Wednesday, December 22, 2010

when parents text




this is the funniest site i have seen in years.


parents texting with their children.


por ejemplos:


FLASH
Dad: ill send you a FLASH tomorrow
Me: What’s a flash?
Dad: this thing that goes FLASH on the phone
Me: It’s a text, thanks.


*****


PROFILE PIC
Mom: Proud day for you! I changed my facebook picture
Me: to what?
Mom: Gummy bears. LOL!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

holiday advice from charles-pierre baudelaire


Always be drunk.
That's it!
The great imperative!
In order not to feel
Time's horrid fardel
bruise your shoulders,
grinding you into the earth,
Get drunk and stay that way.
On what?
On wine, poetry, virtue, whatever.
But get drunk.
And if you sometimes happen to wake up
on the porches of a palace,
in the green grass of a ditch,
in the dismal loneliness of your own room,
your drunkenness gone or disappearing,
ask the wind,
the wave,
the star,
the bird,
the clock,
ask everything that flees,
everything that groans
or rolls
or sings,
everything that speaks,
ask what time it is;
and the wind,
the wave,
the star,
the bird,
the clock
will answer you:
"Time to get drunk!
Don't be martyred slaves of Time,
Get drunk!
Stay drunk!
On wine, virtue, poetry, whatever!"

-Charles-Pierre Baudelaire

Monday, December 20, 2010

wine country


it's noon on a saturday.

you're in an SUV limo with 15 people you just met, going from winery to winery in temecula, california.

you start making out with one of the people in the back seat.

this is the reaction.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

my dream


when i think of the most perfect moment i could ever live through, this is it.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

shine on


no more tiles in the bag, and this is the message the scrabble gods sent me last night.

here's a video of john cruz singing his song of the same name.


The morning sun comes through the window on your hair
I find your love & spirit everywhere
I may not have that much to give in material things
But what i have is this song & to you i sing

Shine on, shine on let your light fill up this world til' dawn
Shine on, shine on let your light fill up this world til' dawn

All night long i wait for you and you're finally there
I'm amazed at the loving that we both have shared
I may not have that much to give in material things
But what i have i give to you so freely

Shine on, shine on let your light fill up this world til' dawn
Shine on, shine on let your light fill up this world til' dawn.

All night long, i will wait for your fire
All night long, i will wait for your fire
All night long, i will wait for your fire
All night long, i will wait for your fire

Well, the morning sun comes through the window on your hair
I awake to find your spirit everywhere
I know i may not have that much to give in material things
But what i have i give to you so freely

So, shine on, shine on let your light fill up this world til' dawn
Shine on, shine on just let your light fill up this world til' dawn

All night long, i will wait for your fire
All night long, i will wait for your fire
All night long, i will wait for your fire
All night long, i will wait for your fire

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

nachodoggy


i decided i was being mean to people i don't know on here today, and deleted the posts about zuckerman's hands and donald trump television and here is a picture of nacho's gullet.

television


oh to be like nacho and have a brain the size of a walnut, fresh snuggies to drool on, and an everwagging tail...

i spent the majority of my adult life without a tv. which meant that i spent a lot of time online. i missed having a tv during college basketball season and that's it.

in the past couple years, the situation has changed, definitely for the better, and now there is a big screen tv in the family room and i spend a couple hours every night in front of it.

i thought it was supposed to be relaxing and turn people into unthinking zoned-out zombies. instead i often find myself anxious and yelling at the screen and hating humanity.

i love the show pawn stars. i love the real emotion and hope and validation non-actors get in selling their treasures.

i love watching sports on tv. i hate the announcers. we turn on woody durham on the radio and sync it to the tv during carolina basketball. i learn so much more about the teams that way - radio announcers kick ass. tv announcers blow hard.

last night for example the following shows stressed me out:

cash cab - while i love the true emotion of non-actors (again) i am anxious while watching it imagining if i'd been in the cab and didn't know the answers

millionaire matchmaker - the plastic surgery and shallowness was overwhelming. completely. and the loneliness. egos. delusions. uggghhh.

even the golf channel, which you would think would lull a person to peaceful rest, had a show about how donald trump strong-armed his way into polluting the northeast coast of scotland with his 'biggest' and 'best' and 'most lavish' golf course that he's building in the dunes there. he is an ass. if he wanted to appreciate the dunes and let people enjoy walking through them, he could've created a park instead of a multi-million dollar exclusive golf course in the beautiful fragile ecosystem. now if you want to walk in those dunes you'll have to pay exorbitant greens fees. and half your month's salary to stay at the fake garish castle he's renovating. america, fuck yeah!

so i guess i should just stick with pawn stars, house hunters, and unc basketball with the volume off.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

skedaddling



highlights of the past week include:

- tea and crumpets (okay coffee and chocolate) with friends and their chubby babies

- a chubby 1 year old who slaps his legs instead of clapping

- a chubby 1 year old who tumbled gracefully head first into a diaper pail and didn't even cry

- corn pudding and collared greens from 12 bones

- for 4 meals in a row

- behind the scenes after hours tour of a fantastic brewery in the woods with fun friends old and new

- lap sitting in the back of a cab down the interstate

- finding a stray lace thong at our house after a party, for the second party in a row

- finger painting a mannequin flesh color

- sub-zero wind chills forcing me to stay inside

- for 4 days in a row

Friday, December 10, 2010

million dollar soup bowl idea


i would love to have soup bowls with spouts. then i could drink the soup dregs straight out of the bowl without spilling on myself or needing a bib.

you are free to take this idea and run, just please send me one.

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

dusting porch


welp it's snowing in asheville. it hasn't stopped snowing in asheville since last friday. no real accumulation over an inch, just icy super windy winter shit. it's so cold in the basement the olive oil froze. i put olive oil on the dogs' food as gravy and it was caked frozen onto the sides this morning. i'm so ready for april.

Monday, December 06, 2010

selling vintage clothes


i am so excited to be selling vintage clothes online again.

i love everything about this job.

i love finding the clothes at goodwill. i think of it as treasure hunting and 'saving' them.

i love taking pictures of the clothes.

i love photoshopping people's heads on the mannequin.

i love getting them to people who will love to wear them. it feels good to wear your favorite clothes!

i started a store on etsy, as opposed to ebay or starting a site of my own. the fees are reasonable, i like how it looks, it's simple to add new shirts, they allow buyers to pay with checks, money orders, and cash, not just paypal, and they have a 'vacation mode' where i can close the shop for any amount of time and go away.

the top shelf from vintage vantage will eventually be listed in the etsy shop. as soon as the boxes arrive and i can list them.

i love working!

here's a link to the shop - skippy haha vintage on etsy

Saturday, December 04, 2010

eating while driving


Faster Food, originally uploaded by FaceMePLS.

i started a group on flickr called "Eating while Driving" and there are 25 pictures added already from people all over the globe.

click to see: Eating while Driving