Tuesday, December 01, 2009

deer carcass



there's a squirrel stuck in the chimney. or a raccoon. i heard banging yesterday and closed the glass doors on the fireplace. this morning i could hear it scratching its little claws against the metal trying to get out. i'm going to do nothing about it because i'm paralyzed by fear. i need clark griswald to come over and catch it in the coat, smack it with a hammer.

the aerogarden is doing great, italian basil is in the lead, the only one sprouting already.

the tar heels are looking okay this season, but nothing sparkly and spectacular like last year. last year i loved danny green, ty lawson, and wayne ellington. this year, i like marcus ginyard and ed davis. the freshmen have not dazzled me, and zeller looks like he should play for duke. and poor roy williams and his shoulder, looked like he was in a lot of pain as he won his 600th game the other night.

it's december first already, going to be 60 and sunny today here in charlotte, can't really complain about that.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Squirrels and raccoons in chimneys. Figure they can get out the same way they got in. Open up the glass doors cautiously. Open up the damper cautiously. Roll up a section of newspaer so it's long. Light it and push it up into the damper area or higher. The smoke is what will move them out. You're not trying to burn them. Smoke them out.

Anonymous said...

Sorry I sent it twice. Got nervous. Can the ribs of that deer be picked any cleaner? What or who do you think did it? Something hungry I guess.

skippy haha said...

the squirrel has been quiet since yesterday afternoon. we had a guy (the "Critter King") coming out this morning but just called him off since it's been quiet. Critter King said "aw don't be naive, you know he's still in there. squirrels get anxious and they get that squirrel protein in their blood and they DIE." so i think the plan now is to open the doors and damper cautiously, and light a fire and smoke that dead squirrel so it doesn't stink. i will be standing by with a broom ready to hit any live squirrels out of the door like a hockey puck.

the deer carcass was picked by vultures. i think somebody hunted it and took the meat and dropped the carcass near that empty lot. it took 2 or 3 days for the vultures to get the good stuff. holden was not allowed over there.

Anonymous said...

Oh that darn Critter King...the difference between what I recommend and him is that he'll kill it and it would be in your chimney to smell. If you smoke him/her out then there is no death, therefore no smell. I did it with raccoons at Drezas about 10years ago. No problem. Just be careful opening up the damper. If you do it just a little bit the animal can't get in but the smoke can get up. And you don't have to pay for a Critter King. Win Win.

skippy haha said...

that WOULD be win-win, but i think the squirrel is already dead in the chimbley. or maybe he did escape. he was scratching around for 1 day and now there is no noise. so if he's in there dead he will start to rot in a couple days. but if we start a fire maybe the heat will smoke/mummify him.

kid D said...

Clark, I'd like to try to fumigate this here chair. If you don't mind my askin', how much did she set you back?

skippy haha said...

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.