True Crime Jesus Trinity

"Luminol don't lie"

"The husband did it"

And

"Lie detectors are bullshit"

These are three universal truths gleaned from years of true crime watching 

All 8x10 acrylic on canvas 

Skippyhaha studihohos. 

Pants as water wings

✨💜🩵

"Pants as water wings." Acrylic on canvas 11x14

Adapted from the 1969 US Army Field Manual "Survival, Evasion, and Escape" 

#skippyhaha #studihoho #obviouslynotAiArt #happyeaster2024 #pantsaswaterwings

Elk Meadow Winter Sunset

 

Acrylic on canvas, 8x10

Victory Garden for a Family of Five

 

 

Acrylic and ink on canvas, 8x10

Roadkill Chunnies

Here's some spring/Easter art🌷🐰🩵

An age-old story of rebirth, or how a cheddar bunny becomes a cheddar square 🐣💐

Today's Wordle Answer

 

Permanent ceasefire now

Reaping What's Been Sown

 

"reaping what's been sown" acrylic on paper 5.5x5

This one is so bad that I think it's funny in the botched Jesus painting way #botchedjesus

Roy Williams looks like a combo Steve Martin and Bobby Knight

Court Storming Leg Healed Up

 

"court storming leg healed up" acrylic on paper 4.5x8

Skippyhaha Studihoho

Just thought I'd share a few skippyhaha studihoho paintings ("hohos") I've made this year.

When I was thinking of t-shirt ideas and graphics professionally for a few years with Vintage Vantage, I would be happy if the idea made people laugh or made people think.

That is still the goal!

"Scrolling Genocide" - acrylic on paper, 7x10

"I Like Fried Chicken!" - acrylic on paper, 8x10

"Elk and Clouds" - acrylic on paper, 8x10

"Kentucky Fried Chicken Right Here" - acrylic on paper, 8x10

How the Columbo Dog Head Greeting Cards Came to Be

 

(This is cross-posted from Columbo Clothes and Laughs) 

 

 

How the Columbo Parody Dog Head Greeting Cards Came to Be: 

 

It was around New Years 2024 when Kevin said I needed a hobby besides the pandemic.

I said, "no I do not." 

 

He said, "yes you do." 

I said "okay, I will paint."

He kindly got an art kit and set up a small easel in a room downstairs. 

 

Mostly as a way to flip off AI art I started painting with acrylics.

 

I painted my "pandemic friends." 

 

I painted some psychedelic stars that have been in my head since 1988.

 

 

 

For a big challenge, I moved onto trying to paint some favorite Columbo scenes. 

The first one turned out okay. 

 

 

I thought I could share these paintings in greeting card form with other Columbo fans. 

I ordered 10 cards as a test from the most eco-friendly card maker I could find in the USA, and as they were being made, I painted 11 more of my favorite scenes. 

 

For example, John Cassavetes playing the Maestro as he's about to be hauled off to jail, shaking Peter Falk playing Columbo's hand:

I looked up whether painting scenes from TV or movies is copyright infringement. 

Sad trombone, yes it is. Fuckers!

I drafted a letter to the heirs of Columbo creators Link and Levinson seeking a license to sell these paintings as cards.

 

I realized NBC Universal Comcast is the evil overlord who owns the copyrights and having dealt with their overzealous IP lawyers for years who deactivate entirely legitimate (due to the First Sale Doctrine) vintage Etsy listings, I felt that a license would be unattainable/overly onerous, so I pivoted to DOG HEADS.

 

Putting dog heads on the bodies takes the paintings to the parody/satire level, which resolves any copyright issues. 

 

So I just photoshopped photos of some dogs I know and love onto the bodies.

 

 

My artist friend Jess Pfohl from Jess! Messin' who is Into This Stuff in a big way told me to paint the dog heads for consistency. 

 

So I painted 22 dog heads to match the characters/vibe of the actors in the paintings.

 

 

And that is how we ended up with 12 scenes from 70s Columbo with parody painted dog heads!

Cards available today from skippyhaha Etsy!

 

Four cards out today, four more next Wednesday March 6th, and the final four cards will be out the following Wednesday March 13th. 

Dogs. 

