i hate to be sappy but i hope everybody has a peaceful warm exciting refreshing inspiring cozy new years.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
i tried to get holden to do this at a chapel hill harris teeter in about 1999. one night my friend jill and i put on sunglasses and took the white pole that hangs off horizontal blinds as a walking cane, and put the old navy dog raincoat onto which i had stenciled 'guiding eyes for the blind - dog in training' on holden and we let him out of the car near the entrance to the grocery store, hoping he'd run in & go to the meat aisle and take something out and cause some cute mischief. but holden just sat in the parking lot looking at us.
the dog in this video is my new hero.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
i thought i hated cats. howard is henry's brother and a sweet kitten who likes to snuggle and doesn't act like a sneaky liar who is merely tolerating my presence. i would still run one over with my car to avoid an accident, but he's melting my lump of coal heart. they sat like this on my feet for an hour this afternoon while i read.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
other good news - i am dogsitting another dog named henry this week & he is the same colors and a good boy too
other good news, holden will look like hannibal lecter with his cage muzzle mask and might turn from world's wussiest to more studly, he will at least look very scary
he threw up his dinner last night undigested
i stayed up all night convinced he'd eaten something cloth and deciding to put him to sleep
i can't deal with this
compulsively obsessive dog has to be watched every damn second
i took him to the vet when they opened & they x-rayed him & saw something in his stomach and not yet in his intestines, and gave him the amorphine shot and he threw up two fucking socks
i have no idea where he got them, they were not mine - i guess out in the yard.
$300 of dog puke later here i am
i am going to hell but i wish he had died
i can't deal with this anymore
does anybody want a free dog?
i am serious.
i can't afford a dog like this anymore. mentally i can't.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
this was deemed "mucho mucho demasiado" for myfacehurts.com
but i don't think it's that terrible
they're bushy tailed rats
brains the size of a raisin
i went through a time in high school where i killed at least a dozen birds, squirrels, chipmunks with my car in the span of a month but haven't killed any in years.
i don't brake for them though. a girl i knew in college with a huge gash scar across her forehead and eye and nose from braking for a squirrel cured me of that. i see her face and don't brake. i brake for people, dogs and maaaaybe a cat if there was no oncoming traffic.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
somebody in my neighborhood had a duffel bag stolen out of his yard. he proceeded to cut up cartons and write melodramatic guilt-trip paragraphs and taped them to telephone poles. the person who took his bag wishes they had a grandma who would give them nice things. get real jackass.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
"Mountains should be climbed with as little effort as possible and without desire. The reality of your own nature should determine the speed. If you become restless, speed up. If you become winded, slow down. You climb the mountain in an equilibrium between restlessness and exhaustion. Then, when you're no longer thinking ahead, each footstep isn't just a means to an end but a unique event in itself. This leaf has jagged edges. This rock looks loose. From this place the snow is less visible, even though closer. These are things you should notice anyway. To live only for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountain which sustain life, not the top. Here's where things grow.
But of course, without the top you can't have any sides. It's the top that defines the sides. So on we go...we have a long way...no hurry...just one step after the next...with a little Chautauqua for entertainment. ...Mental reflection is so much more interesting than TV it's a shame more people don't switch over to it. They probably think what they hear is unimportant but it never is."
- Robert M. Pirsig - Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
listened to or understood?
understood or challenged?
i just got a torso mannequin for some more efficient t-shirt modeling, and i think with dick cheney's head in the window it will also scare away would-be burglars, unless they think there's an armless dick cheney inside and break in just to kick him.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Monday, December 08, 2008
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Saturday, December 06, 2008
what do you do when you're at a herpetologist's house for a ladies' potluck?
make her explain snake sex!
(hemipene - pronounced like hemi-peen - The bi-lobed male reproductive organs in most reptiles, kept inverted in the tail until needed.)
Thursday, December 04, 2008
holden & nacho went for their yearly checkup and vaccines this week.
their report cards say:
holden is 10.5 years old, weighs 71.3 lbs, heartrate 110, very good range of motion in hips, he is doing very well for his age, call him mr. velvet ears
nacho is 5.5. years old, weighs 53.5 lbs, heartrate 100, bright, alert, responsive, good body condition, tortilla chip ears
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
my general crankiness boils down to things being out of my control
i wish i could control weather
i wish i could click my heels and be in NY
i wish i could control the behavior of others
i wish i could control the irritability of others
i wish i could live in a cave full of labrador retrievers
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Everyone has a good birthday and all the holidays filled
with toys, gifts and joy. For me, whatever I get my heart is
overjoyed, I don't expect a thing.
The seasons come and go, sometimes I get real nice stuff,
Sometimes it's just so-so, you will never hear me complain and
I'm never disappointed, because I never expect a thing.
Someone said to me, "Why don't you expect some things
for holidays and special occasions?"
I have all that I need so it really does not matter, as long as
my folks are in good health, have food to eat, and money to
spend, I know my gifts will come in time my friend.
I don't expect a thing, so I always get surprised and no
matter what the gift, what really matters is what's inside.
I don't expect a thing and my life is quite all right.
I don't expect a thing and I always get treated real nice.
from Poetry of a Father Lover & Friend by William O. Johnson