i hate to be sappy but i hope everybody has a peaceful warm exciting refreshing inspiring cozy new years.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
i tried to get holden to do this at a chapel hill harris teeter in about 1999. one night my friend jill and i put on sunglasses and took the white pole that hangs off horizontal blinds as a walking cane, and put the old navy dog raincoat onto which i had stenciled 'guiding eyes for the blind - dog in training' on holden and we let him out of the car near the entrance to the grocery store, hoping he'd run in & go to the meat aisle and take something out and cause some cute mischief. but holden just sat in the parking lot looking at us.
the dog in this video is my new hero.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
i thought i hated cats. howard is henry's brother and a sweet kitten who likes to snuggle and doesn't act like a sneaky liar who is merely tolerating my presence. i would still run one over with my car to avoid an accident, but he's melting my lump of coal heart. they sat like this on my feet for an hour this afternoon while i read.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
other good news - i am dogsitting another dog named henry this week & he is the same colors and a good boy too
other good news, holden will look like hannibal lecter with his cage muzzle mask and might turn from world's wussiest to more studly, he will at least look very scary
he threw up his dinner last night undigested
i stayed up all night convinced he'd eaten something cloth and deciding to put him to sleep
i can't deal with this
compulsively obsessive dog has to be watched every damn second
i took him to the vet when they opened & they x-rayed him & saw something in his stomach and not yet in his intestines, and gave him the amorphine shot and he threw up two fucking socks
i have no idea where he got them, they were not mine - i guess out in the yard.
$300 of dog puke later here i am
i am going to hell but i wish he had died
i can't deal with this anymore
does anybody want a free dog?
i am serious.
i can't afford a dog like this anymore. mentally i can't.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
this was deemed "mucho mucho demasiado" for myfacehurts.com
but i don't think it's that terrible
they're bushy tailed rats
brains the size of a raisin
i went through a time in high school where i killed at least a dozen birds, squirrels, chipmunks with my car in the span of a month but haven't killed any in years.
i don't brake for them though. a girl i knew in college with a huge gash scar across her forehead and eye and nose from braking for a squirrel cured me of that. i see her face and don't brake. i brake for people, dogs and maaaaybe a cat if there was no oncoming traffic.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
somebody in my neighborhood had a duffel bag stolen out of his yard. he proceeded to cut up cartons and write melodramatic guilt-trip paragraphs and taped them to telephone poles. the person who took his bag wishes they had a grandma who would give them nice things. get real jackass.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
"Mountains should be climbed with as little effort as possible and without desire. The reality of your own nature should determine the speed. If you become restless, speed up. If you become winded, slow down. You climb the mountain in an equilibrium between restlessness and exhaustion. Then, when you're no longer thinking ahead, each footstep isn't just a means to an end but a unique event in itself. This leaf has jagged edges. This rock looks loose. From this place the snow is less visible, even though closer. These are things you should notice anyway. To live only for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountain which sustain life, not the top. Here's where things grow.
But of course, without the top you can't have any sides. It's the top that defines the sides. So on we go...we have a long way...no hurry...just one step after the next...with a little Chautauqua for entertainment. ...Mental reflection is so much more interesting than TV it's a shame more people don't switch over to it. They probably think what they hear is unimportant but it never is."
- Robert M. Pirsig - Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
listened to or understood?
understood or challenged?
i just got a torso mannequin for some more efficient t-shirt modeling, and i think with dick cheney's head in the window it will also scare away would-be burglars, unless they think there's an armless dick cheney inside and break in just to kick him.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Monday, December 08, 2008
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Saturday, December 06, 2008
what do you do when you're at a herpetologist's house for a ladies' potluck?
make her explain snake sex!
(hemipene - pronounced like hemi-peen - The bi-lobed male reproductive organs in most reptiles, kept inverted in the tail until needed.)
Thursday, December 04, 2008
holden & nacho went for their yearly checkup and vaccines this week.
their report cards say:
holden is 10.5 years old, weighs 71.3 lbs, heartrate 110, very good range of motion in hips, he is doing very well for his age, call him mr. velvet ears
nacho is 5.5. years old, weighs 53.5 lbs, heartrate 100, bright, alert, responsive, good body condition, tortilla chip ears
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
my general crankiness boils down to things being out of my control
i wish i could control weather
i wish i could click my heels and be in NY
i wish i could control the behavior of others
i wish i could control the irritability of others
i wish i could live in a cave full of labrador retrievers
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Everyone has a good birthday and all the holidays filled
with toys, gifts and joy. For me, whatever I get my heart is
overjoyed, I don't expect a thing.
