Thursday, June 27, 2013

sports requiring helmets

for the second time in two weeks i broke my own rule about avoiding helmet sports.

i put on that helmet right there, complete with face mask, and smacked some slow softballs.

kevin put on a helmet of his own and smacked some very fast baseballs.

he was very good at this


then we went to kenya to play 18 holes of putt putt. 


the course features life sized elephants, zebras, giraffes, volcanoes and waterfalls.


tropical gardens mini golf and batting cages - YESSSSS!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

brevard labrador vintage t-shirt with eli, nacho & pouncey!

the dogs were happy to help model a 80's vintage t-shirt from brevard nc featuring one of their cousins with a duck in his mouth.

2 minutes after this picture was taken our buddy the black bear came down the hill, headed towards us - there was a 4 foot chain link fence between us and him, though.

the dogs started barking like crazy and charged him, and i followed them also yelling at the bear. he made a quick turn and scurried to the neighbor's. 

garbage day!

Sunday, June 16, 2013

happy father's day!

i hope all dads are having great days! 

here's pouncey this morning hopping through the hay like a white tail deer 

Thursday, June 13, 2013

is that a dildo?

the river is kind of a trash can. especially after heavy rains, it's easy to find things like plastic bags, nerf balls, socks, hubcaps, and makeup brushes washed upon the banks.

the other night we were down there throwing balls for the dogs and saw what looked like a dildo bobbing around in a little cove. it was skin colored. it was phallic. it was floating. what the hell else could it be? a paint roller? we were flummoxed.

reenactment featuring curious pouncey as a puppy
do you want to know what it was?

it wasn't a dildo!

it looked like a dildo though, didn't it?

do you really want to know?


it was a baby doll arm!

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

having a stroke? call 911!

ambulance ride
kevin's parents came for memorial day and among the great discussions that we had, they shared some advice they'd recently heard from a prominent neurosurgeon in tallahassee.

if you think you (or somebody else) are having a stroke, call 911! do not try to drive yourself to the emergency room.

it will take hours for you to be processed correctly through the system, for the neurologist to arrive, for help.

'time is brain' - the longer it takes, the less recovery.

if you call 911, an ambulance will be set up to help you and you'll be whisked right in once you get to the hospital.

call 911!

the warning signs for a stroke are: F.A.S.T.

  • FACE: Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the face droop? 
  • ARMS: Ask the person to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward? 
  • SPEECH: Ask the person to repeat a simple phrase. Is their speech slurred or strange? 
  • TIME: If you observe any of these signs, call 9-1-1 immediately.

they also said that an absurd percentage of people who have a stroke/heart attack reports 'steak' as a meal in the previous day.

Monday, June 10, 2013

extreme kayaking

I flipped out of this & got it stuck on a rock in a rapid, lost my paddle & had to walk home. #extreme #summer #swamp #andrea #rapids #swannanoa

saturday morning we went to walmart to buy another kayak.

kevin bought a kayak for himself last weekend, drove up the river a mile or two, and kayaked home. it only took about 30 minutes.

he thought it was easy enough that i would like it too.

i have never been in a kayak. i was wary of the whole thing but after some cajoling and adventure-shaming, off we went with 2 kayaks in the car.

at first it was great. it was a lazy river. not too deep. not too many rocks.

then after less than 10 minutes we came upon rocks and rapids, and i fell out of my kayak.

i was a drowned rat. my kayak was swamped and sinking. the river rocks were slippery. i managed to get to the side, get most of the water out of the kayak, found my paddle and got back in.

i only screamed "I HATE THIS!" one time. kevin paddled over to help me and fell out of his kayak. this was helpful.

back in the slightly swamped kayaks,  we headed downriver again. more rapids ahead, kevin yelled "ROCK" and there was nothing i could do (that i knew of) so i let my kayak hit the rock where it flipped me over and out and got stuck.

there are no pitcures of this, but we can assume it looked like this.

the kayak was wrapped around the rock, stuck. i was waist deep in a rapid trying to get it loose. it was not budging. my paddle floated downriver, gone.

i screamed "I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS!," waded down to where kevin was waiting for me and said "i broke my kayak."

he went back, dislodged the kayak (not broken after all!), stashed it in the woods, gave me the key to his car and paddled his kayak home.

i scrambled out of the woods completely soaking wet,  i passed an older couple of tourists on the trail and as i scurried by she said "oh...OH!" and i said "i fell in the river." she laughed. i cried.

i soppingly walked a mile back to the car and drove home.

kayak residue 
this is where i left my pants and shoes. 

an hour later a jehova's witness knocked on the door, i'm sure she was thinking the people who live here need some jesus in their life!

Friday, June 07, 2013

brain damaged cardinal flying into window repeatedly

the internet tells me that this male cardinal sees his reflection in the window, thinks it's a rival cardinal, and tries to air-fight him.

over and over. 

for hours every day.

this idiot cardinal flies face first into the window, smacks his face, goes back to a branch, and flies again face first into the window.

the internet tells me to put a piece of paper over the window so he can't see his reflection.
i think maybe i'll just let darwin take care of this guy.

