho was fine with sharing!
nacho makes friends with everybody, even aaron the ups guy.
nacho is not the perfect dog. he's a major counter surfer.
nacho was on the san diego news during the vintage vantage 'voting is for old people' t-shirt controversy
nacho moved to a house with a pool and was never scared to get in. holden would not get in, nacho hopped in immediately!
nacho is endlessly patient with puppies!
nacho loves to ride in the car. he was happy to move to north carolina. he is happy to do anything.
nacho will go to the bathroom ANYWHERE. he is not ashamed. when he has to go, he goes. anywhere, anytime. getting a doggy door has been a great advance in nacho's life.
nacho LOVES puddles! he loves to wallow in puddles like a pig.
nacho is a terrible retriever. his overbite precludes him from holding a tennis ball. he doesn't care! he is happy just the way he is.
nacho makes himself comfortable, wherever he is. he finds the softest spot and settles.
nacho lies like a frog! still! always! feet splayed behind him.
nacho got his name because his ears look like tortilla chips
nacho is so gentle when he takes treats. sooo gentle! never bites.
nacho is a great hiking companion. he doesn't pull on a leash, and he doesn't run away.
nacho is very sweet to pouncey. pouncey is a punk. nacho is a fantastic mother to him.
nacho loves the water, and he loves following eli around!
nacho wins contests! here is is with some wholly guacamole that he won online! viva!
he is just so sweet i can't stand it
he's also very handsome and noble, and his fleece is white as snow.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NACHODOGGY!
Labels:
celebrate,
fambly,
happy birthday,
photo,
pups
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