The seasons come and go, sometimes I get real nice stuff,
Sometimes it's just so-so, you will never hear me complain and
I'm never disappointed, because I never expect a thing.
Someone said to me, "Why don't you expect some things
for holidays and special occasions?"
I have all that I need so it really does not matter, as long as
my folks are in good health, have food to eat, and money to
spend, I know my gifts will come in time my friend.
I don't expect a thing, so I always get surprised and no
matter what the gift, what really matters is what's inside.
I don't expect a thing and my life is quite all right.
I don't expect a thing and I always get treated real nice.
from Poetry of a Father Lover & Friend by William O. Johnson
Sunday, November 30, 2008
having a good time...here today
panicsgiving is almost over & it's been grand seeing everybody and listening to everything
i got some squishy earplugs that take off the top part of what i can hear but what a difference today, no ringing. highly recommend.
Friday, November 28, 2008
i think this is a very kind and thoughtful and conscientious sign to hang - warning leaf collectors and passers-by that there is a black widow in the leaves. i am sure there are black widows in ALL asheville's leaf piles, but i applaud the neighborly effort here.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
for the past few years i've attached an extra long elastic camera strap on my digital camera so i hang it around my neck and it will never fall on the floor.
nacho's tail caught that strap yesterday and wagged the camera off the edge of the desk and the camera is no longer with us.
i was pretty furious and sour about it for a while. i dug out my box of cast-off appliances and found a camera from 3 years ago that works okay. the screen is dim and it's slow to click and some photos have spots, but it's better than nothing.
my friend just had intense knee surgery last week & a couple girls went to her house yesterday to nurse her while her husband was at work. we had a ball. strawberry rhubarb pie, kettle corn, the science of sleep, and lots of laughs. her leg is numb but in a machine that is constantly bending and straightening up and down all day and all night, it's pretty wild. and gael garcia bernal is extremely cute.
Friday, November 21, 2008
i've hung cellophane on 7 windows so far, and i think it is working to cut down drafts. this is the first time i've tried the cellophane - double-sided tape trick and it's been a challenge with the high ceilings (means dragging ladder around/balancing on the arms of a la-z-boy rocking chair/etc.) and tension curtain rods that no longer fit with the cellophane there.
and, it's snowing! the dogs just went out and got frisky like nitwits.
everybody stay toasty.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
* ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
* NOVEMBER 18, 2008
"Older Singers Should Give the Young a Hand" by Jim Fusilli
...As for 21st-century writers whose songs are worth exploring, let's begin with Peter Bradley Adams, Eef Barzelay, A.A. Bondy, Rivers Cuomo of Weezer, John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats, Kathleen Edwards, Geoff Farina, Trevor Garrod of Tea Leaf Green,...
article here - http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122696707696335397.html
trevor's site: trevorgarrod.com
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
the thermostat in this house does not have an 'off' switch - i can set it at the lowest - 50 degrees Fahrenheit- but if the system is on and the temperature drops below 50, it automatically comes on to heat the house up to 50.
i have myself contained to one room with a space heater, and don't want to oil heat to kick on even if it's below 50.
i bought a bunch of handwarmers for 50 cents and put one on top of the thermostat under the slipper sock so the thermostat stays warm and does not trigger the oil heat.
click the sock to see the handwarmer.
the only real danger is if the slipper sock falls off and gets eaten by this terrible dog.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
there's a great article - "Depleted Tar Heels Ready For Opener( Carolina could be without four of its seniors on Saturday)"- about UNC's injury problems, which quotes Roy Williams telling the team: 'quit being a bunch of little wimps.'
Friday, November 14, 2008
i heard that the eucalyptus and palm trees in the area are literally exploding when the oil inside them gets too hot - and that sends flying more flaming shrapnel.
so join me in sending phil some good thoughts and keep your paws crossed that his house survives.