Wednesday, June 05, 2013

bear in the driveway

2 minutes ago! smallish bear, probably only 150 lbs.  moseying, and i do mean moseying down the driveway.

moseying bear

the dogs went berserk.

it's garbage day and the bears like garbage!

happy 10th birthday NACHO!

today everybody's favorite labrador with an overbite, nachodoggy turns a healthy hearty 10 anos!

he has been the sweetest, most gentle dog i've ever had. nach door

big brother holden was a little wary of sharing his toys and food, and in fact ate much of nacho's kibbles for the first couple of months before i realized what was happening. nacho was fine with sharing!


nacho makes friends with everybody, even aaron the ups guy.


nacho is not the perfect dog. he's a major counter surfer.

bad dog! 

nacho was on the san diego news during the vintage vantage 'voting is for old people' t-shirt controversy 


nacho moved to a house with a pool and was never scared to get in. holden would not get in, nacho hopped in immediately! 


nacho is endlessly patient with puppies! 

nacho tilly holden 

nacho loves to ride in the car. he was happy to move to north carolina. he is happy to do anything. 


nacho will go to the bathroom ANYWHERE. he is not ashamed. when he has to go, he goes. anywhere, anytime. getting a doggy door has been a great advance in nacho's life. 

synchronized pooping 

nacho LOVES puddles! he loves to wallow in puddles like a pig. 

nacho resting 

nacho is a terrible retriever. his overbite precludes him from holding a tennis ball. he doesn't care! he is happy just the way he is. 

thanksgiving pups 

nacho makes himself comfortable, wherever he is. he finds the softest spot and settles. 

clown dog 

nacho lies like a frog! still! always! feet splayed behind him. 

nacho morning 

nacho got his name because his ears look like tortilla chips 

nacho doggy! 

nacho is so gentle when he takes treats. sooo gentle! never bites. 

nacho had a little lamb 

nacho is a great hiking companion. he doesn't pull on a leash, and he doesn't run away. 

nacho top of the world 

 nacho is very sweet to pouncey. pouncey is a punk. nacho is a fantastic mother to him. 
wanna be startin somethin 

nacho loves the water, and he loves following eli around! 

follow the leader 

nacho wins contests! here is is with some wholly guacamole that he won online! viva! 

nacho & guacamole 

he is just so sweet i can't stand it 

sweet wagging nacho 

he's also very handsome and noble, and his fleece is white as snow. 

Like he's made of sheepskin #dog #yellow #labrador #nacho

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

"all depression has its roots in self pity..."

i just really love this quote from tom robbins' fierce invalids home from hot climates

“All depression has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in people taking themselves too seriously." 

At the time Switters had disputed her assertion. Even at seventeen, he was aware that depression could have chemical causes. 

"The key word here is roots," Maestra had countered. "The roots of depression. For most people, self-awareness and self-pity blossom simultaneously in early adolescence. It's about that time that we start viewing the world as something other than a whoop-de-doo playground, we start to experience personally how threatening it can e, how cruel and unjust. At the very moment when we become, for the first time, both introspective and socially conscientious, we receive the bad news that the world, by and large, doesn't give a rat's ass. Even an old tomato like me can recall how painful, scary, and disillusioning that realization was. So, there's a tendency, then, to slip into rage and self-pity, which if indulged, can fester into bouts of depression." 

"Yeah but Maestra - " 

"Don't interrupt. Now, unless someone stronger and wiser - a friend, a parent, a novelist, filmmaker, teacher, or musician - can josh us out of it, can elevate us and show us how petty and pompous and monumentally useless it is to take ourselves so seriously, then depression can become a habit, which, in tern, can produce a neurological imprint. Are you with me? Gradually, our brain chemistry becomes conditioned to react to negative stimuli in a particular, predictable way. One thing'll go wrong and it'll automatically switch on its blender and mix us that black cocktail, the ol' doomsday daiquiri, and before we know it, we're soused to the gills from the inside out. Once depression has become electrochemically integrated, it can be extremely difficult to philosophically or psychologically override it; by then it's playing by physical rules, a whole different ball game. That's why Switters my dearest, every time you've shown signs of feeling sorry for yourself, I've played my blues records really loud or read to you from The Horse's Mouth. And that's why when you've exhibited the slightest tendency toward self-importance, I've reminded you that you and me - you and I: excuse me - may be every bit as important as the President or the pope or the biggest prime-time icon in Hollywood, but none of us is much more than a pimple on the ass-end of creation, so let's not get carried away with ourselves. Preventive medicine, boy. It's preventive medicine." 

"But what about self-esteem?" 

"Heh! Self-esteem is for sissies. Accept that you're a pimple and try to keep a lively sense of humor about it. That way lies grace - and maybe even glory.” 

― Tom Robbins, Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates

music is a sound value

O.C. Smith - Love Is Forever 

OC sports a fine-ass Cowichan sweater.

Years of Kmart price tags in the corner.

If I had a turntable, this might have come home with me.