PS - IF YOU WOULD LIKE A CARD WITH PAINTINGS WITH THE HUMAN HEADS, sent via USPS with a forever letter stamp with NO TRACKING, I had a tiny run of those printed - please message or email me

The Most Orange Conference

I've run the numbers and crunched the data and it turns out the most Orange D1 college athletic conference is...the ACC! Makes sense with the Syracuse Orange as a member school, but I had to be sure.

With 5 schools that have orange in their official colors (Clemson, UVA, VaTech, Miami, and Syracuse) the ACC received 5 hash marks! 

With 2 schools whose colors combine to form orange (Boston College and Florida State), the ACC also received 2 bonus stars. 

The next closest conference was the Southeastern Conference with 3 hash marks for orange teams - Florida, Tennessee and Auburn - and no bonus stars.

My sense that UNC was playing a disproportionate number of orange teams was confirmed! 

🤓🟠🍊🧡🏀😂

Sonar the Funk Robot Band from Boulder/Aquatari

 

I recently acquired some original band tee shirts (Black Creek Band - Southern rock in the late 80s - 90s from Tallahassee, Florida; and Sonar from Boulder, Colorado via the planet Aquatari, in the early 00s) from friend and band member himself, Jason McDaniel, aka "bass player Commander Colt 44."

 

For those of us who have been personally deprived of the knowledge and pleasure of seeing the "four shimmering clouds" of Sonar perform live all we are left to do is piece together the psychonautics from old videos and actual articles that were actually published and distributed in actual local newspapers in the early 00s. 

 

For instance, here is an inter-dimensional gem of an interview from the Steamboat Pilot, October, 2001:

Sonar invades the Wolf Den Tavern

News | Oct 5, 2001

Kelly Silva

 

Steamboat Springs — They claim they’re from an underwater planet called Aquatari. They claim they’re colorful vibrations of energy that slipped into human bodies when they came to Earth.

 

They wear alienesque masks on stage and claim their sound is something like an old-school funk like a New Orleans-style blend of blues and jazz.

 

They are Sonar five vibrations that slipped into five male human bodies and began playing music and Atari to communicate with their home planet Aquatari.

Members of Sonar have names such as Captain Star 69, Commodore 64, Commander Colt 44, Doctor NC 17 and Admiral RX-7. They also produce waves of audio energy from instruments such as impact-induced vibration cylinders, an organi-magnetallic resonating chamber, a low-frequency modulator and multi-chromatic variable wave inverters and don’t forget the Atari 2600 Game Machine.

Their story may seem odd to the humans on Earth, but it won’t be long before they head out of Colorado and into California to tour and keep communication with Aquatari.

“We do a lot of off-the-wall songs; we do spoofs on songs,” Captain Star 69 said. “We really are from another planet.”

The story begins when the vibrations lived on Aquatari under the rule of the super-fine sea goddess.

“We were just vibrations without bodies and we played a sort of music there,” Captain Star 69 said.

Sea goddess Shanaqua controlled Aquatari, but when Manta tried to overthrow the planet, the vibrations with musical talent were sent through a porthole. The members leapt out of the Boulder Reservoir and stumbled upon some men changing a tire on the side of the road.

After the vibrations snuck into the human bodies, they found musical instruments and 8-track tapes in the van.

In order for members of Sonar to communicate with Aquatari, they must play music and Atari. Sonar has decided to give Earthlings a glimpse into what they’re really all about.

“For the time being, we’re just linking up with our home planet,” Captain Star 69 said. “People either love us or hate us. That’s a great thing.”

++++++++++++++

This is something that was published. "We really are from another planet." 

Here's one more supernaturally glowing profile from the Deseret (Salt Lake City, Utah) News from December 2001 - this gives a little more depth and detail.

Band Sonar is out of this world

By Deseret News

Dec 30, 2001, 12:00am MDT

Scott Iwasaki music editor

The funk, jam-rock band Sonar was formed earlier this year in Boulder, Colo., but not in typical garage-band fashion.

According to its biography, the band came together when "four shimmering clouds" of spirits from the planet Aquatari found themselves stranded on Earth after being exiled through an inter-dimensional vortex. That same instant four Boulder musicians, whose names weren't given to protect their innocence, saw these clouds racing toward them. And while they gaped, the clouds shot down their throats and took over their bodies.

Sound like a low-budget B-horror movie?

Perhaps, but the resulting band Sonar is ready to take on Salt Lake City during First Night celebrations Monday night.

