happy birthday phil! adios j, j & m!

at midnight, guadalajara joe led us all in 'happy birthday' to shiny haired phil!

i went to santa barbara yesterday for jay & jess & miles' going away dinner/art sale/music show and it was fantastic.

loving the west indian girl spacey trippy rock that rolls


kind of like the flaming lips but easier on the eyes & just very damn good


art show!


jay gets down to another awesome performance by tweener king guadalajara joe!

damn i'm going to miss that guy on the dancefloor.

not so fantastic was the deal at the hotel santa barbara. hotel security shut down our 'party' before it even started.


they didn't buy the line that it wasn't a party, we were working, it was a photoshoot. it was only 7 or 8 of us, fine upstanding citizens, being civil and polite and not drunk, wanting only to converse reasonably and maybe have ah beer and that's it.

on the train home today i wrote some lyrics for "welcome to the hotel santa barbara" (to the tune of the eagles' classic 'hotel california').

Welcome to the Hotel Santa Barbara
We'll kick you out
You don't even have to shout

Plenty of room at the Hotel Santa Barbara
Where it's always late
And we don't negotiate

Party in the lobby
not up in your room
no one has a good time here
we're the hotel of doom
nice people kicked on the sidewalk
at 2 AM
if they're not registered guests
out the door with them

Welcome to the Hotel Santa Barbara
now it's time to go
this means you, G-Joe

No livin it up at the Hotel Santa Barbara
grumpy front desk guy
just won't let it slide

Booooooooooooo





and then just about 40 minutes from home, my train smashed a small pickup truck and man who was driving it. trainwreck in encinitas.

hope you had a great birthday phil, dig the spirit of 76, and best of everything (mejor de todo?) to jay, jess & miles the intrepid adventurers in search of a home that fits their vibe in cadaques, espana.

honeydripper

the second tape i threw out of a window

in Senor Hoffmann’s 10th grade Espanol, i threw a listening comprehension

cassette tape out the second-floor classroom window

while El Profesor was out of the room &

everybody saw me do it –

after Mitchell Kent bet me $5 i wouldn’t.

Once El Profesor realized the tape was gone, he freaked

his stooped little bald headed thick-ass glasses-ed

self out & announced his plan to ferret out

the criminal(s) – which was more homework

for everybody, more quizzes, and bringing in

Dr. Sullivan (aka Dr. Vullisan) the slick smirky steely Asst. Principal

and the singling out of the 1

kid in the class of color as the likely perp.

he was from the Dominican Republic,

named Alfonso Hernandez mr. charming &

he was getting blamed for it if nobody (me)

stepped up and admitted it. The reason Al got blamed is

because i’d written a note to El Professor

in semi-broken Espanol (thereby throwing him off

my trail – i had bueno enspanol) saying that

“I threw the tape out the window & ‘the

machine that eats the grass ate the tape’”-

which was true – by the time i

looked for the tape the next week, it was

gone, in its place cut grass.

so Al was getting blamed, Dr. Sullivan was

called in, El Profesor wasn’t letting it

go like i'd thought he would and

fucking Mitchell kent that rat

bastard hadn’t given me $5.

so i fessed up & had to go

to Dr. Sullivan’s office & explain it &

he was kind of laughing the whole

time & instead he talked about writing

his dissertation on Eliot’s “The Hollow Men”

and gave me a copy of the

poem out of his file cabinet to keep &

it was about men stuffed with

straw of clothes stuffed with straw and

just about how fake everything is. So he let me off with a

copy of “The Hollow Men” & a bill for $35.50

to replace the whole set of tapes

from D.C. Heath Publishing Company.

El Profesor had to think it was funny deep

down, too & Al was proud of me for

coming clean i’ll never forget his eyes

in class when he realized he was the one

being singled out wrongly accused

in the end we’re

all alright

except for fucking Mitchell kent who

never gave me my $5

draw yourself

come on out to clip n' dale's!

there's a place in Lakeside, CA where you can go for a sweet hairstyle and an unforgettable trip -
CLIP N' DALE'S!

here's the video commercial! i'm in it, along with buffalo rose & padres jen.

here are some outtakes from beforehand at don's cocktails down the street

donde estan her pantalones?


jen, me, don & rose


ready to go make a commercial!


what a mind scrambling trip! thanks to guadalajara joe, armando telemundo, grandma mary, barbie gottabigbooty, DALE, kevin, danielle & linda for making it all happen!

wasp 2

i offered money & lunch for anybody who would get the allegedly non-stinging dauber wasp for me, but in the meantime the nice people at eartheasy.com showed me how to make a trap for it. natural pest control.

ginger ale bottle
soapy water to make it harder to fly
honey all in the bottleneck
fingers crossed



here it is in its spot under where the wasp mainly daubs all day

wasp

it's as long as a crayon
black
oval head
tiny waist
long gold legs hang off its back
it's been in the house the past few days
morning afternoon
must sleep at night
hangs out next to desk in corner ceiling
next to painting
zooms in near my head
thru closed doors
window cracks

it sees me try to take its picture
i look at camera to hit button
for just one second
look up
there it is
every time
hovering buzzing the sound of 5 flies or more at once
right at my head face level
i turn & run & scramble backwards
scream "FUCK" and "GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKER"
involuntarily and hope for its death
hope it is old & about to die
hope it flies into a moving vehicle
hope it stings me when i'm not looking
just get it over with

i take down the painting it hangs out around & there are 20-ish blobs of mud caked onto the side where the fucker's been building a nest
i took down the painting & look forward to tomorrow when it comes back & its project has been relocated to the kitchen
i got 2 flyswatters tonight in preparation and also have a strapping young man visiting tomorrow who can help me get rid of this pest if i need it
i painted something today while the terrorist held my office hostage with its endless swooping diving buzzing
as long as a crayon
black
oval head
tiny waist
long gold legs hang off its back

(just the other day parttown told me about tarantula hawks
and i see on the schmidt sting pain index that wasps hurt.)

here's the wasp nest hung up & reflected in jay archibald's watermelon orchids

topcat lisa

my friend lisa completely ROCKS! she is a real live nfl cheerleader for the carolina panthers in charlotte! so cool!

(click her!)

wine country temecula this weekend

so fun!








there's a video of jed, brady, & some ladies at thornton winery here
("navy seal jed helps ladies at temecula winery")

i posted a couple more videos on youtube and somebody gave me only 1 star ratings! bastards!

more photos of the whole trip are here

happy birthday quissy!

to the best little brother since henry! have a great day!

over 20 billion served

august 18

sick sweet
heavy sweet
full mid august heat
heavy sun full
day turns honey brown
drip drop heavy sweet
sludge of spring summer
accumulates here bucket
swill together dark full
droplets amber sun heavy gold
drops dark red full burst
angle more steep sooner does creep
dark fall full deep
fall from gold heat
beat beat beat beat
beat beat beat beat --