View Larger Map
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
having a bedtime, i remember being awake in bed a lot growing up. i hung upside down over the edge of the bed and would imagine an alternate universe where everybody was barbie-sized and would use the fans and lights and molding and tiles on the ceiling as ball rooms and tiki huts.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Sunday, November 09, 2008
this is a 45 minute walk from my house, up paths paved for cars, though we could count on one hand the cars we saw.
a view of the north end of downtown asheville from the east.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
he looked suspicious.
i looked in the laundry basket and saw only one sock of a pair of thick knee socks.
i freaked the hell out.
stamping my feet, crying, hand wringing, yelling at holden "WHY! GODDAMN IT! YOU FUCKING DOG! THIS IS IT!"
i have a broken CD alarm clock that for some reason goes off every day at noon and midnight (since daylight savings it's 11am and 11pm) and plays the josh phillips folk festival CD in there, which is an upbeat, soulful CD. i yelled at the clock, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" and punched it off.
i pried open his teeth and stuck my hand as far down his throat as it would go.
i turned the laundry basket upside down looking for the other sock.
i thought about waiting to see if he would throw it up, or he would poop it out, but then i started thinking if i wait longer than 2 hours and it moved into his intestines, it could get stuck in the kinks where he's had 2 surgeries in the past, and would require another risky surgery for thousands of doghairs.
so i called the vet to see about the shot to make him throw up. i was crying & said i can't take it anymore, i have spent close to $10,000 on him this year. if he needs surgery, i can't do it.
i brought him in and they x-rayed him, saw the sock in his stomach, and gave him a shot of amorphine to make him throw it up.
now he's back home, on the dog bed resting and slightly gagging, and i'm right next to him slightly gagging too.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
can't wait to see if we get to CHANGE or not
i volunteered last night at the local obama office with my friend michelle. they sent us to candler's finest trailer parks to hang obama signs printed with the hours and voting locations on a few very specific doors.
we knocked every time, but only one man opened up after burping heartily and told us his wife was going to vote today.
so there's that.
Monday, November 03, 2008
i climbed up Looking Glass Rock this weekend with some friends and dogs.
the views were truly spectacular. the rock falls off at a sharp angle and you're faced with a canyonish bowl of trees at the height of the fall color change.
it's like being at the end of the world.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
i think he's funny and honest and i like his straightforward style and he wholeheartedly believes what he's saying.
the newsletter starts:
Candi and I often use the phrase, “these Americans are crazy!” We use this term when referencing the Americans who support McCain and Palin and the right wing conservatives of our country. We see McCain as a fake, old, mean, power hungry, little man with crazy dark eyes that dart around looking for approval. I remember facing McCain in an elevator regarding our current marijuana laws only to see him dart away as I was shoved by some of his security. The entire incident was captured by a freelancer who placed it on you tube here:...
the newsletter also features such gems as:
"I have no respect for McCain and wish we were all on an anarchist island together so I could kick his ass…he deserves it!"
"So vote for Obama. He is half black and half white and totally opposes the crazy Bush and McCain generation of government. "
check it out here.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
henry has a stuffed dog friend about half his size named humpy, so named because henry used to or still likes to hump him. when the neighbor's girl comes over to play with henry, humpy's name turns to brownie.
flicking and crushing it with a slippery conditioner bottle is a surefire way to get the blood pumping in the morning!
and then to find another one in the same place 2 weeks later - exhilirating!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
history isn't written yet,
we're not stuck in a depression yet,
if we stop spending any money won't the economy necessarily shrivel and wither?
shouldn't we keep spending? in places we love for experiences and things and food we love?
i keep seeing 'stocks tumble amidst fears...'
let's stop fearing
and stocks will climb
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
my feedback for the fluff jars and peanut butter stash safes is so good: http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback2&userid=skippyhaha&ftab=AllFeedback
look at all those A++++++'s
Monday, October 20, 2008
i am sitting at my desk chair in my sleeping bag and fingerless gloves.
i called the oil company when they opened at 830 and the guy said he'd have someone here 'before lunch.'
when i moved here in april, the girl moving out said the oil tank was empty.
the oil guy on the phone said that trying to run it when the tank is empty will draw sludge from the 100 year old oil tank into the system and the whole thing would need to be cleaned out
so i'm waiting
YES he just pulled up!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
People at Baracknroll SF this week had some good ideas.
I would drill her with a solar powered dune buggy. Or Ritz Bitz crackers.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Dads are people that love you so mutch that they even buy you things on days that aren't special accations.
Happy Birthday Dad! This is a big one! I'm glad you've grown a neck since I was in 2nd grade! See you soon!