Sonar — drummer Captain Star 69, guitarist Commodore 64, bassist Commander Colt 44 and keyboardist Doctor NC17— will hit the Gallivan Center Stage at 10:30 p.m.

During a telephone interview, Captain Star 69 talked with the Deseret News about his band and its mission:

Deseret News: When did the band officially form here on Earth?

Captain Star 69: In Earth years it was 2001, but on Aquatari we measure years by multiples of 9.667. So we actually formed around the Aquatari year 19,000.

Deseret News: What are your goals as a band? 

CS69: We want to play music to as many people as possible, hopefully creating another inter-dimensional vortex that will transport us back to our home planet. Once we return to where we were born, we want to cast out the evil Black Manta who overtook our beautiful Sea Goddess and our world. Right now our music can be transmitted through the positive vibrations from our shows to our home planet, and that vibe sustains the Sea Goddess in this rough time.

Deseret News: ???

CS69: In other words, we want to play our music and create a huge following who, we hope, will buy our music and continue to come to our shows. In other words, we want to start a chain reaction that will make us famous.

Deseret News: Are there any plans to release a full-length album of your "positive vibrations"?

CS69: (After citing Glen Campbell and George Clinton's P-Funk as his main musical influences): We have been listening to what you Earth beings call music. And we have been writing our own music that emulates what is being heard around the world. We hope our creation, called "Pop Song," will help kick-start the vortex.

Deseret News: What is the biggest challenge so far in reaching your goal to return to Aquatari? 

CS69: I don't think this is as much a challenge as it is an honor, but some Earth beings have been coming to our live shows dressed up in robot garb. In fact there have been so many who attend our concerts in this fashion that it is getting difficult to decipher which of the audience members are human and which of them are Aquatarians.

Deseret News: What has been the most offensive thing you've experienced on Earth?

CS69: Nothing.

Deseret News: What has been the most interesting?

CS69: The positive reactions to our positive vibrations, and Red Bull vodka. 

++++++++++++++++ 

This is all fascinating as hell but at this point audios and visuals are necessary.

 

This early morning TV news clip could headline the Found Footage Festival. It's 6AM New Years Eve morning live in Salt Lake City. The TV host, Kevin, says -- "This is Sonar, they're playing live tonight, that's right, at First Night and look at 'em! They come from the planet of Aquatari. That planet...? That's an underwater planet. Guys, welcome to Utah." 

 

Check out their stagewear. Chrome bicycle helmets and alien masks. Jumpsuits.

 

Guitarist Commodore 64 says to Kevin: "We've gone six days without sleeping in our Earth bodies and...we're just gonna rip it up, we're gonna tear it up, we're gonna have fun at First Night."

 

Then they break into a couple minutes of some serious first class underwater space funk jams

 

After break, the flabbergasted news anchorlady Mary at 3:25 says "Kevin, the more we read about this band, the freakier weird they get."

 

Kevin: "They've got their own stuntmen and they're enjoying their First Night celebrations. Here they go, now! Sonar comes from the planet of Aquatari, so we've been told. As Mary mentioned there were four of these... band guys, all of a sudden they got infiltrated by clouds and other things and here we are. They're playing tonight at First Night celebration, they're giving away some CD's, in fact we've got 2 CDs to give away to the first 2 callers and [laughing] also... these guys are FREAKS! [laughing] the first 2 callers and the first 2 E-MAILS that come in..."

They communicate via email! And have Karate stunts! Breaking boards! "The Karate Expo - Sonar the Robot Band" at Boulder's Fox Theatre July 27, 2002 - ("The Karate Expo was an audience favorite at a Sonar show. It involved Commander Colt 44, and their trusty stuntman, Admiral RX-7, on the high kicks") :

 

 

Importantly, the music kicks ass too. Here they are jamming out the old school Newcleus hit Jam On It at South x Southwest 2002 - 

 

 We can all agree that we are dejected to have missed this audiovisual spectacle live 20+ years ago, but we can still celebrate the vibes with these tee shirts today:

Sonar Aquatari Quiet Please t-shirt

 

 

 

 

 Sonar Wavelab graphic t-shirt

 

 

To shimmering clouds, karate stunts, "old-school funk like a New Orleans-style blend of blues and jazz" - long live the planet Aquatari and its temporal vessels -  Sonar - the freaky weird band from Boulder.